Chapter 23 #2
‘Loyalty. You mightn’t know this, but Peter is loyal to a fault. I’ve said it to him, those boys of hers calling him Dad . . . I don’t want to be harsh, and I can see how he wanted to do it, but sure . . . some things you can’t be told, you have to find out for yourself.’
Ally met her gaze and nodded. What reams of fabulous advice had washed over her own head as she’d ploughed into disaster? ‘Well, that’s for sure.’
The rest of the morning was spent wandering around the farmyard, scratching the goats behind the ears and trying to stop Patsy annoying the hens, although they seemed to consider themselves his seniors and strutted past him unconcerned.
Ally felt a bond with this strong, fearless woman, a million miles from her own cossetted mother.
Kathleen had needed to be both father and mother in a harsh, unforgiving time – and how lonely that must have been.
As they were leaving, she hugged Ally warmly and said, ‘Come back and see me again soon, won’t ye?’
She was vaguely aware of a look passing behind her back between mother and son, but she somehow didn’t feel left out.
* * *
‘She liked you,’ remarked Pete, as the scenery rushed past them in the fading light. ‘And she doesn’t like everyone.’
‘I really liked her, you know. I got the feeling she’d like to see more of you.’
He huffed in acknowledgement.
‘You’re different up there, d’you know that? More yourself.’ OK, just go for it, she told herself. ‘So . . . did Tanya and the boys like it up there?’ She could feel a shift in Pete’s body language, a defensiveness.
‘Tanya went once; it’s not really her sort of place. The boys just wanted to play computer games.’ God, he was so fucking careful – when was he going to open up?
‘Pete, do you mind if I ask you about Tanya?’
‘Ask away.’ He shrugged.
‘Why did you two split up? Was it just because of the money or . . . other reasons?’
She knew this could all blow up horribly in her face, but at this stage, what the hell had she to lose? She was in no man’s land anyway.
‘When I met Tanya, she was . . . She was actually with Tony, but things were always . . . rocky between them. They’re far too alike. And no, they’re not his kids either. So, they split . . . finally and we got together, so that was . . . complicated. He always said he was fine about us, but . . .’
Wow, a love triangle – this woman must be really something.
‘That sounds pretty intense. Did it not affect your friendship?’
‘No.’
‘Really?’
‘It changed it a bit, I suppose . . . I mean, he’d been more like a brother to me than my own brothers, but afterwards . . . it wasn’t the same. I missed him. If I’m being honest, I still do.’
‘Even after everything he did?’
Pete shrugged. ‘I know, it doesn’t make sense, but there you are.’ He paused. ‘I hadn’t really thought about that until now. And thank you for coming today. I’m sorry I went off and left you.’
‘Was that intentional?’ She looked sidelong at him. He didn’t reply but did his smile-huff.
‘Pete, why won’t you just freaking talk to me? I mean, what’s going on? Am I just your pal or your van DJ or what?’
By now they were heading towards the outskirts of the city, where streetlights were beginning to blink into life in long orange necklaces.
‘I really like you, Ally.’
‘But? There’s a but in there . . .’
‘What have I got to offer you? I have nothing. This van is my life right now.’
‘Pete . . . that’s not . . . important.’
‘If you really think that, I’m sorry but you’re being na?ve.’
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time that accusation had been levelled at her. She’d heard it constantly when growing up.
‘Sorry, Ally, that sounded . . . not how I meant. I didn’t mean to be rude.’
‘Well, I think you’re being totally na?ve, Pete.
Because people’s circumstances can change, it’s not who they are.
And it sounds like a lot of the people around you saw wealth and success as the only markers of worth.
And that’s not me. And I’m not a fool, but if you think that’s na?ve, then you’re probably right.
And you’re entitled to your opinion. Anyhow, thank you for inviting me today to meet your mother – for what it’s worth, I think she’s lovely. ’
There was a tightly packed silence in the van for the rest of the journey until finally, to Ally’s relief, they pulled up to her apartment.
‘Ally, I’m sorry about what I said, that’s on me.
What you saw today with Mam . . . She’s in a really good place, but it wasn’t always like that.
I’ve built a lot and I’ve been able to provide for her, and I’m proud of that.
’ He glanced out into the darkness. ‘But if I were with you . . . I’d want to be able to buy you things, bring you places, look after you, and if I can’t do that . . .’
‘Pete?’
‘What?’
‘Shut up. You’re an idiot.’
She reached out and touched the side of his face.
He pulled her towards him, cupping her face in his hands, as though she were something precious, and kissed her as though for the first time, as though they were teenagers.
Suddenly, a beam of headlights panned across the van and Patsy woke up and whined.
‘Perfect timing.’
‘I’d better go.’
‘Wait . . .’ His expression was unguarded in a way she’d never seen him. Every part of her wanted to stay in this moment, safe in his arms.
‘I’ll wait to see that you get inside safely,’ he said prosaically and her heart sank.
So maybe that was her fate, for happiness to be tantalisingly close but always just out of reach. Like the stars from a sparkler, once you tried to touch them, they vanished.
‘See you tomorrow, Pete.’
She climbed out and heard the van door closing behind her like a full stop.
* * *
She’d just stumbled through her front door in a daze, when her phone beeped.
OMG RU THERE? HAVE NEWS!!!
Just in
Instantly, the phone rang. Crap . . . she’d wanted to luxuriate in Pete’s kiss a bit longer.
‘You will not fecking believe it . . .’
‘What?’
‘You know the Tadpole? Well, she isn’t a tadpole at all, she’s a big fucking frog.’
‘Rosemarie, what are you on about?’
‘I always knew there was something off about her . . .’
‘Don’t tell me you went on one of your weird internet searches?’
‘Yes. In a word, I did. Remember that selfie I took back in The Owl’s Nest? Well, I have an app where I can do a facial recognition sweep.’
‘Stop! I really don’t think I want to know.’
‘No. You do. And . . . wait for it . . . She is not who she says she is. Fleur isn’t her real name, surprise, surprise. And she’s not twenty-four, she’s thirty-one!’
‘No shit?’
‘And she’s been married before . . . twice!’
‘No! So . . . who . . . what . . . how? God, I’m not making any sense . . .’
‘I saw the pictures: one big wedding in Scotland, one in Spain. Plus, they’ve both been wealthy guys, and she’s got a big fuck-off divorce settlement from each of them.’
‘No . . .’
‘She’s a professional bride. A fraudster. Flesh-coloured tights? Dead giveaway.’
‘Come on, Rosemarie, plenty of people wear flesh-coloured tights.’
‘But on a Saturday?’
‘OK, I’ll grant you that. Listen, d’you think Francis knows? I mean . . . it’s shocking. I feel awful for him. She deliberately targeted him as a good catch, plus, between ourselves, he’s due an inheritance . . .’
‘Ah, don’t be soft, sure he was lapping it up . . . Anyway, he’s been trying to get you, so I’d say he knows.’
Hopefully, he did – the thought of having to break it to him was awful.
‘Anyhow, never mind about that. Do you think Pete would lend us the van?’
‘Erm, if I begged him . . . I’d say so.’
‘Great. That’s all that matters. See you at the balloon shop at five thirty tomorrow. Bye.’
Ally fed the baby fish, then the grown-ups, and then sat on the floor and thought back over the day .
. . About Kathleen and how they’d warmed to each other.
About the kiss in the van, and her feeling as though the rest of the world had vanished and all they had in that moment was each other – and how that felt like more than she’d ever hoped to find.