Chapter Forty-Two
FORTY-TWO
Aidan
“Hey, man. You okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” I don’t even bother to look up from my computer at Jason.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him looking at me from his desk.
“You sure? You’ve been pretty closed off lately.”
I finally glance up. “I’ve just been caught up in work. Sorry.”
Lie. I’m heartbroken over losing Micah. But I’m not going to tell Jason that. He doesn’t know that we were together. When we started seeing each other outside of work, we agreed to keep things a secret. Her sister and my dad and brother ended up finding out about us, but no one else needs to know.
Jason frowns at me, like he’s studying me. “You know, when Micah wrapped things up and finally left, I thought you’d be happy. But you weren’t. You actually seemed kind of upset.”
I glance away, too uncomfortable at how my best friend is staring at me. I can’t keep looking him in the eye and lying to him.
“Yeah, well. That audit kind of screwed with my head.”
“Did it?”
I glance up at Jason, surprised at the hitch in his voice. “Was something going on between you and Micah?”
I blink at him, surprised at how quickly he put that together.
I clear my throat. “Yeah.”
Jason nods, a solemn look on his face. I glance up at our office door to make sure it’s closed.
“I kind of suspected you two had a thing,” Jason says after a moment. “Kendall did too.”
“You did?”
He nods. “You and Micah were at each other’s throats until that night you got stranded here during the blizzard together. After that we noticed you two didn’t fight anymore. We figured you worked out your differences.”
He tilts his head at me. I huff out a breath. “Yeah, you could say that.”
I think about that night with Micah. It was hot as hell, just like every other time we were together. But that’s not why I miss her.
I swallow through the tightness in my throat and that ache in my chest that’s plagued me ever since we ended things.
I miss her smile. The most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. I miss that gleam in her mahogany eyes whenever she got excited about something. I miss the way she let me cuddle her when we fell asleep together. I miss her smell. I still don’t even know the name of her perfume—I never bothered to ask—but god, it was intoxicating. I miss the way she moans when she takes her first sip of coffee. I miss seeing her wearing my clothes. I miss sending her messages on Scribble Share.
I give Jason a brief rundown of what happened between us. “We ran into her boss at Liam’s hockey game the other night. She made it clear that she was planning to recommend staff cuts to our department. I got upset. She did too. I told her my feelings for her, but she didn’t feel the same way, so we ended it.”
Jason frowns, his expression pained. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”
When I take a breath, there’s a sharpness in the center of my chest. It feels like someone rammed their fist into my heart.
“It wasn’t going to work out anyway. How could I have stayed with someone who was trying to put me and all my friends out of work?”
Jason nods, the look on his face still sad.
Just then our work email alert sounds off. We both turn to our computers and click on the message that Dr. Wauncho just sent us.
Mandatory staff meeting at 11 a.m.
I frown. That’s weird.
“Did you know we were having a last-minute meeting today?” I ask Jason. He says no.
We gather our things and head to the conference room. Once we’re all settled, Dr. Wauncho shuts the door and stands at the front.
He claps his hands together. “Everyone. I’ve got some strange but exciting news. I’m sure you all remember when Ms. Mila was here conducing her audit.”
I jolt at hearing Micah’s name.
“I was just informed that she refused to submit her audit.”
“She did what?” I blurt.
He chuckles. “Believe me, I was quite surprised to find that out as well.”
“What happened?” Jason asks.
Dr. Wauncho shrugs and shakes his head. “I’m not quite sure. All I was told is that she refused to submit an audit, then promptly resigned from her position at the firm.”
I sit there, stunned. Micah quit her job? Over auditing our department? But she told me she was going to submit her report…
“The university determined that the audit failed and was a waste of school money, so they’ve decided to stop with the audit of school for the time being. Now, we’re not totally in the clear. The university might decide to do another audit next year or the year after. But as of now, we’re no longer on the chopping block!”
Everyone cheers. Except for me. I’m still too shocked to speak.
Chatter fills the room. Kendall asks a question I don’t hear.
Dr. Wauncho chuckles. “I’m not quite sure what happened, but I like to think Micah was charmed and impressed by our department, so much so that it led to her having a change of heart.”
Jason turns to me and gives me a look. “Looks like your lady changed her mind.” He hops up from his chair and walks over to Kendall. The whole room is buzzing. Everyone is relieved and thrilled.
I am too. Micah saved us. She went against her job and saved our department.
I shake my head in disbelief.
Just then my phone buzzes with an alert. I look and see it’s from Scribble Share. I pull up the app on my phone and skim the notifications. I’ve been tagged in a new post written by Hot4Hermia.
My heart skids in my chest.
I stand up from where I’m sitting and head out of the noisy conference room back to my office. I sit at my desk, pull up the post, and start reading. It’s a continuation of that enemies-to-lovers erotica between two professors that Micah has been writing.
I look him in the eye, every single one of my nerves firing off inside of me.
“I made the worst mistake of my life when I let you leave instead of telling you how I feel about you. So here I am, right now, telling you how I feel.
“I love you. So, so much. I love the way you hold me tight when you hug me. I love the gentle way you cradle my face when you kiss me. I love how you have to be hugging me to fall asleep. I love how you believe in me. No one else has ever made me feel as safe or as loved as you. I even love fighting with you. You fight with me because you care. Because you want to fight for us and what we have.”
My eyes burn. Tears threaten to fall down my cheeks. I blink quickly in an attempt to hold them back. But then I tell myself I shouldn’t do that. This pain and regret coursing through me is how I really feel. And I’m tired of hiding my feelings from him. I want to show him everything.
When I blink, tears stream down my face.
“I was wrong to doubt us. You were right. It doesn’t matter that we haven’t been together very long. All that matters is how we feel. And when I’m with you, I’m the happiest. You feel like home.”
I take a second to swallow and take a breath. “I know I’m probably too late telling you this. I know you’re probably still hurt and angry. And that’s okay. You have every right to be. I just needed to tell you how I feel. Even if you don’t want me anymore, that’s okay. I’ll always love you. And I’ll always regret that I let you walk away without fighting for you.”
I stand there, holding my breath, and wait for him to say something.
I reach the end of Micah’s post, my chest aching and my heart hammering in my chest. She wrote this for me. I focus on the three words that I still can’t believe she wrote for me.
I love you.
She’s sorry and she loves me. My heart hammers so hard, my chest starts to ache.
Micah loves me.
My body is buzzing and my head is spinning as I soak in her words.
I do a quick skim of the comments.
I’m ugly crying. That was heart-wrenching and amazing!
I need more tissues!
brB gonna go cry in my car so my coworkers don’t see
OMG SO DAMN GOOD
Not a cliffhanger! Noooo! I need to know what he says to her!
Why can’t people apologize like this in real life? If they did, it would be sooo much easier to forgive lol
Oh damn, do you think Hot4Hermia and ShakespeareInLust are having a fight in in real life? Do you think Hermia is trying to apologize??
My pulse kicks up as I zero in on that comment. I want to leave a comment on Micah’s story…but that would mean everyone on the app would know that we’re a couple. Am I okay with readers knowing that about us? We’ve kept that to ourselves up to this point…
But then I realize, I don’t care. I want everyone to know how I feel about Micah.
I type a comment on the post.
Hey. You’re not too late. I love you too.