Chapter 25 - Cash
Cash
It was strange being back in my old stomping grounds.
The other members of my band all had a hometown. Violet was from Portland, while Riot and Milo were from Austin. Whenever we played there, they were giddy and full of energy. They put all of themselves into the performance because they knew people out in the crowd.
But for me, coming back to Detroit was bittersweet.
Most of my friends had moved out of town for college; there was only one who still lived there and could meet up for lunch.
The city had undergone several transformations in the past few years, a revitalization that had replaced most of my favorite spots with newer, more gentrified businesses.
As I walked through downtown, I hardly recognized the place I used to call home.
And then there was the situation with my parents.
Being here was like picking at a wound that had just scabbed over. The blood came to the surface at the slightest scratch, hot and red and bright with pain.
I pushed all those emotions down until they were a dull throbbing deep within my soul. I didn’t want to think about my parents. I’d thought about them enough over the last two years, and I didn’t have any room for that right now.
We had a show to play tonight.
It was my turn to have the big bed on the bus, and I spent my afternoon stretched out with my bass guitar across my lap.
Riot had finished the rough draft of three new songs and had passed along the sheet music so I could write the bassline.
That required all of my focus, and took my mind off my family.
When Roxie returned from wherever she had gone, her face was bright red. “You all right, babe?” Violet asked when she climbed onto the bus. “You look like you just got into a fight.”
“It might as well have been,” she said. “I…”
She locked eyes with me from across the bus, and hesitated.
“I was walking back to the bus when a guy jumped out of an alley and tried to rob me!”
Riot leaped to his feet like he was ready to march to war. “Where? Is he still there? Take me back to where it happened so I can kick his ass.”
“Make that two of us,” Milo said, balling his hands into fists.
“He’s gone,” Roxie quickly said. “Two guys chased him off. I think he was homeless. Not worth your time.”
“Two guys chased him off?” Milo asked. “Were they more or less handsome than us?” He threw an arm over Riot’s shoulder.
Riot shrugged him off and said, “Are you okay?”
“I’m totally fine,” she insisted, glancing at me again. “Just flustered. I want to forget about the whole thing.”
There was something strange about the way she said it. But then she brushed it off and walked past me into the bus bathroom. I heard the shower begin running a few seconds later.
Like everything else bothering me, I pushed it down and went back to focusing on what actually mattered: my music.
Later that evening, we exited the bus and went into the concert venue. The dressing room was small and cramped, but the food spread was better than anything we’d had to date. “I specifically requested this local restaurant,” I told the others when they also commented on the quality.
“Hell-fucking-yeah,” Milo said, high-fiving me. “You’re the best band-mom a hyper drummer boy could ever have. Do I say that enough? Because I mean it.”
“Love you too, in spite of your hyper drummer energy,” I teased.
When the opening band was done, one of the stage hands came to get us for the main show. We went through our normal routine, sharing a group hug and positive words of encouragement.
“Have a great show,” Roxie said, giving me an extra-long hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. She did the same to Milo and Riot, so it didn’t mean anything, but it still put a little extra energy in my step.
We’d become close. But I didn’t know we were kiss on the cheek close.
The Detroit crowd did not disappoint—they were loud and energetic from the moment we walked on stage and didn’t let up at all.
“This is an extra special show for us,” Riot said between songs. “Detroit is where our bass player and band mom Cash Delaney is from.”
The roar from the crowd washed down on us and made me proud.
“Cash hates the spotlight, so I’m going to need your help convincing him to come up and play a solo,” Riot said. “Who wants to hear that?”
The crowd screamed for me. Riot looked back at me and gestured for me to come to the front of the stage.
“You bastard,” I said when I was next to him.
“Shut up and give the people what they want.” He clapped me on the back, presented me to the fans like he was Vanna White, then backed away so I had the front of the stage all to myself.
Milo played a simple beat for me. The intro to Sunset Regret. I nodded along with the drums, waiting for the right moment, then bent over my bass.
I liked playing bass guitar because it meant I was always in the background. That’s where I preferred to be. Some men—like Riot—were born to be in the spotlight, but that wasn’t for me.
Still, it was nice to get a small fraction of attention while I played my solo. My fingers plucked away, the melody growing more complex as I weaved new notes into the solo. Really hamming it up for the crowd.
