Chapter 6
Iwait impatiently outside of Luca’s room.
Running my fingers through my hair, I wish we could just get this over with, but Doc refused to let me in there until he had checked Luca over.
At least, there’s the sound of movement here.
It’s so fucking quiet in the house with all of the Boys gone.
Even waking up without Midas was a struggle.
Although, it’s not like I actually slept much.
Doc comes out of the room and his cold eyes study me. “Don’t upset him. I will be keeping an eye on his vitals, and I won't hesitate to kick you out if you do. He needs to rest. Don’t fuck this up.”
The “as well” is silent but loud. I incline my head slightly, the only acknowledgment I’m willing to give him.
I’m still pissed he let my Boys leave, regardless of how fucking innocent he pretends to be.
I don’t bother knocking, I just stroll in, and for a moment, the role reversal throws me into the past. Shaking my head, I focus on the fact it’s Luca in that fucking bed and not me.
“What happened?” I sit next to him, leaning on my forearms. His gaze roams my face. What he’s looking for, I’m not sure. He doesn’t seem to find it, though.
Clearing his throat, he nervously twists his hands in the bedding.
“I fucked up. I received a text saying there was an emergency, and to get to the airport. I rushed over here, and pretty much as soon as I stepped off the plane, I got kidnapped. They spent the whole time trying to get information on the Family, and when I refused…well, let’s just say they got to relieve any anger issues they had. ”
“Why the fuck didn’t you call before coming?” I stare at him, flabbergasted that he just fucking assumed it was one of us.
With a sarcastic laugh, he shakes his head. “Because I always come when it’s you. Fuck knows why, but I do. I thought that it was Hollis who messaged me, and I wasn’t going to call him back after he stabbed me.”
I rub at my temples, as the headache I’ve had since I got up increases in intensity. “Fuck. Alright, well, we need to figure out who is behind this. I’m glad you’re home. I’ll definitely need your leadership skills.”
“Uh…” Luca winces as he tries to reposition himself in the bed. “I’m…not staying. Not permanently.”
“What do you mean?” I drop my hands and squeeze them into fists.
Taking a deep breath, he looks at me. “I came back to help you. That’s it. This…isn’t my home anymore.”
Scowling, I glare at him. “This is your home. I said that before you left. No matter what, this is your place. You will always be my Boy, and I need you here.”
“This is not my place. Not anymore. When I left… I know you were giving me an opportunity, but honestly? It didn’t really feel that way. But it genuinely was the best thing you could have done. I… Well, I found my place—and my people.
“I came back because I believed I owed it to you, to make sure you were safe. But you’re no longer my Master.
However, I’m at the point now where I can give you actual friendship.
You have Lio and the other Boys. I know they have your back.
And I have a new life.” He doesn’t flinch as he meets me heads on, even as fatigue shows in his eyes.
“And speaking of the other Boys. I know they were pissed last time, but I expected Lio to still be your shadow.”
Grinding my teeth, I roll my shoulders back, hoping to relieve some of this unending tension. Fuck. This cannot be happening. I snap out, “They’re not fucking here. They left. All of them.”
Luca blinks at me, and I struggle to sit still under his weighty stare. “What happened? Lio would never leave you. Not willingly.”
“Well, he did. He walked right out the door, after having Cristian and me drugged, and he took the rest of them with him. So he can play at being the Boss of the O’Connel Family.”
“What the fuck did you do?” Luca growls, his hand slamming down on the bed next to him. “Did you hurt him?”
“He’s fine. He's probably fucking Hollis and not giving a shit.”
Luca’s jaw drops as he studies me. His mouth closes with an audible snap of his teeth.
“You have to be fucking kidding me. Even I know that’s bullshit.
It wouldn’t matter if he’s having a relationship with Hollis, he’d never walk away without a reason.
He’d put you first. So tell me…did you put him first? ”
I stand up, my chair screeching against the floor as it moves back.
Throwing up my hands, I struggle not to scream.
“I made decisions. Ones that as his Master—as the Boss—needed to be done. They fucked up while Cristian and I were gone. Ignacio touched Roman, so Cristian punished him. He’ll live, but the way the rest of them reacted, it’s like they were planning his fucking funeral.
Cristian is mine and his ruling stands.”
“You’ve lost your mind,” Luca whispers, his eyes widening. “And let me guess…when you chose Cristian’s side in this, you didn’t explain why to Lio, or take any time to reassure him? What—did you just throw him in the black room?”
Scoffing, I cross my arms. “There’s no black room. They tore it out in case the cops came with a warrant, which they did. But fuck, yes, if it was still here, Emilio would have found his ass in it.”
“Then how did you punish him? I know you did. He wouldn’t have left until you made it deeply personal.”
I glance away. “I reminded him of his place—under me.”
The silence builds between us, but I refuse to break it. Finally, he does, but as his soft words echo through the room, they send chills down my skin. “I swear to God, if you tell me you raped him…”
“He needed reminding that I own him. Always.”
“You can't even say it, can you? How does it feel knowing you're no better than Peter? After everything Lio has gone through, and how much he's stood by you when you don't deserve it…” Luca’s voice is thick with emotion, and I finally turn my attention back to him. “Don’t you get it? He would have done anything for you—fuck, he always has.”
“I don't fucking need this. I know you want to leave, but I need you here, at least for a bit. Are you going to help me bring them to heel or not?”
“I never thought I'd see this day. And you've done some fucked up things.
No. There's no way in hell I'd put him through that.
I'll put you in the ground before I help you terrorize the one person who has truly loved you. I finally know what love is, and he was completely devoted to you.” The machines measuring his vitals start spitting out a warning as he drags himself further up the bed, so he can sit up straight.
“I want you to get out, but there's one more thing before you go. When you go to bed alone—or fuck, for all I know, warm Cristian’s bed—I want you to think about how you tossed away all that was good in your life.
Think of that when the memories seep in.
Because while you're thinking of revenge?
The man you swore you loved left while you were unconscious.
Not because he's a coward—but because you are.”
I turn on my heel, not giving him the satisfaction of saying anything, and push out the door as Doc and Soren are standing to come in to check on my ex-Boy.
I hold up my hand, refusing to say anything.
Not now. Not when I feel like my entire being has been ripped open.
Not when I’m unsure if my soul will ever unfreeze again.
Because I can’t say the words aloud—the words that verify just how right Luca is about this. And worse? That I do know.
I know exactly what I lost, because Emilio took the only good part of me and walked right out of that door. How the hell do I even begin to live without him? How the fuck do I put one foot in front of the other, when he’s the one who is usually right by my side?
Fuck. The only thing I can do is hope he comes home, because this is home for him—he belongs with me, and I belong with him.
I close my eyes and clench my teeth, as I can hear the echo of my father’s laughter, mocking me for my weakness.
I was kidnapped and now I’m hurting over a man? Fuck, what the hell is happening to me…
Love. I shudder. No, I can’t go there. Luca may be right, but I don’t have to give in to the twisted emotions that urge me to go to Emilio and beg, to make more of a fool of myself than I already have. I can’t dishonor my family name any further.