Chapter 8
eight
HUDSON
We make the last ferry back to Liberty by the skin of our teeth. I had to make some business calls from the car after our therapy session and then we went to Ayda’s favorite diner for dinner, where she proceeded to fall asleep over her half-eaten sundae. So I carried her back to the car and fastened her into her car seat and let her rest while I made the trip back to the dock. Once aboard, I made a couple more calls and replied to some emails that my assistant marked as urgent.
Ayda lets out a soft snore – another sound that isn’t talking – and I look back at her to check that she’s okay. Her eyes are closed, her eyelashes fluttering against her pink cheeks. She looks so damn peaceful it makes me feel wistful.
I don’t think I’ve ever been that relaxed in my life.
Needing some fresh air, I open the door and climb out of the car, inhaling the night ocean air. It’s warm and salty and somehow centering.
From the corner of my eye I see Jesse wave at me. He’s one of the island kids that stayed here – there aren’t many of them. Most leave at the first chance. I know I did. I went to college then grad school and ended up in New York working for an investment firm before striking out on my own.
And one by one my brothers and then my sisters left too. Now Autumn and I are back.
“Nice night,” Jesse shouts out.
“Sure is.” I nod at him. I don’t know Jesse that well. He’s more Autumn’s age than mine. But I know his family and I know they have their secrets the way all families do. But they’re not my concern, not really.
“Gonna go get ready to moor up,” he calls. “Last run of the night.”
“Sure.” I nod, taking one last breath of the freshest air before I climb back into the car and close the door softly so I don’t disturb my kid. I look out of the windshield at the approaching island. The houses are all lit up in the center of town, but darkness surrounds it. In the distance, I can see the glow of the lamps that lead to the hotel, and to the right, the lighthouse.
Where Autumn and Parker are. Probably all cozy and in each others’ arms. I push that horrifying thought out of my brain.
Bringing my gaze back to the main town in front of me, I see the light blazing in the living quarters of The Salty Dog.
Where she is.
If I close my eyes I can see her in picture-perfect detail. The dark, glossy hair that falls in a tumble of waves past her shoulders. The golden skin that comes from genetics, not a spray bottle or too many hours spent in the sun. And those lips that seem to taunt me no matter where I am or what I’m trying to do.
Especially at night when I’m trying to fall asleep.
“Just be kind to yourself.”
Dr. Methi’s words echo around my head. Right now I’m not sure if being kind to myself would be paying Skyler Brown to leave this damn island for good, or fucking her until we’re both breathless and sweaty.
All I know is I don’t like this feeling of being out of control. I don’t like anything that pierces my strictly regimented life. My only concerns are Ayda and my family, everything else doesn’t matter.
I’m so deep in thought that I don’t hear the knock on my window until Jesse raps his knuckles on the glass a second time. I press the button to lower it, and he leans in, an easy smile on his prematurely sun weathered face.
“Hey,” he says. “I meant to ask you, have you met her yet?”
“Met who?”
“Skyler.” His eyes light up as he looks over at the bar.
I follow his gaze to The Salty Dog. “Yes. You?”
“Only when she got on the ferry over here. It was pouring that day so I didn’t get a chance to say hi.”
It dawns on me. “You didn’t tell her?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
“Will you?”
“Sometime.” He gives me a tight smile. “Anyway, she seems nice, huh?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Real nice.”
We’re almost at the dock now. I look pointedly at it and Jesse wrinkles his nose. “Best go tie the ropes. Have a good evening.”
“You too.”
I look at The Salty Dog one more time as I start my engine up. And once the ferry is moored and I drive off onto the main road, I slow down as I drive past the bar.
She’s inside. And I’m becoming stupidly obsessed about a woman I have no interest in apart from a fucking lip piercing that annoys me and a body that reminds me what I can never have.
But I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing inside.
Wishing I was in there, watching her. And yes, that makes me a fucking voyeur, I know that. Even if it is only in my mind.
* * *
SKYLER
“Hi,” I say breathlessly as I walk into Brewed Awakenings a few days later, my thigh muscles protesting because I practically ran up the road to the coffee shop, mostly because I have to pass Eileen’s By The Sea and I felt guilty knowing I’d be talking to her sister.
