Chapter 14
Roxie
Fun fact about me: there were three things I was terrified of more than anything in the world.
The first was snakes. There was something about the way they slithered around unnaturally that triggered some primal fear in my mind and made me want to turn and run in the opposite direction.
Even a harmless garden snake was enough to make me shriek at the top of my lungs.
The second thing was public speaking. Or getting up in front of a crowd in general. I could never be a musician, because just the thought of playing an instrument in front of an arena of fans made my mouth go dry with anxiety.
The third thing I was terrified of? Heights.
As I climbed the ladder, I kept my eyes on the rung directly in front of me. My curiosity was strong enough to overwrite most of my fear… for now. Climbing back down would be harder, but that was a problem for later.
After what felt like thirty billion rungs, the ladder reached the catwalk level high above the arena. Still doing my best not to glance down, I followed the catwalk around the edge of the arena to where it met another ladder. This one disappeared up through a hatch in the roof.
Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought I caught a whiff of Riot’s scent. I was on the right track.
Groaning, I started climbing again.
Now it was impossible to pretend like I was only a few feet off the ground.
The first ladder had faced the wall, but this one faced the interior of the arena.
Which meant that even if I focused on each rung, my brain saw that there was an open chasm of air between me and the far wall of the arena several hundred feet away.
My heart pounded in my chest. I could feel sweat on the back of my neck, and it had nothing to do with the exertion of climbing. Soon my fingers felt stiff, and I had to concentrate on every single movement.
Somehow, running on pure adrenaline and stubbornness, I reached the top.
Wind immediately stirred my hair as I exited onto the roof.
There was a platform up here that extended all the way to the edge of the arena, with electrical panels attached to the spotlights that illuminated the exterior of the structure.
The first thing I did was sit down on the floor to allow my breathing to steady.
From up here, the Atlanta skyline glowed on the horizon to the south-east.
And there, sitting on the edge, was Riot Kane.
He was a dark silhouette against the city lights, one knee propped up and a beer bottle held loosely in one hand. He raised it to his lips and took a long pull, tossed it aside, and cracked open the second beer.
I don’t know how long I sat there watching him. Long enough that my pulse returned to a semi-normal level. The outline of his body, hard and intense, contrasted beautifully against the city.
Then he called out, “You gonna hide back there, or come help me drink this beer?”
Feeling embarrassed, I stood up and approached. Even though I was nowhere near the edge, I clung to the railing as if a gust of wind might suddenly sweep me to my death.
I stopped next to him. The edge was five feet away, which was far too close for my comfort. “You’re not mad I followed you?”
“Oh, I am,” he said while staring out at the skyline. “Go on. Ask it.”
“Ask what?”
“The question you came here to ask.” He turned, his intense gaze colliding with mine.
“I shouldn’t have disturbed you. I’ll leave you alone.”
“No,” he said before I could walk away. He bit off every word through gritted teeth. “Ask. It.”
I swallowed hard. Now I felt twice as embarrassed.
“Why do you run off like this after every show?” I asked. “Do you always come to the roof?”
Riot didn’t answer at first. He patted the ground next to him, and I sat cross-legged. He held out the beer to me. It was cold and crisp and biting.
“What do you know about me?” he asked.
“Not much. I just met you.”
“You didn’t internet-stalk me? Or look at my Wikipedia page?”
“I might have glanced at it. But that was mostly because I was curious how old you are.”
“Do you know about my brother?”
“No,” I replied.
He nodded, took the beer back, and gazed out at the distant city. “His name was Teddy. He was a year older than me. Irish twins.”
“Teddy?” I tried not to laugh. “I don’t want to offend you, but as far as names go? Teddy is the polar opposite of Riot.”
He chuckled softly. “No kidding. We used to joke about how Teddy was the son they put all their hopes and dreams into, while I was the afterthought. With a name like Riot, they thought I was going to be a little demon.”
“It sounds like it was a self-fulfilling prophecy that you became a rock star.”
“Yeah.” There was enough moonlight out that I could see him smile.
“Teddy loved getting into places where he wasn’t allowed.
It was his favorite hobby anytime we went out.
It started with employee break rooms at grocery stores, but eventually he fell in love with roofs.
Whenever we were in a new building, he was constantly looking up.
Searching for a way onto the roof. One time, after prom, we took our dates out to eat at Chili’s.
This was back before I was a cool guitar player. ”
“Obviously.”
“So there’s eight of us sitting at a table at Chili’s, trying to work up the nerve to try to order alcohol. Teddy disappears. His date doesn’t know where he went, and he’s not answering his phone. Eventually we paid the bill and left, and when we walked out to our car…”
“He was on the roof?”
“He was on the roof!” Riot gestured with the beer bottle.
“Shivering up there in his tuxedo, waving and grinning like he’d accomplished the impossible.
His date never talked to him again, but Teddy didn’t care.
Climbing roofs was his thing. A fun little quirk.
I asked him about it one day, and he explained that he always got a really unique perspective from a roof.
That the world looked different up there, and made all his problems seem small. ”
“That’s great advice,” I said, sweeping my gaze out across the city. “Teddy sounds like a good brother.”
“Yeah,” Riot said softly. “He was.”
Was.
Past tense.
Oh no.
Riot looked at me, and there was a shimmer in his eyes, reflected by the city light. He ran a hand through his hair, drank the rest of the beer, then tossed the bottle over with the first one.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“Yes,” he replied, “you did. You intruded very deliberately. Unless you want to claim you wandered up two ladders and a catwalk by coincidence.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. But if I had known… I would have given you your space.”
He shrugged. “It’s fine. It doesn’t matter. I think about Teddy a lot, especially when we perform. He was the one who got me into music, and bought me my first guitar. So whenever I finish a show, I find a way to the roof of the venue and have a drink in Teddy’s honor.”
“That’s really nice.”
“Yeah.”
We sat in silence together for a bit.
“I’ll leave you alone,” I said, rising to my feet. “Sorry again. I—”
My toe got caught on the roof platform, and I stumbled. Forward, toward the edge. The world spun, and I tried to scream but no noise would come out, and in a flash I imagined my body smashing onto the concrete far below…
Riot wrapped his arm around me, pulling me away from the edge. I clung to him, panting, and stared at the spot where the platform ended in open air. I was never really close to falling off, but with my fear of heights, it felt like I’d just had a near-death experience.
“I got you,” he breathed, holding me tightly in his arms. “You’re all right. I got you.”
I got you.
That simple phrase stirred something inside of me. Something primal. Combined with the way I already felt about him, and his intoxicating scent, and his hands on my back…
I never had a chance.
I gazed up at Riot, my chest pressed up against his. He felt so strong and sturdy, like as long as I kept him close, I would never have to be afraid of falling ever again.
There was a moment of conflict in his dark eyes. A storm of desire and lust. I recognized it because it was the same thing I felt deep inside my body, deep inside my soul.
I tried to resist the feeling. I didn’t want to surrender to it, but a huge part of me did. In the end, my own internal conflict didn’t matter.
Because Riot surrendered first.