Chapter 9
Following Lio into Roman’s room in the medical area of the house, I can’t help but be concerned about him. Neither he nor Antonio said much over dinner, but the underlying conversation, the implication of what they refused to say aloud…
Everything in me is screaming to take him aside and help him through whatever pain and trauma he’s endured.
I can’t though. Partly because I don’t think he’ll let me, but mostly because if this partnership is going to work, then the three of us have to trust and work together.
We cannot turn into Cristian and Allesandro.
Roman and Leandro are waiting for us. “How was dinner?” Roman asks.
“It was…interesting,” I tell him, then I look at Leandro. “You mean you haven’t bugged this house?”
The boy shrugs. “Not yet. I’ve been busy trying to get settled, picking out an office for me and Hollis.
Which…do you think we could have someone get our equipment from the condo?
Yeah, H and I are working on getting stuff to build more computers, but it’ll be easier if we have our own rigs without having to rebuild—again. ”
Roman and I exchange a look, and I address the boy. “We’ll discuss it…later. With Tennant, because that is incredibly risky. Not only do we not know if the LEOs are watching the property, but Cristian could easily be monitoring it as well…”
Leandro sighs. “Fine. Discuss it and let me know. I’m guessing I’m going to be getting kicked out now?”
“Yes. This meeting needs to be just us,” Roman tells him.
“So boring. I could have been your secretary.”
“Out,” Roman says, narrowing his eyes at his best friend. “And don’t leave any recording devices behind or anything.”
“Where’s the trust?” Leandro pouts.
“I trust you as far as I can throw you. Now, please, out.”
“Whatever, Boss.”
Roman rolls his eyes as Leandro pushes himself backwards, Lio and I moving out of the way so he can turn and leave the room. Carefully, I shut the door behind him, while Lio does a quick sweep to make sure no bugs got left behind. It’s not that we don’t trust Leandro but, well, we don’t trust him.
I know he respects Hollis and Roman enough to not do anything that would put them in jeopardy, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try to get something out of the situation if he could.
I want to believe underneath the severe level of psychopathy he displays is someone who actually cares, but I also know he was predestined to be a little shit from the start, simply because of who his father was.
“So, what did I miss over dinner?” Roman asks, looking between us. “I hate to say it, but you look like shit, Amico Mio.”
Lio gives a short laugh and drops into a chair by Roman’s bed.
“Thanks. I haven’t slept in…however many days since this all started.
I mean, I napped before we rescued Luca, and…
laid down with Allesandro that same night, but I didn’t sleep much then.
Or since. Even the break Keegan forced me to take earlier was restless. It’ll get better.”
Roman doesn’t look like he believes him, but turns his attention to me instead. “And you?”
I shrug a little. “I slept some after the rescue. I had Cole today, and took a small nap when he did—at Keegan’s insistence. I’m sure they’ll bully me to bed tonight.”
“Both of you need to take care of yourself. I don’t have a choice, the pain is still sharp enough that I need meds, which eventually make me drowsy, so I end up falling asleep. I need you both. We need to be able to make sound decisions; that can’t happen if either of you are compromised.”
“Worry about getting better, not us,” Lio tells him firmly. “What has Dr. Ranlen said?”
Roman sighs and shrugs a shoulder. “The move didn’t aggravate any of my injuries, but she wants me to stay in bed for a few more days before trying to move.
She and Benjamin will be putting together a plan to keep me active, but also to make sure I don’t hurt myself further.
I am so sick and tired of feeling as if I’m missing out on things because I can’t move on my own.
It’s bad enough I can barely feed myself right handed, but not being able to walk because I can’t use crutches due to my hand and my ribs?
Not being able to sit properly? It’s fucking demeaning.
” Lio reaches for his hand, and Roman clings to him.
“You just scolded us, and said we needed to take care of ourselves so we can do this together. The same goes for you.”
I take a seat on Roman’s other side. “He’s right. This is a team effort, which means it’s a team ‘take care of yourself or else’ speech.”
Roman laughs and then grimaces. “Fine. I’ll save my bitching and moaning for the doc and my lovers. Speaking of which, have you checked on Ignacio?”
“He’s fine. Dr. Ranlen said she’s going to start weaning him off the sedation soon and bring him around.”
