Diary #5
Diary #5
Dear Dad,
I thought about you today. I was driving this manual truck, and it brought back memories of you teaching me how to drive. You were a terrible teacher, by the way, when it came to four-wheeled vehicles. I still have to count my blessings each time I make it anywhere safely.
I was born to ride. That’s not something I can change just because I’m no longer part of the Mavericks.
For a long time, I was furious at you. I understood what you did but not why you cut me out of your life. Especially when I saw you still talked with Maddox. Why wasn’t I special enough to check in on?
But I think I get it now. It hurts. It hurts to wait around for a letter or words from someone to know how they’re doing. Perhaps a clean break was easier. I don’t know. I haven’t managed to do that yet.
Maybe I’m stronger than you in that sense. I can’t seem to let Maddox go, no matter how long it’s been or how much it hurts.
He’s a part of me, and I’m part of him.
But I miss you. So, maybe if I write to you this way, I can finally resolve all the feelings I’ve been carrying around with me, and one day, I can forgive you.
That day is not today.
Your Daughter