Chapter 63
Scarlett
Matt pulls up to the sidewalk. Before he can get to the door, I start walking towards him down my long pathway.
He’s out of the car when he notices me. “I was going to meet you at your door.” He twitches his wrist. Then he clears his throat and straightens his back. “It’s nice to see you. Let me get the car door for you.”
I give a sarcastic grin and step inside the car. “Thank you.”
Once he’s in his seat, he reaches for my knee before he catches his hand and pulls it away. This isn’t awkward or anything.
The drive to the restaurant is quiet. I choose to not make any conversation. Since Matt doesn’t say much, there’s not a lot going on in here. He pulls up to park near the restaurant in downtown. The sun has gone down. It’s winter in Washington, and the nights are cold and rainy.
I have a trench coat on, with ankle boots and black skinny slacks. It’s what I would wear to a business meeting. I’m playing this out in a professional manner.
I decided against wearing the necklace he gave me. I don’t want him thinking I’ve been pining after him and will jump right back into his arms.
Matt is showing me he’s trying. He’s showing me he misses me. But I want more. I want to be one thousand percent sure I can talk to him, rely on him, and be my own person. I need him to understand.
He’s at my door in one second flat, offering his hand as he helps me out of the car. He walks a little in front of me and opens the door to the restaurant, Tony’s .
The hostess greets us and takes us to our table. No one else is around in the vicinity.
My curiosity gets the better of me. “Did you rent out the restaurant again?”
“I want us to have privacy.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. He still hasn’t gotten the memo he’s worth more than his money. We could’ve talked in the car. We could’ve gone on a hike to talk. We could’ve just had a conversation at one of our places.
This is formal. The white tablecloths, the candles on the tables, the low lighting.
It’s not lost on me that our table is the only one with red roses.
Matt never says what he’s thinking; you have to read between the lines.
I’m seeing he cares for me. I’m seeing he wants us to be together.
I need to hear it, though. I need to know why he wouldn’t talk to me after he left. I need to hear how he feels.
“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” he begins. “Would you like something to drink first?”
At least he’s letting me choose. “I’m fine with water.” There are water glasses filled on the table already. I want to be sober and professional for this dinner.
He takes a big drink of water. No waiter has dropped by. I think he may already have an agreement with them. They won’t come over until he calls for them.
“Do you want anything to eat?”
“I don’t know what I’ll be able to stomach.” I cross my arms across my chest. “Why don’t you get to the point. What did you want to tell me, but couldn’t say in a letter? ”
He twists his wrist with the watch on it. He’s nervous.
Good.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry for how I left. As you’ve seen, I don’t like losing control, but it happens. Actually, it only happens around you. You always speak your mind and tell me the truth. I’m still surprised when you do that. I can’t keep it together around you.”
I feel the same way.
“I can’t always be perfect. I can’t always react the right way.
I apologize for walking out on you so abruptly.
I apologize for not taking your calls. I thought a clean breakup would make it easy to get over you, and I was mad you didn’t want to be with me.
By the time I figured out you wanted to be with me and were trying to talk to me about needing more time, I felt like I waited too long to pick up the phone and call you. I needed to talk to you in person.”
He pauses and flicks his wrist again. Then he takes a drink of water. It’s hard for him to communicate his feelings. He can show them well, but sometimes you need to say things too.
“I haven’t had much practice in the relationship field, as you know. I know I didn’t react well. I found out I could never forget you, and I didn’t want to be without you. I couldn’t move on from you.”
I’m waiting for more. I want to hear more. In fact, I could listen to him talk about me all night. He doesn’t open up like this. I want to know every feeling he has.
“I knew it would be a while before I got approval from Grant to make any moves out here. I got to the point where I couldn’t wait anymore.
I rented out one of the offices available in Lakebrook’s downtown.
I was hoping to bump into you so I could see you again.
I was hoping to show you I could make changes for you.
I’d do anything for you. I promise that. ”
I still don’t say anything. Another flick of his wrist.
“I realize I gave you no notice before moving back to Texas. You had a week to wrap things up with work, which wasn’t enough time.
I was so caught up in the vision of us in Texas as soon as possible, and you didn’t tell me you needed help with anything at the gym; I assumed the entire time you would be moving out with me. ”
I have to speak up. “You were supposed to be here for at least two more months.”
“I understand. Let me finish.” He pauses, looking for reassurance.
“Go ahead.”
“I would’ve hoped you could talk to me about daily issues going on in your life.
I want to be there for you. I want to help you in any way I possibly can.
I want to be your full support in any situation.
That, for me, usually means paying for things, but I wanted it to be different with you.
I wanted you to be comfortable enough to talk to me.
I can pay for things easily. I can listen to you easily.
“I haven’t met someone who wants to do things on their own all the time.
I love that about you. I’m also used to being the one who makes the decisions.
I want you to let me help you, though. You have so much resistance when I do things for you, like you’ll owe me.
You don’t owe me anything, to be clear. I want to do it. ”
I open my mouth to speak, but he stops me.
“Hold on, let me finish.” He waits until I close my mouth.
“I’m staying here. I won’t get involved, unless you want me to.
Please know, I would help you with anything you needed.
Financially, mentally, physically, whatever.
I want you to be the independent women you are, but I want you to know you don’t have to be alone.
We could choose to be in this together. I’m okay with you setting your own timeline until you’re ready to go with me to Texas.
Hell, I’ll stop ordering for you if it means I can get another chance with you. ”
Another flick of his wrist. “I moved back out here in hopes of starting over with you again. I have another project I can get started on, and I set up my office. I did it so I could be with you. I want to be with you. I love you. If you don’t want to be with me, I’ll drop the project, pay the lease until the end of the year, and move back to Texas.
You won’t ever hear from me again. I’d really like you to be my girlfriend again, Scarlett.
I want to stay and be with you. What do you think? ”