Chapter 57
Scarlett
Three Months Later
I shuffle to the kitchen for coffee, walking past the fireplace with a sheet over it. I would take the fireplace down, but I haven’t gotten around to it. I hate looking at it, though. A reminder of someone I lost. It’s not the best way to start the day.
Our breakup was so sudden. I guess I’m waiting to see if he’ll come around again. Everything was going well, until it wasn’t.
I tried calling him after we broke up. He never answered or called me back.
If he did answer, what would change? Nothing.
He would still be in Texas, and I would still be trying to hang onto my life in Washington.
I knew when we met this wouldn’t end well between us.
He left me, just like my mom up and left.
He didn’t give me a second thought, proving how I shouldn’t have ever let him in.
I want to forget about him. I should forget about him.
But it’s harder than it seems. Matt was the first person I thought I could actually have a life with.
I was going to do anything I could to hang onto him until it came down to making choices.
I could’ve given up everything and left for him, but that’s not me.
I’m not going to leave my business and friends hanging .
I made the decision not to be with Matt; I had a little control. Lana had no choice, no closure. I finally understand why it’s taken her so long to fall out of love with an asshole.
I try to distract myself. At work, I can always find something I can do.
The gym looks like a whole new property.
We’ve added a childcare station in the front where the offices used to be, there’s a balance of cardio and weight machines, and we have a black, modern desk in the entry area, complete with a scanning bar.
There are mirrors, glass, or windows wherever you look.
We were also able to add more fitness class areas.
The gym has acquired several new clients over the past few months and is thriving once again.
The previous owners keep in touch and are thrilled with the progress we’ve made.
I stay at the gym as long as I can because once I go home, I have time to think.
I always end up thinking about him and if I made the right decision or not.
It doesn’t help that everywhere around here makes me think of all the good times we had together.
I didn’t work with him at the gym too long, so I can manage being there, but everywhere else is hard.
I want to see him cooking in my kitchen.
I want to see him on a hike. I want to see him in my bed.
It’s apparent he isn’t there and he isn’t coming back.
I can’t believe I’m this girl. The girl who falls apart because a guy has left her life. It’s what I was trying to avoid. So much for that plan.
I go to work and come home at the last possible minute. I sleep and dream about him. Then I wake up, go to the gym, come home, and pass out. I can’t remember the last time I did something fun.
My friends have tried to pull me out of this funk, but it was the same with Lana; we could never get her to feel better. It sort of happens when it happens. It’s all about time.
Maybe one day I’ll be able to wake up and decide I have to move on. I have to get it in my head that he isn’t coming back. I have to accept that decision.
I go to the fireplace and tear off the sheet. Then I lift it off the wall. It’s heavy, but I manage to get it into a closet. I put the sheet back over it and slam the door.
Matt’s not coming back; stop pining over him.
After getting ready, I head to my favorite café before work.
I’m trying to change my routine to improve my thoughts.
I need to interact with people. My life hasn’t ended.
It’s been three months, and Matt left. No matter how much I hope he’ll return, he’s made it apparent he’s done. It’s time to move on.
I walk through the doors and swear Matt is walking by the windows on the other side of the café.
I shake my head; it couldn’t have been him.
He’s gone. Maybe it’s too soon to be out on the town.
I’ve become delusional due to my lack of sleep.
Matt needs to stop interrupting my dreams. It’s annoying.
I walk the short distance to the gym and go to my desk. I share an office with Jason and trainers are popping in and out all day, so I don’t think much of the red roses on the desk. They could be for anybody.