Chapter 9 #2
And then he’d done what no six-year-old should ever have to do—walked out of that room, numb and broken, and told his parents that his twin was gone.
And they’d told him...he hadn’t prayed hard enough.
They hadn’t said those words exactly, but they didn’t have to. The message had been clear. He’d failed. And part of him had never stopped believing it.
He told himself he was past all that. That he’d made peace. But standing here now, thinking about Chloe’s dreams—about love, family, and babies—he realized something sharp and sobering. He hadn’t let go.
Not of the grief. Not of the guilt. Not of Max.
Maybe he’d built a life he was proud of. Maybe he wasn’t lonely. But somewhere deep down, he was still holding on too tightly to a moment frozen in time—a moment that had shaped every choice he’d made since then.
And he had no idea how to loosen the grip.
“Hey.” Chloe curled her fingers around his biceps. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. He lifted the bottle of wine. “I take it Fletcher and Baily are coming out with wine glasses? And does anyone know when Dawson and Audra are getting here?”
“We’re here,” Audra’s voice echoed over the crackle of the fire as she practically skipped around the side of the house with her arms stretched wide, pulling Trinity in for a big hug. “Two days, sister, and we’ll both be married wenches.”
“Don’t ever call me that again.” Trinity kissed Audra’s cheek.
“Right, because you have virgin ears.” Audra patted her belly before moving on to Chloe. “So, how is Hayes treating you? I hear he talks in his sleep.”
“I do not.” Hayes found the wine opener and began to uncork the bottle just as Fletcher, Baily, Foster, and a new girl joined them, bringing more food and a cooler. “Hey, Foster. How’s Oregon?”
“Better than damn Florida,” Foster said with a dramatic sigh.
“Even in freaking November, it’s hot—flat as hell, no mountains, just palm trees and gators in the great swamp you all call home.
” He pulled Hayes in for a quick bro hug, then turned to the group.
“For those of you who haven’t met her yet, this is Mackenzie.
” He smiled at the woman beside him. “Mac, meet the chaos. There will be a test later to match names to faces, so...good luck.”
“I already know Keaton, Trinity, Baily, and Fletcher. The rest is easy.” Mackenzie took a glass of wine from Hayes and smiled, waving at everyone. “Okay, the redhead over there is Audra, and she belongs to Dawson.”
“Oh, sweetheart, bad choice of words.” Foster sighed.
“I’ll give you a pass.” Audra lowered her gaze. “But only this one time. Do it again, and this Stigini will turn you into a frog.”
“What’s a Stigini?” Mackenzie narrowed her stare and glanced to Foster for help.
“Beats me, sweetheart.” Foster shrugged.
“It’s a swamp monster,” Hayes offered. “And Audra turns into one every night after midnight.”
“You’re Hayes.” Mackenzie smiled. “The clean-cut boy next door, and that means you must be Chloe.”
“Guilty as charged.” Chloe smiled. “Audra, care to elaborate on how you heard about Hayes’s sleep talking?”
“Oh, are we jealous?” Audra teased.
“Oh, good grief.” Hayes loaded up a small plate of food. He didn’t want to have this conversation again. “Everyone mumbles, groans, and makes weird noises in their sleep.”
“Yeah, but not everyone gives lectures in them.” Dawson snagged a beer from the cooler and sat down in one of the chairs in front of the fire. He pulled Audra onto is lap. “About a year before we all did SEAL training, we were living in this run-down old house where the walls were paper thin.”
“And the toilet never stopped running.” Fletcher laughed. “No matter how many times I tried to fix the damn thing, the water just ran and ran and ran. It was annoying as hell.”
“Kind of like the toilet you have in the guest room by the stairs in this place.” Baily pursed her lips, taking the glass of wine Hayes offered. “I can’t stand it. It wakes me up in the middle of the night.”
Silence filled the night air as everyone paused, staring at Baily with their mouths gaping open.
“You’re living with Fletcher?” Hayes finally asked after five painfully awkward minutes.
“No. Not really.” Baily shook her head. “The air handler in the apartment over the marina busted. I’m only staying there for a couple of days until a new one comes in.” She took a hearty sip of her wine. “Dawson, finish your story.”
“Sure thing.” Dawson nodded. “My bedroom was right next to Hayes’s, and one night I heard him chatting. At first, I thought he brought a girl home, which we had rules about, and he was breaking them, so I thought I’d go harass him. I figured it would be fine because I didn’t hear…you know…noises.”
“Oh, my God. You’re a pig.” Trinity sat between Keaton’s legs and laughed. “I’m used to that from my future husband, but Dawson, I thought you were a gentleman.”
