22. McCarthy
MCCARTHY
S o she went back to him.
Why I’m surprised, I don’t know.
Why I’m hurt, I don’t want to investigate. Though “hurt” isn’t really the right word.
I’m crushed.
It’s like suddenly I’m a kid again and my mother is crawling back to my father, even though she said that we were all going to escape, that we’d never have to see him again.
Except suddenly our dad is in the crumbling kitchen of the camper while Salinger desperately tries to keep his attention away from us younger kids.
Betrayal.
If she wants to go back to him, that’s her problem.
I pace through my penthouse, wishing it wasn’t so empty then wishing I didn’t care .
The light is on in my study. I slow down and ease into the room.
“I am not seeing the progress I expect. In fact, I am seeing the opposite.”
And now I long for the empty silence.
“You’re in my chair, Sally.”
“My older brother doesn’t move.”
“I’d ask what the hell is wrong with you, but I don’t want to waste the energy.” Salinger leans forward.
“And I’d ask what the hell is wrong with you, but I already know you’re a micromanaging piece of shit.” I sprawl out on the couch in my study like I’m not bothered he’s commandeered my chair.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the two biggest assholes in Seattle.” Crawford invites himself inside, followed by Hudson Wynter.
“I’m not. I’m pragmatic and ruthless. He’s just an asshole.”
Crawford appears in my vision.
“Guess Salinger has already heard the good news and decided to come celebrate.”
“You put out a hit on your PR consultant’s ex-boyfriend.” Salinger is furious.
“So much for client confidentiality.” I sit up to throw the accusation at Hudson.
He’s unbothered.
“You almost got his little brother killed.” Crawford sits down on me, crushing me into the couch.
“ Fuck , get off of me.”
“Salinger” —Crawford’s knee digs into my chest— “is being way too nice to you. Me? I never liked you Seattle Svenssons. Too full of shit for my taste. ”
“Is that what Talbot told you?” I wheeze at Hudson. “That he almost got killed? You all afraid of a bunch of half-senile, half-blind little old ladies?”
“Talbot said you blew up a fishing dinghy with enough TNT to take out an aircraft carrier. It was a fucking disaster.”
“That wasn’t me, and he wasn’t even there.”
“Well, you’re blacklisted for the next eight months. All of you. Collective punishment.”
“It was my idea.” Crawford smirks. “Came to tell you in person.”
The Wynter brothers do hits only for special clients. Mainly, they do corporate espionage.
This is… not ideal.
Crawford is smug. “Guess you’ll have to be nice to me if you want my security company to fill in the gaps.”
Salinger’s cheeks hollow. Just like Dad.
“You’re reckless and dangerous,” Salinger says, his voice like thunder.
“You’re the one who hired that PR princess.” I’m finally able to shove Crawford off me.
“I wouldn’t have to if you’d act like an adult.”
“This is her fault.”
“Fine, I’ll fire her and hire a new one,” my brother says dismissively.
Wait, wait, wait, get rid of Jenna? So I’m not able to keep an eye on her?
“ No. ”
“ No? ” Salinger goes quiet.
Crawford and even Hudson Wynter look at me with interest.
“I don’t want to start over on a new PR plan.” The excuse is lame .
“Hn.” My older brother regards me.
It’s silent for a moment, then Hudson drawls, “Talbot said he stole a bunch of those girl’s panties and has them in a box under his bed.”
“ Motherfuck— ”
Jenna is reckless and dangerous.
I’m rational.
I pace in my blessedly empty penthouse—what was I even thinking, wishing I had company?
I should take Salinger up on the offer to fire Jenna. She’s bad for me. She’s distracting—her and her dog and the senior citizen fan club and her exes.
She’s probably getting fucked by Time-Share Ratface with his hot-dog-sized dick.
Or…
Or, what if she’s in danger right this very moment ? What if she’s locked in the trunk of his car?
“Then it’s her problem,” I tell the empty penthouse. I’ve offered to help her, gotten my brothers mad at me for helping her. If she wants to ruin her life and get back with her ex, that’s her problem.
But…
But I can’t actually leave her with him. I know he’s dangerous, even if Jenna won’t admit it.
She needs me. She won’t acknowledge it, but she does.
“I don’t need her, and I won’t save her.”
I watch my dinner heat up in the microwave.
All I can think about is the way she looked when I found her limping along the side of the road, how scared she was, the fear in her eyes, then the sob of relief when she realized it was me. The way she squeezed me tight and how trusting she was when I wrapped her carefully in my jacket.
I slam my fist into the microwave.
“Why is she doing this to me?”
The microwave has a dent in it now, and the door is smashed. It makes upset beeping noises until I rip it out of the wall.
I lean against the counter, the heels of my hands digging into my eye sockets, trying to banish the image of Jenna and her ex sitting close together side by side in that booth, her practically in his lap.
As long as she’s happy.
“ As long as she’s happy? ”
Fuck that. I don’t want her to be happy with him.
She claimed she was happy with Nathan, and look how that turned out. She needs to be shown that she’s wrong.
I already have a file on her exes started, and I memorize Andreas’s address, mapping out the quickest way to his apartment as I grab my motorcycle gear.
Jenna’s not staying with him; she’s coming back with me. I’m going to lock her up here until I make her see reason.
My bike is gleaming and black in the dark of the parking deck. My footfalls echo in the concrete parking garage as I pass by one of my SUVs, the window Jenna broke freshly repaired.
A light flashes inside the car. There are scuffling noises.
I peer in the tinted window…