Chapter 17 Cristian
The glass shattering against the wall does nothing to bank the fire of my rage. It's a waste of good whiskey, but a broken glass is nothing compared to the shards of my heart as my life seems to crumble around me.
“Call didn’t go well?” Allesandro asks as he steps into his office. He looks from the shattered glass to me.
“I’m sorry, I’ll replace it.”
He waves my apology off and walks around to sit behind the desk. It should feel awkward to be sitting across from another Boss like this, but with him…everything is right. It's the only thing that feels right at the moment.
“No,” I finally answer his question. “The call didn’t go well, mainly because it didn’t happen. I am apparently not worthy of being on their call list anymore.”
He frowns. “Do you think something happened?”
“Yeah,” I growl. “Fucking Tennant happened. He and Roman have been dealing with the Brazilians from the beginning. Ten thought it was too risky for me to take the meet.” I let out a sharp laugh. “So he ended up bringing Roman along as a test.”
“That seems to be a contradiction?”
“I want to say he had reasons for his decisions, but…now, I don’t know. I never expected such betrayal from him. Not after everything we’ve been through.”
“I’m sorry my Family has caused so much trouble with yours, Dolce Cuore. This is why I wanted to split apart as soon as possible when we first returned.”
I try for a smile, but I know I fail. “It’s not your fault. You did what you thought was right; we both did.”
“I do not regret backing you… As a Boss, you had a right to protect your Family. More so as a father.”
I shake my head. “You should. My actions ruined your Family.”
He tilts his head. “You seem more concerned with my Family than your own.”
I do smile this time, though it’s not a nice feeling.
“Carter and Roman will come back. Roman is too insecure to take the mantle of Boss up for too long, not after getting a taste while we were kidnapped. He relies heavily on Tennant and Hollis, and Ten…he’s spiraling.
That’s the only explanation I have for what he said.
For him to choose Benjamin over me…he’s not in his right mind.
Eventually, Hollis will tire of the games and put him in check, it’s only a matter of time.
“As for Carter? My husband never wanted to rule. He’s the bastard son of a father who hated him, the spare to a brother who did his best to tear him down. He’ll be back, eventually.” Every word feels like acid, but I can’t stop the dangerous, tumbling thoughts from spilling out.
“It’s your Boys I’m most worried about. Roman…is used to getting his way. It’s my fault. I was so determined to not become my uncle, to give him the childhood Ten and I never had, that I spoiled him far too much. I’m afraid of him turning your Emilio and Chaos against you.”
Allesandro grimaces, his intense eyes flashing with regret, pain, and anger. “Luca…said some things that weren’t entirely wrong when it comes to Emilio. I could have explained the situation better, made him see reason when it came to my decision to back you, but that isn’t your fault, Sweetheart.”
“Feels like it. I don’t regret what I did. I can’t, because that would mean I don’t stand by my own decisions as a Boss, and you know how dangerous of a slope that can be.” I do regret hurting my son, though. That will always be my shame to carry.
He inclines his head in agreement. “It’s what makes getting Emilio to understand difficult.
I can get my Boys under control, they know the rules.
My word is law, but Emilio… He seems to be under the impression that being the de facto O’Connel heir means he’s my equal.
I will get him back; I’ll get them all back. ”
For his sake, I hope so. Sighing, I let it go, knowing I have to trust him with what is right for his own Family. Getting us back on the track of work, I ask, “Did you get your people to build new security around your networks?”
“Yeah. They should be done now. I think we found all the bugs, but we’ll do another sweep of the house to be sure.
I still want to know how a boy in a wheelchair, with a dog by his side, managed to bug every single room in this house without being caught.
I’m not saying he’s incapable because of his disability, but there’s no way he would have been able to get upstairs without help. ”
I huff a laugh. “I’ve learned over the years, Cuore Mio, to not question Leandro; if there’s a way, he’ll find it. Remember what I said when we were locked up? If the worst should ever happen, he’ll manage to be the last one standing.”
“No matter, it’s over and done with now. He can try to break back into my systems all he wants, but I am paying good money to keep him out.”
I can only hope that’s enough. Roman would be heartbroken if Il Padrone is forced to kill his friend because he’s a troublemaker.
“While I seem to no longer have access to my main supplier, we still have a good hand in the smaller ventures. They won’t bring in much money, since my buyers are used to what the Brazilians can supply, but it’s more than nothing.
I need to check in with my dealers, I’m hoping it’s not too late for them. ”
“Your foothold in the drug market is stronger than my own. Marcus has already been redirecting the men—I’m assuming on Ignacio’s behalf.
He is in charge of my weapons trade, but…
unless he has decided to fuck himself over, he will only mess with that on the small scale.
He’s aware of how much trust I’ve given him in order to run that part of the business—they all are, but he will be the one looking at it from a strategic point of view first, emotional later.
“The whorehouse has likewise gone silent on me, which pisses me off. Antonio has always been one of the most loyal Boys, but no matter, I will get him back under control. I am disappointed in him, and in Jude. I was considering allowing them to be together, because they were the two that were least problematic. However, now…”
I wince. “Mi dispiace, Cuore Mio.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Cristian. Nothing. Non è colpa tua se la tua famiglia pensa di poter possedere il mio.”