Dawson bust out laughing. “I could’ve said what Audra was thinking.”
“Oh, no. Please don’t.” Trinity covered her belly with both hands. “We’re going to have a swear jar in our house, and every time Audra—or any of you—says a bad word, it goes in our baby’s college fund.”
“Because the two of you need money.” Fletcher laughed before taking his wine glass and easing into one of the big Adirondack chairs. Baily chose the one next to him.
That was progress.
Hayes handed Chloe some wine and waved to the seats over by Dawson next to Foster and Mackenzie.
Hayes loved nights like these. They reminded him of why he’d follow these men to the ends of the earth.
Everything was so easy with them. There was no pretense.
What little drama they had, they got over quickly.
They knew how to express their feelings—to get them out at the appropriate time, deal with them, and move on.
Trinity and Audra fit like a fine pair of driving gloves, and Baily had always been part of the group, even if her role had been strained.
She was family.
He stole a glance at Chloe’s profile as she stretched out her sexy legs in front of the file. Chloe belonged to this group. He couldn’t deny that. He wouldn’t deny it.
But that sent him toward a door he could never open, and he wasn’t sure he could do it now.
“Anyway,” Dawson continued, “his door was ajar, and I peeked in. He was lying in bed, and his arms were flapping about like a bird about to take flight, but that wasn’t even the funniest part.”
Hayes groaned. It wasn’t as if Dawson hadn’t told this story before.
“I sat up, looked Dawson square in the eye, and told him to drop to his knees and pray for forgiveness. To pray to see the light, brother. To open your heart to Jesus. Then I flopped back, sighed, blinked a few times, and asked him what the fuck he was doing in my room, staring at me, while he was wearing Aquaman boxers.”
Everyone burst out laughing hard as if it was the best damn joke ever. Only, Chloe snorted, which caused everyone to stifle their chuckles and stare.
Chloe covered her mouth, but she kept snorting.
“She does that when she can’t stop laughing.” Hayes rolled his eyes. “It’s not that funny.”
Chloe cleared her throat. “It’s not what you said in your sleep then, but what you said last night.”
“Excuse me?” He turned and cocked his head.
“At about three in the morning you poked me in the arm and asked me if I wanted to hear a funny joke. I actually said no, but you kept talking.” Chloe smiled.
“He doesn’t tell jokes,” Keaton said. “Then again, he doesn’t talk about God, church, or religion either.”
“Sweet, Jesus. Please tell me I didn’t spout off corny firefighter jokes?
” Hayes leaned back and winced. When he’d been a sniper, he’d dated one chick who’d told him he made all sorts of weird comments in his sleep about the size of his weapon.
That relationship hadn’t lasted very long, which wasn’t a bad thing.
Chloe nudged him. “Something about what firefighters say when a church catches fire—holy smoke.” She smacked her forehead. “And then you said a fireman’s favorite game was hot potato and asked me if I wanted to play. I nearly died. Had to bury my face in a pillow to keep from waking you up.”
“Those aren’t even funny, man,” Keaton said, shaking his head with a grin. “But we’ve all heard him mumble nonsense in his sleep. We love him anyway.”
Fletcher lifted his wine glass. “Since tonight’s about celebrating love, let’s raise one to the couples—and to Keaton and Trinity and their little one on the way.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Keaton said.
“Someone better grab Audra a drink,” Chloe said.
“I’m good with water,” Audra said, holding up her bottle, glowing under Dawson’s beaming gaze.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” Keaton chuckled, resting his hand on Trinity’s knee. “Our kid’s gonna have a little cousin close in age.”
“They sure are,” Dawson said, kissing Audra’s temple.
“Congrats, man,” Foster added. “Too bad you’re not going first, because this guy”—he nodded at Keaton—"is gonna be clueless.”
“Hey, you’re the one who dropped me on my head,” Keaton fired back with a laugh.
The laughter rippled around the circle, but Hayes barely heard it.
He raised a hand to his chest, suddenly aware of the pressure, tight and sharp, like an invisible weight had been dropped onto him. He couldn’t catch a full breath. The sound around him blurred, voices and laughter turning to static.
They were teasing. Celebrating. Doing what they always did—being family.
But no one had ever been this close to becoming a father before. Not like this. Not while still sitting beside him, part of the team.
Ken had been a dad, sure—but that had been different. Ken had distanced himself. Stepped back.
This? This felt like watching a door close while he stood on the other side of it.
The tether that had bound him to these men for years—his lifeline, the family he’d chosen—suddenly felt...frayed. As if at any moment, he’d be the one left behind. Outside looking in.
Sweat gathered at his hairline. His chest tightened again.