Chapter 1 #3
When he wanted me, I said yes. When he pushed, I submitted.
But something was off tonight. I couldn’t lose myself. I was too aware of the freezing concrete against my skin, the impatience of Corey’s hands, my barely wet pussy.
He grunted, shoving harder beneath my whimpers.
Corey was always rough and selfish, and I always felt like nothing in his hands. I wanted that nothingness. I lived for it. It was why I jumped every time he yanked my chain.
So what was wrong? Why wasn’t this working?
Lights Guy.
That was the problem.
The pleasure that shot through me when I bumped into his lean body. The smile brightening his whole expression and warming me from the inside out. The recognition on his face before he walked away.
For once, I wanted pleasure.
I wanted a smile.
I grimaced, squirming between Corey’s solid body and the wall, but he only growled, thrusting his erection against my ass.
I turned my face, staring at the parking lot, and an electric shock crackled through me.
Lights Guy stood at the entrance of the alcove, framed by buildings. His brows lifted in astonishment, creasing sharply as he drew closer.
I froze. No, please, no. No one knew about Corey and me. For this man to see us — I couldn’t take it.
As he approached, a gleam of gold flashed in his hand.
My watch.
Corey was sucking on my neck, fumbling behind me, probably unzipping his pants and reaching for a condom.
A few yards away, amber eyes mesmerized me, the clear hue turning stormy. I was pinned to the wall, staring at Lights Guy as he watched me about to have sex. And fuck it, for the first time tonight, I started getting wet.
But my thoughts tumbled forward, like a spotlight finally revealing the truth in all its harshness.
We’d played this scene so many times, the toxic chemistry of Jorie plus Corey, repeating like a hall of mirrors.
The rough grab, the cruel bite, the hope of blissful nothingness, through all the girlfriends he’d had and all the boyfriends I’d never had, on and on with the sameness and desolation of an addict, haunting us throughout our lives.
He’d get married and we’d still be doing this; I’d never get married and I’d pant at his door like a dog, until we reached our graves, where we’d fuck with our eyes and mouths full of dirt and it would never, ever end. Never, until — unless —
Those golden eyes woke me like a slap. I panted for breath, unable to speak.
Lights Guy took a step closer.
“Do you want to be here?” he asked quietly, holding out my ticking watch.
He seemed like an angel, showing up to reduce my twenty-one years on this planet to a single existential question: Do you want to be here?
He said it again, more urgently. “Do you want to be here?”
His concerned face inclined toward the coat that hid my body. Toward Corey, grunting, lost in his own world as he ground against me.
Now I understood: he thought Corey was attacking me.
“I’m consenting,” I whispered.
Behind me, Corey’s head jerked up. “What the fuck, man?”
Ignoring him, Lights Guy held out my watch.
“Is this yours?”
Panting, I nodded.
“What are you — Jesus, get out!” Panic grated Corey’s voice. “Go away, get out of here.”
Lights Guy’s brow furrowed, and he glanced at me questioningly. But I couldn’t handle his scrutiny any longer. Focusing on the pavement at my feet, I produced a moan — fake but full of conviction. He might detect my performance, but Corey wouldn’t.
Ever so gently, Lights Guy knelt and placed the watch on the ground, the gold gleaming in the lamplight. I couldn’t look away from its eerie shimmer, even after he retreated and a steel door creaked shut in the distance.
Cold-edged wind whistled between the buildings. I pushed my ass against Corey to urge him on, though I rarely took the lead. Whatever we were doing here, I wanted it done quickly.
But Corey didn’t seem to be hard anymore. He hadn’t entered me yet, and now he wilted against me.
“Goddammit,” he growled, groping my breasts and squeezing my pussy like I was a faulty machine, and if he could only get my engine going, it would rev him up too.
Finally, he straightened, forearms clenched.
“You know what? I can’t do this right now. That idiot ruined the mood.”
A giggle escaped me. “He sure did.”
“Are you laughing?”
Another giggle chased the first. I pressed my forehead against the cold concrete of the wall, laughing too hard to answer.
Corey and I had never stopped in the middle of the act. I wouldn’t dream of saying no, and he was determined to pursue pleasure to the end. His pleasure, only. I never came, and he never tried to get me off.
I felt empty without his body pressed against mine, but didn’t I always?
“If he tells anyone about this, you deny it, okay?” He loomed over me. “We have to look out for each other. You deny it, I deny it.” He stepped back, shaking his head. “Crazy shit. Who did that guy think he was?”
“I don’t know.” I slumped against the wall. “An angel.”
Corey zipped up his pants with a jerk. He didn’t look back at me as he went inside.
I squatted, picked up my watch, and fastened it around my wrist. And I smiled.
What’s past is prologue.
The heavy links were still warm from Lights Guy’s hand.