I have no idea how the people of Liberty have managed to cope with this bloody feud for so long without spontaneously combusting. Last night when I came back from a walk on the beach to clear my head I waved and called out to Eileen when she was passing the bar, only to realize it was Mylene when she pinched her nose between her thumb and forefinger as she passed Eileen’s house.
“The usual?” Mylene asks me as I walk in, which is a bit of a surprise because it’s only the second time I’ve been in here. Are you even allowed to have a usual after one visit?
And yet I love that I have a usual. I’ve never lived anywhere long enough to have one before.
“Um, yes please.” I hesitate, and then add, in case she has me mixed up with somebody else, “An iced latte please.”
She gives me such a beaming smile that I start to wonder if there’s a third twin. Or triplet. Because both Eileen and Mylene have been pretty short with me until now.
“I didn’t realize you were Wayne’s girl,” she says. “You should have said something the other day.”
I blink. “I thought everybody knew.” I put my phone on the card reader, my bangles jingling as the reader beeps. “Who did you think I was?”
“Oh, one of Hudson Fitzgerald’s fangirls,” she says. “We get a lot of women visiting the island who are interested in him. He hates it.”
Laughter bubbles up in my throat. “I’m definitely not one of those,” I assure her. Then I see a photograph of him over her shoulder, along with a lot of others on the wall. She follows my gaze.
“Such a good man,” she says. “He helped me with this place. I thought I was going to lose it, but then he helped me pay my debts and for the renovations. Now look at it.”
I nod, not wanting to hear that he’s a good guy. I much prefer thinking of him as the devil.
“And then there’s what he’s done for the other businesses on the island. He’s our angel investor.” She smiles. “That’s why we make sure he’s not stalked by all those wannabe rich girls. Did you know some of them post on that TickyTock?” she asks. “They’re looking for a guy in finance.”
“I had no idea,” I tell her, trying not to laugh at her name for the video app.
Then I feel a warm hand on my shoulder.
When I turn, a tall sandy haired man is looking at me. His eyes look familiar as they crinkle with a shy smile.
“Skyler?” he says, his voice as shy as his expression.
“Yes.” He has the kind of rugged face you can only get from working outside. “I’m sorry, have we met?”
“On the boat, when you came over.”
Oh, he’s the guy in the yellow raincoat from the ferry. That makes sense. I immediately feel myself relaxing because he’s not after something. And I hate that I initially thought that but I’ve lived long enough to know that when a stranger approaches you they usually either want your body or want to con you out of money.
Often, both.
“I meant to stop by the bar to see how you’re getting along, but time got the better of me. I had a gig on the mainland and then I had to work.”
“A gig?” I ask, immediately interested. “What kind of gig?”
“I play the guitar and sing a little.” He looks almost embarrassed. I can see the pink of his skin beneath the sandy scruff of his beard. “I used to play at The Dog before…” he trails off. “Anyway, hi. Have you settled in yet?”
I wrinkle my nose. “It’s a work in progress, but it’s fine.” Truth is, I’m still going through Dad’s stuff. Bit by bit. I can’t stand to sort through things longer than an hour a day. It hurts, knowing that he bought these clothes to wear, not for me to bag them up to donate to charity.
The weirdest thing is his freezer. It’s full of pizzas and ready meals and every time I look inside I want to cry. He bought them fully intending to eat them and now he never will.
I won’t either. It just feels wrong somehow. I’m going to have to throw it all away but it feels like a waste. I don’t know what to do with it so I’ve left it. I haven’t told Lee that because she’ll think I’m some kind of over-sentimental idiot.
I probably am.
“But I don’t know that I’m settled in.” Mylene hands me my iced coffee, then pours a cup of drip for Jesse. “I guess I might never be. Depends how long I stay.”
His brows pinch as though he doesn’t like that answer. “I hope you do. I hope you open The Dog back up.”
I blink, because the man is probably missing the money from his gigs. I’ve heard a few people speculating on when the bar will reopen. I guess it’s important to the island. And the sooner I clean up the sooner I can sell it and the sooner everybody gets their favorite drinking hole back.
“I don’t think I can reopen it,” I say. “I don’t have a liquor licence.”
