Chapter 2 #3
“I wish I could.” For one wild moment, I contemplated lying in wait for Daniel at his Southampton Street lodgings and demanding that we marry immediately, as I’d imagined during my sleepless nights.
We’d find a way, and then I’d move into his house in Kensington and send for Grace.
We could be wedged in there in only a few weeks.
I forced my practical side to resurface. “It seems like a long while, but it is better to lay plans than leap into things. We do not want to flounder and scramble, but instead step into our new life without difficulty. It will all come right, my dear. You’ll see.”
Grace was wise enough to understand I was placating her, but I believed my own words. Life was like cooking—enough preparation beforehand meant that a meal could come together quickly, with everything at hand and no mistakes made.
“I suppose,” Grace said.
“Besides, we have a while longer together in London.” I resumed a brisk tone. “We’ll do all the things we’ve always wanted to, and then when I start coming to Basingstoke, we can find all sorts of places to visit there.”
Grace nodded, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. “Very well, but do not expect me to be cheerful. I do not have the bright confidence in the face of everything that you have.”
“Well, I am glad you think me confident,” I said, hiding my surprise. Grace had always seemed much more serene than I was, and I tried to emulate her. “What I truly believe is that we can face this together. Shall we try?”
I took Grace’s hand and squeezed it. Her smile broke through, and she squeezed my hand in return. “We will, Mum.”
“Good.” I kissed her forehead and smoothed her hair. “Now, run back to Aunt Joanna before she believes I’ve kidnapped you.”
“We could run away,” Grace suggested. “That might be enjoyable.”
It would be, in the utmost, but I laughed and shook my head. “We can’t worry Aunt Joanna. Please be helpful to her, and do not give her a moment to feel guilty about this move to the country. It is good for her and Sam, and we won’t ruin it for them.”
Grace nodded. I could see the idea of putting aside her own dejection to make certain Joanna was happy bolstered her somewhat.
I hugged her again, then watched Grace walk back down Clover Lane, she turning to wave several times. I did not move until she was safely inside the house.
I’d jested about kidnapping her, but there were plenty of unscrupulous characters in London who would do just that. Grace was of an age where she’d bring a high price to a procuress.
I shuddered at the thought. Joanna taking Grace to the country was the best thing for her, I told myself. Basingstoke must be much safer than London.
Even so, as I walked home to Mount Street, my eyes flooded with tears several times as I tried to accept this new twist of fate.
* * *
Another twist came about when Daniel finally arrived late that night. I had been about to give up on his midnight visit and go to bed when a knock at the kitchen door had me skimming across the slates to open it.
I towed Daniel into the shadowy and silent kitchen, lit only with a candle at the table, where I’d long since finished sharpening my knives.
I’d tried to write notes about the recipes I’d prepare for the family’s suppers, but I’d ended up drawing minute pictures of peppers and berries in the margins.
Joanna’s news had distracted me greatly.
I’d taken the cutlets from the oven at supper and then forgotten about them until Tess, my assistant, had wondered loudly why the pork wasn’t going up on the dumbwaiter with the potatoes and greens.
I’d also poured the wrong wine into a dessert sauce, ruining it, meaning I had to send up the rhubarb tarts with only a dusting of icing sugar.
Tess’s help had been invaluable tonight, even in the clearing up, when I’d stood over a stack of soiled pots and stared into space. Shaking her head, Tess had carried them to the scullery for me.
Now I led Daniel to the table and shoved a leftover chunk of the rhubarb tart to him.
He didn’t touch it, which filled me with foreboding. Daniel always eagerly dug into my food.
“I did not mean to desert you this afternoon, Kat,” Daniel said. I filled the cup I’d set out for him with tea, which, likewise, he did not reach for. “Grimes had a visit from a man who claimed he had information for me. Information about me, and my past.”
I stilled in the act of pouring my own tea, the impact of Joanna’s news receding.
Daniel did not know who he was. He did not even know his own name, Daniel McAdam being a moniker he’d chosen for himself. It was his official name now, as he’d registered it when he’d become an adult.
“Oh.” I quickly set down the teapot, anticipation warring with dread in my heart. Knowing the truth of his past might ease Daniel’s mind, but secrets had a way of carrying a sting in their depths. “Is it reliable information?”
“I’m not certain yet.” Daniel met my gaze fully, his blue eyes troubled. “The gent Grimes led me to meet claims that he knew a woman who’d once looked after me and who’d possibly known my mother.”