“All the same, I know it is Hollis and Roman leading this charge. Tennant…he has always been loyal to me. Always. That was not something I ever had to question.”
“And then he met Benjamin.” Regret and sorrow crosses Allesandro’s face for a moment. “I should have killed him when I had the chance.”
I don’t say anything because his Family is not my place. Though I agree, he should have. By his rules, Benjamin broke them all, and he did it in a way that irrevocably destroyed everyone around him.
There’s nothing I can say though, even if this is the second time he’s chosen to spare someone who deserves to die…
Though the first is currently still in this house, so maybe that gives Luca a pass.
Or at least proves he’s learned something about loyalty in his banishment.
The same can’t be said for Ten’s topolino.
Before anything else can be discussed, the desk phone rings and Allesandro picks it up quickly, his features subtly changing from the regretful, abandoned Master, to the hardened Head of Family.
His words are terse, and with each one, my concern grows. When he slams the phone back down, I worry for a moment that it didn’t survive the rough handling, before turning my attention back to more important matters.
“What happened?”
“It seems things are worse than we believed. The few still loyal to me were supposed to pick up a shipment tonight; as I explained, that is Marcus’s purview. We anticipated he would try to do something shady on Emilio’s behalf, so I had the shipment moved up.”
I nod, remembering we put all of this into motion days ago, when we first discovered they were poaching from our ranks.
“Well, it seems my War has decided to use all I taught him against me.”
“They didn’t…”
Fire lights his blue eyes. “Oh, but they did. They not only stole my men and my Boys, but my biggest suppliers as well.”
I tap my fingers on the arm of my chair. “What are the odds you’ve lost your allegiance with the west side gang?”
He grimaces. “High. Ignacio is the one with the contact, why?”
“Because I might not have weapons to sell to Petrov, but I have his nephew, and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that he values family as much as I do—maybe more considering he sent Soren away for his own safety.”
“You’d leverage him? What about Doc? He’s still loyal.”
I shake my head. “Doc isn’t here for me.
At best, he’s here to make sure Luca stays alive; he’s arrogant enough to see it as a personal failing should he die.
No, Doc has always done whatever he wanted, ever since I met him.
He’s contrary enough to not want to follow anyone else, and ruthless in his own right that, should he deem either of us a danger, he won’t hesitate to put us down.
” I keep my gaze locked on his, choosing my words carefully, knowing that if Doc ever discovers what I’m about to do, my blood will be the next to stain his scalpel.
“If we need to, we can use the trips and Soren against him and Petrov. I will not leverage Petrov, so much as remind him he trusted me enough with his nephew’s well-being.
As for Doc…he’ll do anything to protect his Daddy. ”
“As a good Boy should. Very well, we have that in our back pockets should we need it.”
“I’ll caution you, Padrone. Showing your hand too early will alienate him, and it won’t end well for you. I understand Doc isn’t…everyone’s cup of tea, but unless he makes an overture that shows where his true loyalties lie, do not go head-to-head with him.”
“I’ll take that under advisement.”
I watch my friend…my love, as stress mars his features, and his eyes seem duller than before with nothing to focus on.
Standing, I walk around the desk, sinking to my knees as he turns his chair to watch me.
“What are you doing?”
I set my hands on his thighs. “What does it look like?”
“You don’t have to do this, Sweetheart.”
“You need it. I need it. So much has happened recently…when was the last time you took a minute for yourself?”
He hesitates, and I see that pain once again, the deep-seated one that tells me he’s missing his favorite Boy. Well…I may not be a replacement for Emilio, but… I don’t think I’m so bad.
“Let me. Please?” I pray he doesn't hear the tremor in my voice, as I haven't touched anyone since meeting Carter… But I need something, anything, to make the acid dissipate…
He fists my hair and I swallow back a moan, my cock thickening. “You want this?”
I grin. “I can be your equal just as easily from my knees…or do you think less of me in this position?”
He runs a gentle thumb across my bottom lip. “Never.”
“Well then?” I raise a brow.
“I’m not stopping you, not if it’s what you really want.”
In answer, I undo his pants with only slightly shaky hands, pulling out his mostly-soft cock. It doesn’t stay soft for long, though. Not when I lower my head, groaning at the delicious sting from his hand in my hair, and take him into my mouth.
He grows hard as he slides along my tongue, and we both moan at the sensation. Allesandro lets me play with him for a bit, easing him in and out of my mouth, opening my throat for him as I get higher on my knees and sink lower on his dick.
Closing my eyes, all I can do is imagine his thick length filling my ass, his knife and teeth against my skin as he makes me his.
Swallowing him down, I groan, encouraging him to hold me there as he grunts and starts to lift his hips.
When he realizes I won’t fight him, that I want this, he gives in, owning my mouth like he already owns my heart.
And the pieces that still love my husband shatter, even as my soul sings at having my heart take what's rightfully his.
It’s rough and brutal, and for one panicked moment, I’m not sure he’s aware of who’s mouth he’s fucking. And then he pulls me back by my hair and kisses me, his mouth and tongue owning mine.
“I got you, Dolce Cuore.”
When he guides me back onto his cock, I know his words are the truth, and I have never felt safer, or more cared for.