He tips his head to the side. “That’s not difficult. The local ABC office is right over on the mainland. You just have to show them your documentation and pay a fee.”
“ABC office?” I ask.
“Alcoholic Beverage Control. They issue all the licences for Liberty.”
“Doesn’t it take forever for them to process?” I ask. I don’t know why I’m even considering it. Lee would kill me if I stayed here long term. So would Mom.
“Usually, unless you know somebody with some power there.” He shrugs. “Hudson Fitzgerald got the licence for the hotel in three days.”
Of course he did. “I don’t know anybody there,” I say. I don’t know anybody anywhere. I don’t even want to run a bar.
Do I?
“Speak of the devil,” Jesse murmurs as we walk out of the coffee shop together. I see Hudson in the distance, one hand holding his phone to his ear as he barks something into the mouthpiece, the other holding his daughter’s as she skips beside him.
I take a sip of coffee. “I don’t think he’ll be any help,” I say to Jesse. “He wants to buy the bar. I can’t see him pushing the licence through for me.”
“He would if we all asked him to,” Jesse says. And for some reason it makes me feel warm that at least one person wants me to stay. I don’t think it’s because he’s attracted to me. Or at least I hope he’s not. If he is, he’s doing a good job of hiding it behind friendliness.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a handsome man. Tall, muscled, with the kind of good looks you’d expect on a lumberjack in a Hallmark Movie. Once upon a time – okay most of the time – he’d be my type.
But there’s no spark there. Unlike…
Hudson turns around, still speaking fast into his phone, and spots Jesse and me standing outside the coffee shop. His eyes wander over the clothes I’m wearing today – an ankle length brown and pink paisley skirt, with a white tank and a thick vintage leather belt I’ve cinched at the waist.
When his gaze reaches my face I give him a smirk. He doesn’t smile back. Instead, he says something to his daughter and she pulls him into the bookshop on the other side of the road.
“I should go,” I say, because that man always discombobulates me. “Thank you for being so kind,” I say to Jesse. I think I needed it.
“You’re… Wayne’s kid,” he says, stuttering over his words. “We loved him. And I know for a fact he loved you.”
“You knew my dad well?” I ask. A lump thickens in my throat.
“Yeah.” He nods, pressing his lips together like he doesn’t know what to say next.
“Do you think…” I take a deep breath. “Could you tell me about him sometime?”
Those pale lips curl into a smile. “I’d love to.”
“Great,” I say. “Thank you.”
“If you give me your number, I’ll check my work schedule. I can bring those forms over for you, if you like?”
“Forms?” I say.
“The ones for the ABC licence.”
Oh God, I’d already forgotten about that. “Sure,” I say. “Great idea.” I can always tell him I’ve changed my mind when we talk next. I take out my phone and we exchange numbers. He stands there for a minute like he’s trying to make a decision.
Then he puts his coffee on an empty table next to us and reaches for me, folding me in his thick, muscled arms, burying his face in my hair.
The sudden embrace takes me by surprise. Which is stupid, because nobody on this island behaves the way I assumed they would. Still, there’s a warmth in the pit of my stomach because this is the first physical contact I’ve had with anybody since I’ve been here.
I’ve always been a hugger. And this man is a natural one. I look up at him and smile and he grins back.
“Thank you,” I say to him. “I think I needed that.”
“Yeah.” He nods. “I think we both did.”
It’s only when he walks away that I feel a weird prickle in my neck like I’m being watched. As I turn to the left, I see Ayda pulling Hudson out of the bookshop and pointing at me.
He says something quietly to her and she shakes her head, looking suddenly furious. It makes me smile, because she’s so little yet I’ve never seen her look more like her dad than now.
Stubbornness is in her DNA.
She drags him across the road, and he reluctantly lets her, his eyes stormy as they meet mine. I’ve never seen a man like him be so tamed by a little girl.
When they reach me on the sidewalk she grabs a card from him and shoves it toward me until I take it from her and she beams, like she’s accomplished her mission.
The card is pink with gold lettering. I lift it up to get a closer look at the foiled words shining out from the front of the expensive cardstock.
Miss Ayda Fitzgerald cordially invites you to her sixth birthday party.