“Yeah, she said that earlier.” Roman lets out a sigh of relief. “I am just so worried that the move will set him back. Thankfully, he’s been stable, but not being able to see him has caused a lot of stress.”
I set a hand on Roman’s shoulder and squeeze gently. “He’ll be fine. Maybe not immediately, but Dr. Ranlen and the rest of the medical team know what they’re doing.”
“I know, I know. So much has gone on in a short amount of time, I can’t help but doomsday it all.”
“I know, Figlio, but we have to trust the people around us, and each other, that things will get done and to delegate to those right for the job.”
“Right. Like the kitchen staff. Thank you for being able to pull it together so quickly. Dinner was great, and I didn’t have to worry about the damn Martelli chef.”
Roman laughs a little. “It was the least I could do to contribute. I know Joel and Enzo are working with Ten on bringing in more security, and you were able to write up a list of De Luca men, right?”
I nod. “Yes. From both memory, and what I’ve observed over the years working directly with them, I pulled something together. I suggested it get checked by Jude first, since he has more recent firsthand knowledge of some of the moving parts, but I felt…useful.”
“You are,” they say in unison.
“We’re all useful,” Lio continues on. “That’s why this partnership will work. We all have unique skillsets and perspectives that will help.”
“Leandro called it a Council of Three earlier,” Roman says with a small smile. “I know he did it just to get me thinking, but…I like the idea.”
“Yes,” I agree. “A Council of Three is exactly what we need to be now. Allesandro and Cristian were trying to put both Families back into their versions of what worked, but we proved when they were gone that we could work together and get results, and we will do it again.”
“They think we’ll fail,” Lio whispers. He shakes his head and looks down at where he and Roman are still holding hands.
“He thinks I’m nothing without him, that I’ll fail.
How can that be? He had me trained by his Second, he gave me the position when he sent Luca away.
He taught me everything I know about this life, and yet he doesn’t believe I’m capable?
” When he looks up, there’s a wealth of pain in his eyes.
Lio removes his hand from Roman’s and wraps his arm around himself, as if he’s shielding himself—not from us, but from the man he used to know. I hate that he knows how that feels, that I know how it feels.
“Was it all just a ploy to keep me close? He asked me to marry him to unite the Martellis and O’Connels… Was I just a big joke to him?” Lio’s voice is so small and fragile, and my heart absolutely breaks for him.
The thing is, I saw the love between the two of them.
I saw how broken Allesandro was when Lio was shot and in his coma.
Unless Leandro isn’t the only mimic around, it was real.
But then…I also thought what I had with Cristian was real, that he valued me as a partner and a father. So what do I know?
“It wasn’t,” Roman tells his friend fiercely.
“I was raised to be my father’s successor, and I can tell you that this shit is hard.
I’ve always worried I wouldn’t live up to expectations.
That I was too soft, to femme, too much of everything.
That people wouldn’t take me seriously, that I would destroy everything my father built, simply because I wasn’t the leader I needed to be. ”
Roman’s words make tears form, and a lump in my throat threatens to suffocate me, because no matter what anyone said or did, his insecurities about leading have always been there.
I know Cristian never pushed any expectations on him, aside from giving the boy the training he needed—I would have shut that shit down right away if he did, as I know firsthand what it’s like to not live up to a parent’s expectations.
Hearing that Roman felt Cristian’s shadow was too large to overcome breaks me. Because my son shines brighter than anyone else I’ve ever met, and to know that he’s never felt good enough, but instead, too much of himself…it hurts more than words can say.
“What I can say,” Roman goes on to say, before Lio or I can reassure him.
“Is that I learned a lot about myself in the time they were gone. I learned about the type of leader I wanted to be, and how much I wanted to make my father proud, but by the time we got them back…despite how relieved I was, how I was losing hope by the day…I also hated knowing I would have to step aside once more.” Roman wraps his good arm around himself.
“The first meeting I had with them after they were rescued, it already felt as if I were losing control. They were back for mere hours, still under doctor orders to take it easy and rest, while two important-to-them people were badly injured, yet they thought they could waltz right in and take command. As if they knew anything about the weeks of hell we had all just gone through.”