Chapter 10 #2
“With closed legs.” He sounded choked. “Or taken from the side, or behind you.” Obediently, I closed my legs. “Keep going, Jordana. Remember, you’re all alone.”
Whimpers escaped me as I worked my hand between my thighs. I wasn’t alone, and we both knew it. I so wanted him to look. To see me. To touch me. Not to hover at a distance, shooting from an angle.
My fingers slipped into hot, silky wetness. When I touched my clit, I arched off the bed, crying out with pleasure.
“Fuck,” Gavin gritted.
I couldn’t ignore him any longer. The mattress sank by my shoulder as he snapped another photo. Turning my head on the pillow, I looked into the dark lens of the camera.
“I’m not here,” he chided.
“The hell you’re not.”
His fingers flexed on the camera. “Turn away, Jordana,” he said gruffly. “I don’t want a direct gaze from you right now.”
Keeping my eyes on his, I let my knees fall open. Just enough to let him glimpse what he said I couldn’t show.
My heart pounded wildly. It was a risk to defy Gavin, but I couldn’t keep pretending. Not when he wanted me to be myself.
“Jordana…” A warning.
“This is what I’m feeling right now,” I breathed. “This is the next step of my journey.”
“I’m giving you orders to do something different.”
“And I’m disobeying you.”
His jaw clenched. “You’re being a very bad girl.”
“But I’m innocent. Aren’t I? I don’t know any better yet. I don’t know…” I dared to let my legs open further, feeling vulnerable and excited as hell. “About men.”
He swallowed. Did I see the hint of a smile, just for a second? “You’re defying my directions. You’re staring right into the camera like a brazen little thing. You’ve got your legs spread, showing me…everything. It’s unprofessional.”
“What are you going to do? Fire me?”
Gavin lowered the camera. His eyes were dark, with no sign of his laugh lines. “I could tie you up for being a brat, or pose you like a doll — which I will, but I didn’t plan to do that tonight. I could refuse to take your picture.”
“You could do a million things. What are you going to do?”
He shoved his hands into his hair. “You don’t want me to take you, Jordana. I’ve already gone too far.”
I rose to my knees, grasping handfuls of the comforter.
“Is that really the story you want to tell with this book? That I never find out, never learn? How can I reach the end of the journey that way?” I held his gaze as his jaw worked.
“I know it can be so much better with you than with anyone else. With — with Corey. Do you want him to be it? The one who got to use me? I don’t. I want it to be you.”
Gavin clutched the camera until his knuckles went white. His nostrils flared.
“Jordana…” This time, his voice was a plea.
“For the pictures,” I whispered. “You know the pictures need us to do this.”
“If you spread those pretty legs again tonight, I won't let you close them until you come. Is that what you want?” We stared at each other, the air thick between us. “What do you want, Jordana?”
“I want to be everything and nothing with you. Initiate me.”
I expected him to pounce. A huge bulge pushed out the front of his sweatpants, and his eyes were devouring me like I was a tasty little morsel. Instead, he got off the bed and stood at the foot. Thinking, lingering, in a silent debate.
Finally — finally — he dipped his head in a nod. “If you need me to stop, say so. All of this — the shoot, us — will only work if you can say no.”
“I understand.”
“Do you have a safe word?”
“Me? Do you seriously think I’ve ever used one with anyone?”
He shoved his hands through his hair. “Choose one, then.”
“But I trust you.”
“I’m glad. But I’m not going forward without a safe word.” At last, he smiled. And fuck, despite his laugh lines, he looked hungry. “I want you free to beg, squirm, and cry.”
I shivered. “Honey, I don’t cry except for a role.”
The day my dad ended my professional career was the last time I cried. Tears are dangerous — that was the lesson I learned. Emotions get you in trouble. Make you lose things. So I locked mine away and only let them out onstage.
“Well, you’ll cry if I put my hands on you the way you’re asking.”
I swallowed hard as I remembered grappling on the prop bed with Corey. In character as Blanche, trying to fight Stanley off.
“Then my safe word is Blanche. Because she never got to use one.”
Kneeling on the bed, Gavin cupped my face. “Jordana, are you sure about this?”
“Yes.”
My thoughts flew apart when he kissed me.
The kiss started out soft, so soft. His mouth was as sensual as I’d hoped. Then the pressure deepened and his tongue sank into my mouth, hot and eager.
I tried to suck on his lower lip, but he held my head firmly, pushing me onto the bed and taking control until I succumbed. Finally, he pulled away. My lips were swollen, my body buzzing.
“Lie back, kitten,” he ordered. “You’re asleep now and you’re having a beautiful dream.”
I closed my eyes, letting his words wash over me.
