Chapter 3 #2
Giddy excitement washed over me as he led the way, beaming a flashlight over the black bars of flooring. When we walked over the house, the seats spread out far below in rows of pale wood and burgundy cushions, I gasped.
“We’re so high.”
Gavin nodded. “I love it here.”
“Me too.”
I studied the stage, wanting to allow Gavin time and space to resume whatever he’d been working on. He crouched over a cluster of Source Four lights, checking the wires, as intent as if he were alone.
“Thank you,” I blurted out, though my voice sounded soft like a plea. “For standing up for me. To Corey and the others.”
A rueful smile crossed Gavin’s face.
“You heard them…obviously.”
He nodded but said nothing. His silence threw me off-balance. I gripped the railing until my knuckles flashed white. He had no right to make me so nervous.
I peered down at Stella and Stanley’s apartment. The rumpled bed sheets and rickety chairs, empty beer bottles and tattered red curtains. The set looked different from this angle. Less like my whole world and more like a photograph, viewed from a distance.
“Corey said I can’t act,” I whispered.
“That’s not true. I saw you onstage today. You’ve got it.”
“You’re being kind. But everyone knows Corey’s the brightest light here. The rest of us just get the reflected glow.”
Leaving the wires, Gavin stood.
“Look at me.” His voice was low but charged with intensity.
“I don’t say things to be kind. That kid is an insecure little boy who’s terrified of being upstaged.
The only reason he makes a good Stanley is because he is Stanley.
But you? You’re captivating. No one can look away.
That’s what your paramour is afraid of.”
His words stunned me, put me under a spell. I almost believed him.
“Paramour?” I said finally, with a little laugh. “That’s a nice way to put it. Corey and I just…have this thing.”
Gavin shook his head. “Jordana, you don’t need to explain. I’ve had my share of things.”
I was so curious about this man. His face in shadow, his flashlight playing over the seats below. “Do you regret any of them?”
Gavin moved the flashlight from hand to hand. His sleeves were pushed up, and his tattoos swirled like brambles.
“Sure. But I think people fall into two categories. You regret the things you’ve done, or you regret the things you haven’t. For a long time, I was the second type. So I started taking more risks.”
“I’m a fan of risks,” I murmured.
God, his lips were beautiful. So soft-looking, in contrast to the pinpricks of his stubble. I tore my gaze away to look at the stage, still illuminated with blue, red, and purple.
“The lights are amazing,” I said quickly. “I love how you set them up.”
Gavin studied me. “This might sound strange, but—”
“What?”
With a shrug, he walked away and fiddled with some wires. I’d given up on him answering when he turned abruptly and came to stand in front of me. I was suddenly very aware of my back pressed against the railing.
“I set them up for you. I’m sure a girl like you doesn’t need saving.”
He cocked his head, and my cheeks flushed. Maybe I do, Gavin.
“But after what happened tonight, what those guys said, how they said it — I wanted to give you something.”
“Wow,” I said.
The tips of his ears reddened. Self-consciousness rushed through me, lighting a spark between my legs.
He reached out, and his fingers brushed my collarbone. His touch — fire.
I half-closed my eyes, my head tilting toward him. I waited for his mouth to follow.
“Your earring,” he said.
My eyes clicked open. “What?”
He held out the gold teardrop. “It must have fallen out.”
“Oh! Thanks.” I licked my lips, feeling reckless and bold. “Want to put it back in?”
Gavin smiled crookedly. “Okay.”
He took my earlobe between his thumb and forefinger, pinching lightly. That one little touch…it buzzed through my skin.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
My throat went dry. “You won’t.”
Gently, he pressed the tip against my hole. When he pushed through, I shuddered.
“Is that a good shudder or a bad shudder?” he murmured.
This was crazy. His touch, our words, the stage far below us — I wanted to dive off the catwalk.
“A good shudder.”
Again, I anticipated his kiss, our faces so close together. But he simply smiled and turned toward the stage.
I put my hand on my chest, trying to slow the wild beating of my heart, and drew in a shaky breath. Gathering myself together, I gestured to the vivid lights.
“Can we try some new colors?”
Gavin laughed. He seemed more at ease on the catwalk, his gruff shell dissolving.
“Which ones do you want?”
It felt so good to be asked what I wanted. “Sunset colors!” I said excitedly.
“Done.” He slid orange, pink, and golden gels over the lights, bathing the stage in warmth, transporting the set from the seamy side of New Orleans to a tropical island.
“I love it. It feels completely different. But…”
He grinned. “You liked the first setup better. Want to change it back?”
I nodded. Removing the gels, he slid a purple gel over one light, dimming its glare to a deep violet.
As he handed me a translucent red square, our fingers brushed. Shaking, I slid the square into the grooves of the closest light. It soaked center stage in red — sensual and hot, like a heart splayed open.
“What do you think?” Gavin stood right behind me.
Hairs rose on the back of my neck. I was sweating. Aching.
“I like it.”
