Chapter 9
chapter
nine
Kathryn
After waking up next to the living furnace that is Donovan Jewel, I freaked out. I admit it, I panicked. What were we now? We’d reconciled an old friendship by boinking the hell out of each other. I lost track of how many orgasms he gave me. I’m pretty sure I’ve used my quota for this month. Maybe part of next month too.
I knew that my old friend Lily Granger—though now she has a married name I can’t remember—lived up on Saddle Ridge. So I took a chance and sent her a text to see if she could come pick me up and take me into town. I didn’t want to risk my sister deciding on another lesson I needed to learn.
“Thank you again for picking me up,” I say.
“No problem. I’m glad you texted. I needed to get away from the house this morning anyways. Also, it’s nice to see you after so long.”
“Yes, it’s really nice to be back home.”
“So you and Donovan finally hooked up, or has that been going on for a while?”
I choke on… air, I guess, because I’m not swallowing anything. “What?”
“That was the Jewels’ cabin. And I know y’all were nuts about each other in school.”
“We were?”
“Oh yeah, everyone knew,” Lily says.
“But he had a girlfriend,” I argue.
“Mona? Please. Yes, they were together, but he did the bare minimum with her. Don’t you remember? He only took her to homecoming and one other dance. But he refused to take her to prom.”
“I didn’t go to any of those.”
“Hayes Crawford took Emmy and I to prom.”
That makes me smile. “I remember that. It was a few years after I graduated, I think. But it was a great story.”
“He’s the sweetest.” Then she looks over at me. “Don’t tell Forest that if you see him. He gets all twisted up and jealous when other men talk to me, which is ridiculous.”
“He loves you.”
“He does,” she says with a smile. “So are you going to answer my question, or did you want to keep deflecting?”
“Yes, we hooked up, but it was a first-time thing. An only time thing.”
“Did he say that?”
“Well, no, but we live in two very different worlds,” I say.
“Because he’s a sports star?”
“Yeah, I mean last year he took a super model to the ESPY Awards.”
“Is that a sports thing?”
“Yes. I’m just saying that I am used to being surrounded by egotistical or awkward nerds. I don’t even own a strapless bra.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“I don’t know. Just seems like the kind of thing you’d need to own to wear the right kind of dress to a fancy awards ceremony. They’re televised!”
“Okay, I’m not saying that any of your concerns aren’t valid, but let’s look at it from a different angle. My husband and I were pen pals before we got together. We’d never met in person, and then when he got home, he ghosted me. Told me he didn’t need me anymore and that was that. But I had fallen in love with him so I wasn’t going to take no for an answer unless he could say it to my face.”
“And did he?” I ask.
“Kind of, but not really. The truth was, he came home with battle scars, inside and out. He’d looked me up on my veterinary website and decided I was too beautiful for him. Me!” She points at her chest. “The chubby girl on the spectrum with cow shit on every pair of shoes I own.”
“So how did y’all work it out?”
“His own jealousy got the best of him, then I got stranded at his cabin. It happened the way it was meant to happen. We both had our own insecurities and together we worked through them.”
“I’m going to need you to break that down as to how it reflects me and Donovan,” I say.
“Him being a sports guy doesn’t mean he doesn’t have anything he’s worried isn’t good enough for you.”
I open my mouth to argue but stop. It seems ridiculous to think, and I doubt there is anything Donovan is concerned about, but Lily does bring up a good point.
“Don’t you have a Ph.D? Maybe he’s intimidated by your big, beautiful brain.”
I snort. “That’s doubtful.”
“My point is don’t make the choice for him. That’s what Forest tried to do. Tried to make the decision for me as to whether or not we belonged together. He should get to decide if he wants to be with you or not. Just as you should get to make your own choice. Do you love him?”
“More than anything.” The words come out completely on their own, as if I’ve been holding them in my mouth for years and they’ve been waiting to tumble out.
“Then you owe it to him to let him decide what he wants too.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. My IQ is off the charts!” She chuckles. “Okay, not really, that’s Emmy. But I’ve learned a lot watching her with Zane and how she had never even considered him romantically because she assumed he was too attractive for her. And things with me and Forest. The way Sheriff Burton was nuts about Madison Crawford but waited in the wings for so many years. We let silly things hold us back.”
“You are wise, Lily.”
“I have my moments. So what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to talk to him at our parents’ rehearsal dinner. See if he wants to make a go of things. At the very least I’m going to tell him how I feel. Because people deserve to know when they’re loved.”