Chapter 35
The ground falls away so fast my stomach drops.
Snow-covered trees and jagged mountain peaks grow smaller with each frantic beat of Líri’s wings, my grip on her tendrils the only thing keeping me from another plummet of doom.
I groan, coming to the stark realization that I should’ve let go the moment she started lifting off the ground. Risked my chances with the Moltenmaws. Now I’m dangling from a saddleless dragon while she powers toward the clouds.
My hands begin to cramp, the pain traveling up my forearms, into my elbows. Surging with such intensity I know it’s only a matter of time before I lose grip.
“Shit …”
Teeth gritted, I focus on trying to find a reliable place to settle my feet, glancing beneath my armpit. See the buds of Líri’s wings are close enough to press my toes against.
Hoping she doesn’t swing around and rip off my head, I settle one foot in place … the other …
Not a flinch.
The footholds allow me to find my center of gravity. To adjust my stance every time Líri thrashes her wings, charging through the clouds in surging blasts.
We punch free, into the powdery rays shafting off the distant sun.
A soft moment before Líri tosses her head and blows a blast of blue flame coupled with a mighty roar.
The busty sound tapers into an adolescent honk the moment her flame snips, and she tilts, cutting parallel with the burnished cloud cover—wing motions smooth and swift.
Flying south with the speed and poise of a tossed blade.
Like she’s bolting from the scene … or darting straight for Netheryn.
Creators, I hope not.
Wind snags my braid as I lift my head the slightest amount and squint forward, seeing the sharp peak of a mountain directly ahead. Certainly a lesser evil, however hitting it at this speed might just fling me all the way to the wall if I don’t play this right.
I duck, tighten my grip, and clamp my teeth together moments before Líri lashes against the peak. Snow explodes from the force of our violent landing as my heart finds a new home wedged between my ribs.
Líri’s body tightens, her talons gouging into stone, steadying us. She flings her head forward and screeches to the sky—a keening wail that echoes on and on, finally whittling down into something sharp enough to bleed my fucking soul.
Her neck folds, head sinks.
Wings fall limp at her sides.
She heaves blasted breaths as gilded clouds churn beneath us, lapping at the mountain’s peak. Such gentle quiet in the wake of her sorrow that something twists in my chest.
I loosen my hand, reaching up with the intention to stroke her neck when she whips around, spinning so fast I’m forced to grab hold of her tendrils again just to avoid being flung loose.
Líri clambers along the ridge poking above the storm like a crooked spine, stone and snow crunching beneath her with each perilous step.
She comes to a flat plateau barely peeking above the haze, and her entire body tilts as she curls up, swoops her tail around herself, and tucks her head beneath her claw.
She pulls a deep breath and releases it with a low whine that tapers into a silence too heavy to breathe beneath.
She’s not okay …
With slow, cautious motions, I slide off her back and begin edging toward her head—
She shoves up and curls in the other direction, snapping her wing back, then forward again, almost knocking me off the plateau. The clearest nonverbal fuck off I’ve ever received.
Right.
I look around, hunting for somewhere sturdy to settle until I can work out my next move, when Kaan’s words echo in my mind …
Though some dragons lust for vengeance in the same way as a bloodlusting fae, others simply yearn to be loved.
Glancing over my shoulder, I see Líri still bound in a luminous knot, like she’s hiding from the world.
Reminded of the way Essi curled on the seater with her back to me while she bled to death, trying to hide her pain.
The way she faded in my arms while I wished with every bit of my being that I’d done more. Been more.
While I told her I loved her as a means of saying goodbye rather than—
Screw this.
I move closer, realizing I can’t get around Líri without potentially stepping off the plateau’s sharp, crumbly edge and into the clouds, risking another deathly plummet.
Something I have no intention of repeating anytime soon, or at least until Clode and I work through the kinks in our companionship.
My only option is to clamber over Líri—quietly begging her not to buck me into oblivion—just about to slide down into the crook of her coil when she groans, shifting again.
Holding position, I cling to her tendrils while staring out across the cloudy expanse, waiting for her to settle facing the other way. Wondering if this is how Kaan feels when I block him out.
Creators-bless that male for his unworldly amount of patience.
Feeling Líri’s breaths move through her body, I study the way her claw is curled over her face like a mask.
Like a shield.
