Chapter 11 #2
“So you like it slow, huh?” He suddenly plunges his fingers deep again without waiting for me.
They move back out, keeping my pace from before, and I focus on the sensation, which feels different somehow, better even, with him controlling it.
Maybe because of the way he’s crooking his fingertips so that they drag against every sensitive nerve on the way back out. “Is this what you want?”
“Yes. Yes.”
“Is this all you want? Because I am happy to finger fuck you till kingdom come, Mill, but—”
“Your cock,” I gasp. “I want your cock inside me.”
“God, yes,” he groans. “I was really hoping you’d say that.”
I’m desperately aware of how empty I feel when he removes his hand from inside my underwear and rolls out from under me.
His dark silhouette hurries to the armchair, where his duffel still sits.
“It’s really freakin’ dark in here,” he says absently as he digs through his bag.
“But I have an entire box somewh—ah-ha. You best be naked for me by the time I get back to that bed, Millicent.”
“Way ahead of you.” My voice comes out breathy, and I’m pleased at how sexy I sound when I’m pretty sure I’m just hyperventilating a little.
I hear him tear open the box, cursing under his breath when it initially resists, and the barely-there sound of the foil ripping.
It’s impossible to see him shed his clothes and unroll the condom onto his erection, but just the thought of it is enough to make me ache with need.
The mattress dips, and Hollis’s warmth returns beside me. “You’re sure about this?” he asks.
I nod.
“Millicent, it’s very dark. I need words.”
“I’m sure. I want you. I’ve wanted you for...” I have no idea if it’s currently Friday or Saturday, so I settle on the less specific but still accurate “for days.”
“Good, then we have something in common. Come here.” His arm snakes around my waist, and he grabs a handful of my bare ass.
My mouth finds his again after a brief detour along his shoulder and up his neck, and Hollis rolls on top of me.
He threads our fingers and presses our joined hands into the pillow.
When a bolt of lightning gives the room a momentary glow, I watch for him to tense up, for his eyes to clamp shut like before.
But they remain open, trained on my face.
“You’re gorgeous,” he says. “So gorgeous.” And he kisses me deeply as he slides inside me, inch by incredible inch.
When I’ve taken him in completely, he bites his lower lip and groans as he makes a few exploratory movements. “God. You feel good. So damn good.”
Josh used to say things like that to me before he drilled his dick into me with absolutely no regard for what I wanted or needed.
You’re so warm and tight, how do you expect me to hold back, Millie?
Or I can’t slow down when you feel this good, Millie.
As hard as I try to banish my ex-boyfriend from my head, I wince at Hollis’s words.
My body tenses out of habit, preparing itself to take whatever’s given.
Hollis stills above me. “Hey,” he says. “You good?”
I’m speechless for a moment as I register his question. Hollis is paying such close attention to my body that he can feel my thoughts? “Yeah, I just... I haven’t done this in a while.”
“Don’t worry. I’m a pro.”
I want to laugh, to joke about how “pro” is probably not the right word here unless he’s got a side hustle he hasn’t told me about yet. But before I can make a sound, he ducks his head and sucks my nipple into his mouth at the same time he withdraws almost all the way. I gasp instead.
His grin is devilish when he looks back at me before moving to the other nipple. Just enough of his cock is still inside me to make me aware that I want it all, and I grab his ass to pull him back, urging him closer.
Hollis’s hot breath skims over my neck and tickles my ear.
As he looks into my eyes, seeing me through the dark—really seeing me—I wonder if casual sex is always so.
.. romantic. Maybe all good sex is on some level, and I just haven’t experienced enough of it to know.
I’ll have to ask Dani later; she has more experience with these things.
Right now, I need to focus on the way Hollis is hitting just the right spot with each slow thrust and retreat, lighting me up like an expert pinball player going for the high score on his favorite machine.
This needs to be about sensations, not about feelings. I know that much at least.
I’m still clutching his ass, and digging my nails in a bit, which he seems to like since he moans when I do it harder. I explore up his back, testing different pressures and places until I find a spot on his shoulder blades that makes him momentarily falter. “Shit,” he says.
“Good or bad?”
“Good. So good.”
“You can go faster,” I say, a bit annoyed with myself for how much I enjoy his praise. “If you need to. I can take it.”
He stares down at me for a moment. “I would love to take you hard and fast, Mill, don’t get me wrong.
If you want me to go faster, I will. But.
.. but I can tell you like it like this, the same pace you set when you fucked yourself with my fingers.
This is how you like it tonight, isn’t it?
This is what’s going to make you come for me? ”
He thrusts back into me and drags out again, slow enough for me to savor the friction.
All I manage is a little whining sound in the back of my throat.
“I love the way you whimper a little every time I move into you, like you were losing your mind waiting for me. In fact...” Hollis stops moving his hips, refusing to thrust deeper. “I think you might like being teased a little.”
“No,” I protest. “I want... I want you to... Dammit. Please.”
“Wrap your legs around me,” he whispers.
And I obey. Of course I obey. Because Hollis is turning out to be the exact opposite of Josh in bed. I know I’m too trusting in general so it’s not saying much, but I trust him completely, and I want to go anywhere he’ll take me because I’m so certain he’ll only take me places he knows I’ll like.