And they ate it up.
When the solo was done, and Milo started really playing the drums to signify the start of the actual song, Riot gave me a big hug. Then he gestured at me one last time, convincing the crowd to give me another round of applause while he stepped back and bowed his hands toward me in worship.
I gave a little wave to the crowd, then resumed the actual bassline of the song while retreating to my corner of the stage by Violet. She blew me a kiss while playing her keyboard.
Okay. I guess it was nice to get a little special attention every once in a while.
It was easily our best show yet, a sentiment which my bandmates confirmed when the encore was over and we finally walked off the back of the stage. “Holy fuck! Detroit rock city is right!” Milo said.
“Gonna be tough to beat this crowd,” Violet agreed. “Though I hope my Portland brothers and sisters come out for that show.”
Roxie was waiting in the wings with a huge grin on her beautiful face. “You were so good! Wow!”
She hugged me first before moving on to Milo, then Riot.
“I’m fucking jacked up right now,” Milo announced. He was practically bouncing on his feet. “This feeling is better than any drug. I could run through a brick wall right now if you dared me.”
“I dare you not to do that,” Violet said. “If you dislocate your shoulder again, we’ll need to find a new drummer.”
“Now, hold on,” I teased. “Maybe that’s not such a bad idea.”
“Here’s a good idea for you.” Milo shoved his middle finger up against my nose.
I pushed him away and turned to Riot. “I worked a concession stand here when I was a teenager. The roof access is on the stage’s left side, hidden behind a set of backup speakers. But once you find it, it’s an easy climb.”
“Your mom’s an easy climb,” Milo said.
Everyone turned to him. “Jackass…” Violet whispered.
“Fuck. Sorry. Didn’t mean to bring up…”
“I’m not fragile, you guys,” I said. “You can bring up my mom without me bursting into tears.”
“Bring your mom up about what?”
The voice was more familiar to me than anyone else in the world, but it still felt foreign for me to hear them here, and now. I turned slowly, afraid of what I might see as if it were a monster or a ghost.
There, at the edge of the stage next to a confused-looking roadie, were my parents.
Roxie gasped. Violet said something to Milo, but I barely heard them. I was too shocked to say anything, too surprised to even move. The arena could have caught fire and collapsed around us at that exact moment and I still would’ve needed a few moments to collect myself.
“Mom? Dad?”
My mom crossed the space between us, picking up speed with every step, and threw her arms around me. I hugged her back, unsure of whether to feel confused or angry.
“You were incredible!” she said, backing up and looking up at me. “Absolutely incredible.”
“She’s right. That was something,” Dad added. “Really something.”
“I don’t understand what you’re doing here.” I felt sweaty. Why was I so sweaty? I felt fine during the performance. “Are those backstage passes around your neck?”
Mom took my face in both of her hands and smiled up at me. “Cash. There’s something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago. I’m proud of you.”
“We both are,” Dad added, looking embarrassed.
“I’m still not a fan of this style of music,” she went on.
“And I will always be upset that you turned down MIT. But being here tonight, seeing the stadium full of fans, and hearing them screaming for you… I understand it all, now. This is your calling. This is what God put you on this planet to do.”
Everything began to shimmer as tears welled in my eyes. I hugged Mom again, then Dad joined in.
“Proud of you, son,” he said. “Did you hear us cheering? We were in the front row.”
“We were almost in the front row,” Mom corrected. “We were behind three women who would not stop flashing their breasts.”
“He knows what I mean, Lindsay.”
“You don’t have to exaggerate, Robert.” She hugged me again. “I think that girl has a crush on you. You should ask her out. If your generation still goes on dates.”
I locked eyes with Roxie, who was clasping her hands together and beaming from ear to ear. Mom didn’t need to explain who she was talking about. I already had a suspicion as to who was responsible for my parents being here.
And the joy and gratitude I felt for Roxie filled my heart to bursting.
“Does this mean I can make your mom jokes to Cash again?” Milo whispered.
“Shut up!” Violet snapped at him. “You’re ruining the moment.”
“I’m just asking!”
I closed my eyes and hugged my parents tighter, a feeling I never thought I would get to experience again.
And it was all thanks to Roxie.