Chapter 25
U nlike every other conduction I had ever done, muses entered the performance area before the audience in Lamida. This was also the first time our practice space doubled as the performance arena, but that was likely because of the specific needs of aerial silks.
Besides, the gymnasium was gorgeous, with the marble platform surrounding the circular sandpit in the middle, mimicking the ceiling and the domed skylight. During the practices, the marble was left bare, and we used it for exercise and stretching. Now, it was full of cushioned chairs in rows, and I noticed the balcony seating on the walls.
The muses climbed to our first positions. For me, that was starting twenty feet up in a back-balance. My back was arched with my belly up, and my head craned backward, making me a crescent hanging from the ribbon.
It wasn’t my favorite position to hold, but my fear had been lessening as time passed. I still threw up after practice, and today, since it was the real deal, I had thrown up beforehand and popped a mint candy before climbing up.
Once we were all in position, with Wrenley in xer cropped top and palazzo pants, poised in the aerial hoop, the lights went dark in the gymnasium. Light still came in through the skylight, and a platform slowly moved out from the ceiling and closed it off, so the room was pitch-dark.
The darkness was somehow both disorienting and comforting. I couldn't see the floor or the vast, terrible distance between me and the soft sand.
But the gymnasium didn't stay dark for long. Carefully placed lanterns illuminated the walkways to the seats so the attendees could find their way through.
The muses were so far up on the ribbons that we were invisible in the dark midair.
Someone began playing soft music on a lyre, and the audience began filing into their seats. It didn't take long, but my heart hammered so loudly in my chest that I worried the audience would hear it.
At last, King Asmond and the royal family took their place on the center balcony, so they were nearly at eye level with us.
The moment the King sat was our cue to begin.
Slowly, all of us muses hanging in the silks began emanating light from our fingertips. It was faint at first, only little orbs of light, but as they grew brighter, the music grew louder.
Madge, the enchantress, stood in the center of the room, conducting our magik and bringing forth the music.
Wrenley sat in the ring, one leg dangling off with xer hands on the sides. All around the edge of the hoop, xer magik illuminated sunflower petals – the symbol of Lamida, in pink, the official royal color of King Asmond.
Despite my initial fears, the conduction flew by in the most literal sense. It started with a few simple climbs and balances – like the half-moon – but quickly rolled into spins, flips, and drops. I closed my eyes and focused on my magik, and I felt the wind flying around me as I performed.
Even before we reached the floor, I heard the audience applauding, but I still felt better when my feet touched the warm sand. From the royal balcony, I heard someone whooping and boisterously shouting praise, but I couldn’t tell who.
The moments after the conduction were always so dizzyingly giddy, and tonight, after my last time on the silks, was all that and more so. Now that I was safely on the ground, I felt lighter than ever.
All of the muses were ushered out of the arena to the banquet hall to eat and celebrate with the King and other noble revelers. I lost Wrenley quickly in the crowd, and I reached out and took Rowan's hand so I wouldn't lose him, too.
And because I wanted to.
I knew his hand would be strong and warm because I had already felt it on my wrists, arms, waist, and legs from when he'd helped me with my aerials.
But this time was different. When I took his hand, it felt electric, and his cheeks were flushed when he smiled at me.
The other muses were pushing us along. We were a river of revelry until we reached the banquet hall. There, we all burst free, going our separate ways. Most were drawn to the food or wine, others to the dance floor where a band played.
But I didn't want that. I needed a moment to clear my head. Rowan must've known somehow because he was leading me away from the others and out the door off the back of the room.
We slipped through and went out onto the small balcony. The night air had a crispness that I relished, and fireworks lit up the stars.
Rowan closed the door behind us, muffling the music, and we were alone.
“You did it,” he said with a proud smile, and our fingers were still entwined. “But I always knew you could.”
“I had the smallest, least difficult role, and I never could’ve managed it without your help,” I said.
“You would’ve gotten there eventually,” he insisted.
A firework suddenly burst behind him, illuminating his handsome face and making his kind eyes glow.
I don't know if I kissed him, or if he kissed me, or if we just moved together at the same time. We were kissing, our skin tingling from all the magik we'd conducted.
A chilly wind came up, but that only made the heat from his body more inviting. I pressed myself against him, kissing him deeply, and I wanted to lose myself in his arms.
But I couldn't. Something inside me held me back even when I wanted to give in.
Rowan pulled away when he noticed my hesitation. His eyes were immediately filled with concern. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes," I assured him with a smile, putting my hand on his chest. "I'm a little light-headed, and… I leave tomorrow."
“It’s no good to be starting something only to say goodbye,” he reasoned sadly, coming to the same conclusion that I had.
“It’s not,” I agreed just as gloomily.
He took my hand again. “Let’s go inside and have some fun with the others.”
Rowan was kind, handsome, and talented. But I was leaving tomorrow, which was certainly motive enough to avoid getting too attached.
I didn't think that was the reason for my hesitation, though. Something else was weighing on my heart that I couldn't quite explain.
The rest of the night was mostly a blur, albeit a pleasant one. I stayed out as late as possible, dancing with the other muses, but I still cut out earlier than most. I wasn't that surprised that Wrenley wasn't in our room when I arrived.
I’d only just started undressing when I heard a mimicaro bird singing my name. I turned to see the round little guy. When he opened his beak, it was Soren's voice saying, "Congratulations on your wonderful conduction! I look forward to seeing you when you return tomorrow."
And that was when I understood. Soren was the hesitation on my heart.