The theme is Cool Princes and Princesses. Please come dressed appropriately.
* * *
HUDSON
“You don’t have to come,” I say to Skyler, when Ayda runs into the coffee shop to give Mylene her invitation. “It’s a week away, you’ll probably have left by then.”
And I should be relieved at that thought. I am relieved. Mostly . Up close I can see a line of freckles on her shoulder. They look like a constellation. She tips her head to the side and her hair covers them up and I’m relieved.
“I’m planning to stay for a while,” she says. “So I’ll still be here.”
Of course she fucking is. Why make my life a little difficult when you can make it a lot difficult? I think of the report I got back about her last week. About her transient lifestyle, her poor academic results, the way she dropped out of college and has never held down a job. But she also has no criminal record or anything that stains her past.
And I still fucking want her.
“Aren’t you bored of being here?” I ask.
“Bored of learning about my dad?” she replies. “No, not at all. It’s pretty here. I love the beach and the people are nice. Mostly.” She smiles as she adds the last word. “And I love parties, so…I’ll be there.”
Ayda comes out right as I open my mouth to tell Skyler that I’ll pay for her to stay away.
“Thank you for the invitation,” Skyler says to Ayda, who’s staring up at her like she’s some kind of queen. “I’d love to come to your party. I can’t wait to choose an outfit.”
Ayda jumps up and down excitedly, then throws her arms around Skyler. And I feel that weird twinge in my chest again. I need to make an appointment with my doctor. I’m clearly having heart issues.
My phone starts to buzz and I see that it’s our London office calling back. A deal we’ve been working on for months is on the verge of collapse and the head of investment needs my go-ahead to up the offer.
“Excuse me,” I say, but neither my daughter or the woman who’s driving me up the wall are looking at me. Skyler is leaning down, whispering something in Ayda’s ear. And Ayda nods, her eyes wide, like Skyler’s just suggested they go to Disneyland.
“Fitzgerald,” I croak into the phone.
“They rejected it,” Damien, the head of our London office says.
“Then go for the final offer,” I say, because we all know they can’t do it without my say so.
“What if they reject that?” he asks.
“Then we walk away, but you call me right away and we’ll work out how to fuck them over good and proper,” I growl. “But they won’t because they know they have no other choice.”
It’s only when I look up that I realize both Skyler and my daughter heard me.
“Sorry for swearing,” I say quickly.
“It’s okay,” Damien says, even though that wasn’t meant for him. “I’ll keep you updated.”
“You do that.”
I take a deep breath. “Come on, sweetheart,” I say to my daughter. “Let’s go home. Autumn’s taking you to see the horses this afternoon.”
Instead of listening to me, my kid looks up and sees Eileen outside the guest house and snatches another invitation out of my pocket before I can point out what a bad idea that would be.
She runs past Skyler, who watches her open-mouthed, before she turns to me.
“Eileen and Mylene?” she says. “In one place?”
I pinch my nose between my fingers. Skyler is new and already knows what a bad idea this is.
“I fucking hate parties,” I mutter. Her laugh is so breathy it sends a shot of desire right down to my dick.
“Well if I wasn’t going to come before, I definitely am now,” she says. “It’ll be the party of the century, how could I miss it?”
“Maybe it’ll rain,” I say. She smells of damn flowery glades and it makes me want her even more.
“What you said about maybe staying a while, you were kidding, right?” I ask her.
She rolls onto her tiptoes until her mouth is close to my ear. I automatically reach out to steady her, my palms curling around her waist.
“In your dreams,” she whispers. I turn to face her and her lips are so close to mine I can feel the warmth of her breath on my mouth. It takes all the restraint I have not to close the fucking gap and kiss this woman in the middle of the street. Because I want to kiss her. I want to dominate her. I want to show her she’s playing with fire.
Thankfully she rolls back, pulling out of my hold and my hands hover in mid-air like they miss her already. I let out a sigh. Near miss averted.
“I’ll see you at the party,” she says, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “I’ll be the one dressed as a slutty princess.”
Yeah, I’m almost certain she will, just to drive me out of my mind.
Weirdly, it’s the only part of the party I might actually look forward to.