“You’re warm and safe in bed. Feel the sheets against your soft, naked skin. Your dream’s turning you on, so you’re touching yourself. One hand on your throat, the other on your belly. Yes…that’s it.”
As he spoke, the shutter clicked. Flashes of warm red light exploded behind my closed eyelids.
“Slide your hand down to play with those perfect tits. Pinch your nipple. Good girl.”
A click, very close, made my eyes fly open. Oh God, he was zooming in.
“You can’t stand how good it feels. But you’re curious, so you pinch harder. Does it hurt yet? Mmm, how about now?”
A cry flew from my mouth as the intensity built. My hand fell away from my breast.
“No, kitten.” His voice was merciless. “Keep going.”
I obeyed, writhing on the bed.
“Now the other one. Make it pretty and red like the first. Your body’s going to be covered with evidence for this camera. Evidence of the kind of girl you are.”
“What kind of girl am I?”
He chuckled. “A precious kitten who’s hoping I’ll change her into a filthy slut.”
Oh fuck, it hurt so good. The shock of his words, the pinches on my nipples. When he put his hands on me, moving casually down my shoulders to cup my breasts, I gasped.
“That’s right, Jordana. You got yourself all ready for me. I like seeing you so excited, your nipples so puckered and tight.”
Slowly, deliberately, he grazed my throbbing nipples with his thumbs.
I rose off the bed, electrified. He tugged the taut buds until they were swollen and berry-red, then ordered me to take over. I obeyed, teetering on a knife’s edge between pain and pleasure.
He crouched over me, a long shape in black, taking more pictures. When he paused, I impulsively hugged his legs with my thighs, arching up to lick the swirling tattoos on his arm.
“Baby, that’s not for now.” Taking hold of my shoulders, he pushed me back on the bed. “You asked me for orders, and you’re getting them. Right now, your journey is about letting me make the decisions.”
“You don’t want me to touch you?”
A flush rose on his cheeks. “I need to focus.”
For all his control, I wondered if he was nervous.
He released me, climbing off the bed and circling me with his camera.
“What should I do with this sexy little thing in my bed?” he mused. “Should I be nice or mean tonight?”
I opened my mouth, but he held his finger to his lips. “No talking until I say so.”
Surprised, I nodded.
Lifting his camera, he took one picture, then another. My legs were still spread. My thighs were starting to ache. Instinctively, I moved them closer together.
“No, kitten.” Gavin pounced, gripping my thighs. “Keep these legs apart until I’m done playing with you.”
My core throbbed as he held me open. He’d told me not to speak, but…
“What about the pictures?” I blurted. “You said I couldn’t be spread open for the book.”
He had the nerve to smirk at me. “Most of the shots aren’t of your whole body. And I’m taking them from a variety of angles. Now, what did I say about no talking?”
I nodded quickly. But God, his hands on my thighs, so hot and big, pressing into my skin, keeping me open so he could stare…I couldn’t handle this much attention. I reached up to grab his lean shoulders and pull him on top of me. It was like trying to bend an iron shaft.
Gavin shook his head. “You just don’t understand. You have no control here. Looks like I’ll have to spank that lesson into you. Will you understand that, Jordana? Will you understand my hands on your body when I punish you?”
There was the briefest pause as I pleaded with my eyes. He was waiting. Giving me time to say yes or no.
I dipped my head in a single nod.
His palm landed swiftly on my inner thigh. Not hard, but sudden. A cry flew from my mouth.
Gavin paused, his hand hovering above my other thigh. I’d expected him to flip me over and lay into my ass.
“Bad girl. So greedy and impatient. Did you really try to rush me?”
I nodded again, and he immediately smacked my flesh.
“I expected more from you, kitten.”
The hot sting of those two slaps reverberated through my thighs, arrowing to meet at my pussy. Low noises left my mouth as Gavin walked to a closet and opened it.
“Just for that, I’ll have to restrain you,” he said calmly. “I’m going to tie you to my bed.”
I was beyond excited. But to my amazement, an apology burst from my lips. “I’m sorry.”
Gavin turned from the closet, a coil of rope looped over his arm. “None of that, Jordana.” His voice was soft, but firm. “I don’t want to hear apologies during the shoot. Now hush.”
“Gavin, please! I’m sorry, I really am…”
“Keep going and I’ll gag you.” His teeth flashed in a grin. I gaped at him, the breath knocked out of me. “You want that?”
God, did I? Maybe…? I was curious, but this was already overwhelming. Finally, I shook my head.
“Then no apologies, kitten. Just be good for me.”
My head spun as he vaulted onto the bed, grasped my wrists, and pushed my arms above my head. Rope crossed over my wrists and lashed them firmly to the metal loops on the headboard.
He smiled at me. “How does that feel?”