Frowning, I recall the moment I broke down beneath the rainstorm in Dhomm, thinking of Kaan’s sturdy presence at my back. Of the way he wrapped around me while humming a song that pulled me back from the brink. That’s always helped me … no matter the circumstances.
No matter how cold and alone I’ve felt.
I stroke Líri’s hide as my calming song rises from the pit of my soul, up my throat, breezing past semi-smiling lips:
Liu ath na, juu ta ne guile no.
Too la too. Too la too …
Líri stiffens beneath me, then softens, like each slow word is kneading the knots from her muscles.
Quietly hopeful, I lift one leg and slide down her other side while moving into the next verse.
Liu ath na, juu ta ne guile no—
My boots hit the snow, relief coursing through me when she doesn’t move. Doesn’t roll or flick me through the sky.
Progress.
Eeah to ail. Eeah to ail.
Han dui garl, igath da se se marth …
I edge forward until I’m right beside her head. Perfectly placed to get blasted with flame if she suddenly decides she’s done with my presence. Without a doubt the second stupidest thing I’ve done this dae.
Eeah to ail. Eeah to ail.
Han dui garl, igath dain to ne …
Líri’s cold breaths huff against my knees as I plant them in the snow, my heart thrashing for release.
I’m good.
We’re good.
Tentatively, I raise both hands, exposing my palms to the frosty air emitting from her hide. Despite the low rumble brewing in the back of her throat, I wrap both hands around the large claw struck across her eyes and pull—hoping to shift it.
Urge her to look at me.
Growling like she’s contemplating the benefits of swatting me from her sight, she abides, but scrunches up her face, eyes so squeezed shut there’s only one message I can possibly derive:
She doesn’t trust me.
Justified. But I don’t need her trust, nor do I need her respect to sympathize with her pain.
I brush my thumbs along her pale lashes—slow. Gentle. “You miss your family, don’t you?”
It’s a quiet certainty that thrums between us. Familiar; like my soul recognizes the ache. Something that feels too heavy to inspect right now.
Líri stops rumbling.
Again, she lifts her claw. Again, I urge it down.
I drag my hand between her eyes, then rub slow circles over her snout. “I know I’ve let you down, and for that there’s no excuse,” I whisper, unsure if she comprehends my words. To counter it, I pour intention into every one, like I’m etching them into stone. “But you’re not alone, Líri …”
Her lids lift, just enough that I’m able to see dark scores beneath them. Like cracking open a door.
A thickness forms in my throat that’s hard to swallow past.
I splay my hands across her cheeks, her gaze seeming to trace the strange thread of silver light tangled around my wrist. “And you are so loved.”
Even Clode stills, like she’s arched close and listening, breath held, waiting for some sort of response.
Quiet prevails, buffered only by Líri’s huffed breaths and the distant rumble of a brewing storm.
Best not to push it.
Leaning forward, I press a kiss against the span between her slit nostrils, feeling her energy stiffen.
I clear my throat and push up, slide on my ring as I edge around Líri and move toward a small ledge of stone. Something for me to settle under and give Líri the peace she probably needs, given she seemed to take flight without realizing I was still atop her. Like a tick.
Poor thing just wanted some alone time in the snow, resting beneath the moons. Above everything, that is something I understand.
I’m two steps forward when Líri’s tail coils around me. A tender embrace that’s firm and strong enough to take my weight.
To pull me back.
Tugging me close to her body, she begins to shift around me, forming the shape of a frosty nest. Still swaddled by the soft length of her tail tendrils, I watch her churn, stiff as a board as she fusses, getting comfortable in the space surrounding me. Like I’m some precious egg.
She settles, releasing a deep, contended exhale …
I don’t breathe. Can hardly think, looking up at the silver aurora tangling with the moons like the silken strands of a different tail.
Something jostles … internally. Loosens the sense that I’ve shared moments like this before.
With another.
There’s a shifting sensation within me, like an organ lurched sideways. My body temperature drops, ice sludging through my veins as my Other rises. As though she’s about to rip me back and take control.
She doesn’t.
Instead, she settles just beneath my surface, still and silent. A quiet presence that feels so much more monumental than I allow myself to understand.
Líri coils tighter. The sort of hug you can’t wrestle from, even when you’re desperate to slash the world apart so you can break down in peace.
Leaving me with the only option of softening into her hold, blinking away pesky tears she dabs with a gentle press of her snout.
Cold kisses that linger as I sing—deciding we both need my calming song, dammit.