My legs pull him deep and restrict his movement enough that he can’t leave me again.
He sets a new pace, faster but not hard, his fingers working between us and his cock stroking that perfect spot over and over and over while his lips press against mine until I come hard, trembling, gasping into his mouth.
I tighten my legs around his back and dig my nails into his shoulders.
He comes deep inside my body, muttering a long string of profanity that certainly has all twenty-five Jesuses glaring at us (if they weren’t already).
As soon as he’s recovered his wits, Hollis reaches between us to ensure the condom remains in place as he pulls out and topples over beside me on the bed. My heartbeat is loud inside my skull, the only thing I hear except our heavy breathing.
“I think the storm’s over,” I say.
“Oh. Right. I...” He releases a small huff of laughter. “I forgot all about it. Thanks for... God, thanks for that.” His hand finds my hip and gives me a light pat of appreciation, then settles into a hypnotic back-and-forth rhythm over the skin there.
“Well. Now you know that there is something that helps. For next time.”
“Mm,” he says.
“Guess I’ll have to sleep with you every night for the rest of your life, just in case the weather turns.
” As soon as the words leave my mouth, all of the tension Hollis helped me shed jolts back into my muscles.
His hand stills on my hip. “That was a joke,” I say in a hurry.
“Not a funny one, though. Don’t worry. I understand—that is, I know that you—that I—we aren’t—”
His mouth is on mine in the next instant, sweet and warm. He kisses me until my body goes languid again, forcing my mind to follow suit.
“I had fun,” he says. “Did you have fun?”
“Yes.” Actually, “fun” seems like an incredible understatement for what I had, but it’s impossible to formulate a more accurate description at the moment.
“Good.” He makes a quiet, throaty sound as he removes the condom. “Do you want the bathroom first or second?”
“First.” My toes find the rug and my feet drop the extra inch with a thud. After I locate my discarded T-shirt and underwear pretty much by feel alone since the power still isn’t back on, I move to the bathroom door, tripping over the rug on the way.
Inside the windowless bathroom, I stare into the mirror, even though it’s much too dark to see my reflection.
I wonder what this version of myself looks like, the Millie who has spontaneous sex with her gruff traveling companion.
Based on what I can feel, all I can tell is that she has really disheveled hair.
I’m relieved Hollis didn’t let me keep rambling on, making everything worse.
At the same time, I’m aware that the reason he knew how to keep me calm is because he’s probably been in this exact situation countless times before.
He knows how to maintain his postcoital cool.
Because what was earth-shattering for me was just another Friday night for him.
In fact, if luck were on his side, he would have been with Yeva tonight instead of with me.
I’m sure Yeva is never awkward after sex.
She seems so self-possessed and sophisticated.
Shit. Yeva. Have I broken some part of the unwritten Lady Code by sleeping with Hollis when they had a sex appointment on the books?
Another thing I have to run by Dani. Then again, Dani was the one telling me to go for it in the first place, so maybe this is within the bounds of acceptable.
And if it wasn’t, Hollis is the one who should have known that and not started kissing me in the first place. Right?
Ugh. I thought the point of keeping things casual was that it was supposed to be less complicated.
“Hey,” I say, pointing to the mirror in reproach even though I can only make out a vague outline of my head. “You knew what you were getting into. This is what you wanted. Now stop freaking out and go pee so you don’t get a UTI.”
When I leave the bathroom, Hollis is a shadowy figure sitting on the edge of the bed. He grabs my wrist as I pass by and pulls me over.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah, I’m... I’m great.” Especially great now that his warm skin is against mine again and the wiry hair of his thighs is tickling my bare legs.
“Are you sure? I heard you talking to yourself in there.”
“I wasn’t talking to myself,” I say.
“Who were you talking to then?”
“Uh. Someone else?”
“Someone else is in our bathroom?” His hand finds my jaw and his thumb brushes over my bottom lip. “Hmm. You’re awful calm about that.”
“You know me,” I say. “Friendly to a fault.”
He stands and kisses me softly. “Nothing’s changed between us, Millicent. You don’t need to overthink this.”
“I know. I know.”
“Good.” He plants a kiss on my palm before releasing my wrist. The sweetness of the gesture only confuses me further.
Once he’s in the bathroom, I tuck myself into the lavender-and-sex-scented sheets and reach for my phone. It’s 2:42 am , which means Dani is definitely still awake. Probably just finished up her shift at the New York City hotel bar where she works.
MILLIE: I had sex with Hollis.
DANI: Get it giiiiirrrlll.
DANI: How was it???
MILLIE: Sort of... amazing.
DANI:
MILLIE: Except I don’t know what to do now. I’ve never done the casual thing before.
DANI: What you do now is him, as often as possible until the end of your trip.
MILLIE: He’s on his way to have sex with someone else though.
DANI: Aren’t many of us when you truly think about it?
MILLIE: Are you high?
DANI: Extremely.
High Dani’s advice tends to be too philosophical to be immediately useful.
Besides, I hear the bathroom door opening, and I don’t need Hollis to know I’m panic texting my cousin about what we did.
I shove the phone under my pillow, turn onto my side, and channel all of my long-dormant acting skills to feign sleep until it actually arrives.