“Hmm. With blues on either side to cool it down—”
As he reached around me, I turned to face him. My coat brushed his sweatshirt, and he stiffened.
“Do we have to?” I murmured. “Cool it down, I mean.”
I lifted my chin, inviting him to capture my lips.
Drawing a deep breath, Gavin took a step back. “We should reset everything for tomorrow and go down.”
I squeezed the railing, staring at the seats below like a toy model of a theater. “You don’t want me.”
“No,” he said quietly. “That’s not it.”
“You think I’m run through. You heard those boys. You saw me with Corey. I get it. But I promise, there’s nothing there. Nothing happened with him tonight—”
“Jesus! I don’t think you’re…run through.”
“Then what? I just thought…we were about to…”
Gavin zipped up his hoodie with a quick jerk. I didn’t care for how final it sounded, like a gate closing.
“Look, I remember what it’s like to be young and horny.”
“Wow, thanks.” I glared at him. “What are you, a fossil?”
“Pretty much.”
Boldly, I took a step toward him, suddenly aware of how high we were off the ground.
“With age comes experience. Right?”
His eyes darkened, the pupils almost swallowing the golden irises. Collecting himself, he gave me a playful tap on the nose.
“I’m too old for you.”
I shifted my weight forward, locking into his gaze. If there was one thing I’d learned from acting, it was this: A good performance requires the transfer of energy. Know where to send it, and why.
I put every ounce of energy into the space between us, until it fucking vibrated.
Surprise flashed across Gavin’s face. The playfulness evaporated.
“How old?” I challenged.
“I’m thirty.”
“You’re no fossil.” My gaze skated to the black jeans hugging his thighs, the bulge of his crotch.
He coughed. “Jordana, we just met. You’re young. You’re clearly going through something—”
“I’m twenty-one and I’ve been going through something my whole life, Gavin.” I arched my back, one hand on my hip, my cheetah coat falling away from my body.
His gaze traveled downward. His throat bobbed.
Step by step, I moved toward him until I closed the gap. Gavin stared at me, unblinking, like he either wanted to devour me or push me away.
“If you want me,” I whispered, “and you don’t think I’m run through, then give me one good reason why we shouldn’t kiss.”
His eyes widened. “I could give you ten, but just one? Rachel. She would skin me alive.”
“Because there’s something between you?”
“No.” He heaved out a laugh. “For other reasons. And she doesn’t want any shenanigans. I’m sure you know that.”
Rachel had strict rules. No fooling around on set, not even a kiss. Any sexual actions were cause for dismissal. A few years ago, before my time at Hawthorne, the leads in Much Ado About Nothing were caught mid-hand job in a dressing room. They were immediately fired and replaced.
“Rachel’s not here to direct us right now. But you can direct me…” I dared to brush my fingers down Gavin’s chest.
His eyes flamed into glowing embers. He grabbed my wrists, and I gasped. That rough grip was everything I wanted.
“You like that, don’t you? Being in charge.” I glanced at the erection tenting his jeans. “You keep it under wraps, Gavin, but I bet you’d love to tell me what to do.”
His hands tightened until my blood pulsed hot against his grasp.
“Jordana…”
“Please. I just want to know. Can it be better than it’s been with Corey?”
“What do you mean?”
I was gambling on a last-ditch effort to make something happen. But I had to know—
“For two years, I’ve been crawling to him,” I confessed. “But when I met you, I thought…”
“Thought what?” His voice went lower, rumbling.
“That — just maybe — you were someone who could give me what I want.”
“What do you want?”
Suddenly, it was hard to speak. I’d never told a man what I wanted.
“I want someone who can make me feel like everything and nothing.”
The rasp of his breath filled the theater. His hands restrained me, motionless.
“When you came outside, I thought you were an angel.” I swayed closer, pinning my arms between us. “I thought, if you’re an angel, you’ll step in. You’ll make everything better that he tried to ruin.”
In the shadows, Gavin’s cheekbones stood out starkly. He released me, his hands curling into fists.
“Rachel warned me about you,” he said abruptly.
“What?” I reached out to grip the railing, feeling unsteady without Gavin’s grasp.
“She said you’re seductive. She told me to stay away from you.”
“Rachel told you that?”
I’d always admired Rachel, and now, she was fucking judging me. Just like those boys earlier.
Did everyone see me that way?
Yet even as my cheeks flushed, a weird sense of power filled me.
Gavin exhaled. “She didn’t only say it to protect me from you. She also wanted to protect you from me.”
“Why do I need protection from you? It’s too late to protect me from anything, so don’t bother.”
His hand rose, as if to stroke my cheek, then dropped. “You’re more innocent than you think you are.”
“Am I?” I scoffed. “Rachel clearly thinks I’m a slut, just like everyone else does. You don’t agree? What do you think, Gavin?”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I think I’m very bad at following orders.”
“You know what I think? I want a man who understands what to do with a woman.” I glanced down at the stage, the broken prop bed where I’d grappled with Corey. “He doesn’t know. None of them know. But you know, don’t you? Teach me how it’s done.”