26. The Final Surrender #3
Kate kissed her again, very softly this time, cutting off the words. A gentle kiss. And when she pulled back, her own eyes were bright.
“I want everything with you,” she said fiercely. “Everything. Do you understand?”
Gina only nodded, unable to speak, and Kate pulled her close again, holding her as the magnitude of what had just happened settled over them both—terrifying and beautiful and irrevocably real.
They stood like that for long moments, wrapped in each other, their breathing slowly evening out. And suddenly, Kate’s arms squeezed Gina very tightly.
“I’m just so afraid,” she admitted at last, her voice small against Gina’s neck.
“Afraid of what?”
“Of losing you.” Kate held her so tightly Gina could barely breathe. “You fool. You still have to win against Ramsay. You have to.”
The words hit Gina like cold water on the face—the duel. Saturday morning. Dawn.
In all the heat and wonder of what had just happened between them, she’d forgotten. But Kate hadn’t. Kate was thinking ahead to the moment when Gina would stand across from Ramsay with a loaded pistol, when everything they’d just discovered together could be stolen away by a single bullet.
“I will,” Gina promised, wrapping her arms around Kate and holding just as tightly. “I promise you, Kate. I’ll win. I’ll come back to you.”
“You’d better,” Kate said, her voice breaking. “Because now I know what I have to lose.”
* * *
The middle of the night found Kate and Gina lying on the bed, their bodies closely intertwined, embracing each other.
Both were still partially clothed, though disheveled. Kate’s dress loosened at the bodice, Gina having pulled her shirt back on but left it unbuttoned, the fabric draping loosely over her bare chest.
The binding lay discarded on the floor beside them, a pale coil they’d both been too spent to acknowledge.
The urgency from before had vanished, leaving behind something more tender in its wake. Kate’s head rested on Gina’s shoulder while Gina’s arm was wrapped around Kate’s waist, holding her close, too close, always close.
Kate placed her hand on Gina’s chest, to feel the steady beat of her heart beneath her palm.
They lay in comfortable silence for a while, simply breathing together, without tension, and without haste.
After a few minutes, Kate lifted her head slightly from Gina’s shoulder, propping herself up just a bit to look down at her face.
In the dim lamplight, Gina looked so young and so feminine. Her hair fell loose over her shoulders, spilling rebelliously across the pillow. And her lips were still swollen from their earlier kisses.
Gina looked her in the eyes—with that gaze that always stole her breath—and Kate simply smiled.
“You’re beautiful like this,” she said softly, raising her hand and tenderly caressing Gina’s cheek. “Just like this. Just you.”
Gina caught Kate’s hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I’ve never been just me with anyone before. Only you.”
Kate propped herself up a little higher on her elbow to kiss her. She gave her a slow kiss this time. A kiss that had no purpose other than to exist for its own sake.
Her lips moved against Gina’s, savoring her, learning the shape of her mouth, the texture of her lips, the way she sighed when Kate’s tongue swept across her lower lip. There was no rush now. Just the warmth of Gina’s body, the safety of being held, the simple pleasure of touching each other.
“I could stay like this forever,” Kate murmured against Gina’s mouth.
Gina’s arm tightened around her. “I wish we could.”
Kate pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes again, those beautiful green eyes that gazed back at her. The tenderness she found within them made her heart skip a beat. Words seemed so inadequate, so insignificant to express the feeling that surged freely inside her chest.
So she said nothing; she simply kissed her again, attempting to convey with her lips what she could not express with words. She put everything in that new kiss: gratitude, wonder, love… fear. And a desire that seemed unwilling to diminish in the slightest.
The kiss lingered, timeless and unrestrained. It grew deeper and more intense, heightening the heat of their bodies all over again.
Kate pressed herself even closer to Gina, sliding a leg between hers and pressing her body more firmly against hers. She felt Gina shudder beneath her, felt the way her body responded, and how the sounds she already adored began to surface once more.
The heat was building again—slower than before, but no less insistent. Kate’s kisses grew more urgent, her hands beginning to wander with increasing boldness. She wanted more. Wanted to touch Gina again, wanted to learn her completely, wanted to feel her whole body.
But Gina’s hand caught Kate’s wrist gently, stopping her as her fingers began working at the fastenings of her pants.
“Kate,” Gina breathed. “Wait.”
“Why wait?” asked Kate, trying to kiss her again, but Gina turned her head slightly, preventing it. “Don’t you want to…?” Kate asked again with a creased forehead.
“God, yes. I want.” Gina answered hurriedly. “But we should stop. We should—” She seemed to struggle with the words.
Kate pulled back enough to see her face, hurt flashing across her features. “You don’t want to continue?”
“That’s not—” Gina stared at her, her eyes darting over Kate’s. “I want everything with you, Kate. Everything. But not like this. Not tonight.”
“I don’t understand.” Kate’s hand was still caught in Gina’s gentle grip. “We’ve already—what we did before—why can’t we—?”
“Because there’s more,” Gina said quietly.
“So much more. And I want to give you all of it. But not like this, not with Saturday hanging over us. Not when I need to be sharp for the duel, when my mind needs to be clear.” She brought Kate’s hand to her lips, kissed it softly.
“And not in these stolen hours when we’re rushing, when you don’t really know what you’re asking for yet. ”
Kate’s brow furrowed. “I know what I want. I want you. I want—” She hesitated, uncertainty creeping into her voice. “What we did… there’s more than that?”
Gina’s expression softened with affection mixed with tender amusement.
“Yes, lovely wife. There’s more. So much more that I want to show you, to teach you, to share with you.
But I want our first real time together to be when we have time.
When we’re not stolen moments in fear. When I can take my time with you properly, when we can—” She stopped, seeming to realize she was overwhelming Kate.
Kate was quiet for a moment, processing this. “You mean… actual… together…like a man and woman would be?”
“Together, yes. But not as man and woman; rather… as woman and woman.” Gina’s thumb stroked across Kate’s knuckles.
“When two women love each other, when they want to be together fully, there are ways. Beautiful ways. And I want to show you all of them. But not like this. Not when I might—” Her voice caught.
“Not when Saturday could take it all away.”
The mention of the duel sent cold reality washing over them both. Kate’s eyes filled with sudden tears.
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Kate asked, appealing to logic. “Shouldn’t we do… everything… right now?”
Gina smiled, tenderly caressing Kate’s cheek.
“No. I don’t want it that way. It’s not the right time.” Gina looked into her eyes for several seconds without saying another word, then added, “I can’t let tonight cloud my senses. I’d rather have more reasons to come back to you. Safe and sound.”
Kate seemed to understand then, for her expression softened profoundly, and the tension instantly drained from her shoulders.
“Then after,” she said fiercely. “After the duel. You have to promise me. You’ll come back and we’ll have time and you’ll show me—you’ll give me everything you promised.”
“After the duel,” Gina agreed, pulling Kate back down against her, holding her tightly. “I promise you that too. I’ll win on Saturday, and then we’ll have all the time we need. I’ll come back to you and we’ll figure everything out together.”
They lay like that for a while longer, Kate’s head back on Gina’s shoulder. Kate’s hand rested over Gina’s heart again, feeling its steady rhythm.
Saturday was coming. The duel was coming. And Kate could do nothing but wait and pray that Gina’s promises—all of them—would be kept.