Chapter 19 Hollis
“You good here?” I ask Leandro.
“Yeah, fine. All the cameras are online, and H is finishing up with the security to prevent any backhacking from those dickheads Il Padrone hired to try to keep us out of his systems.”
I snort. “Yeah, he should have just saved himself the money, and us the extra five minutes.”
“Five? More like two for me. You’re getting slow in your old age, Hol.”
“Don’t call me Hol,” I say absently, double checking that all of my automations are up and running.
Pushing my chair back from the desk, I lock my computer.
I doubt I have to worry about anyone messing with my shit, but habits are hard to break.
“Call me if you need anything, I’ll be back soon; I’m going to check on Roman and then Ten. ”
“Tennant is currently wiping the floor with whoever is stupid enough to let him,” he says.
I hum in agreement. “All the more reason to drag him away.”
“Have fun.”
I huff at the bland tone Leandro uses. He doesn’t bother looking away from his screen as I pass, stopping to give Boston a pet before leaving the office.
Dropping by the medical suite, I find Jude with Roman.
“How are you doing?” I ask, after greeting him with a kiss.
Roman shrugs. “Bored out of my fucking mind. Ten and Joel, along with Carter, Marcus, and Keegan, did most of the heavy-lifting for the soldiers, and making sure all three Families have decent amounts of help. Ten was talking about having Joel and Enzo do tests for those in training, in order to speed up their advancement.”
Great. I’m sure Tennant just loves that. He’s picky as it is when it comes to the level of training and years spent in any one rotation.
“I’m going to go check on him. He…hasn’t been doing well since speaking with Cristian.”
Roman’s expression darkens. “I’m still not happy Dr. Ranlen didn’t let me be upstairs with you.”
I run a hand through his messy dark hair. “I know, but she was right. It’s not good for your ribs, they’re still too fucked up to risk moving you too much. He’s…dealing. It’ll take time, but we’re all here for him.”
“Another reason to be pissed at Dad, fucking Tennant up.”
“He loves you,” Jude tells him. “No matter what Cristian has said or done recently, he loves you. Take it from someone who didn’t have unconditional love from a parent; he may be a fuck up, but his love for you is there, even if it’s gotten lost under whatever is going on with him.”
Doubt crosses the boy’s face, and I hate that he is having to face the fact that his father isn’t infallible.
Like Jude, I learned a long time ago about the betrayal that comes when the person who was supposed to love you unconditionally fails to do so. Seeing Roman also face that is… It makes me wish I had stabbed Cristian on our way out, or allowed Benjamin to.
“Have you been in to see Ignacio?”
Roman rolls his eyes. “Not yet.” He looks up at me, batting his eyelashes. “Wanna take me?”
I sigh. “Will you behave?”
“Of course. But I want to see him. Please? Then you can go find Tennant…maybe drag Benjamin along with you? He’s your little Ten Whisperer mentee.”
Snorting, I lean down and press my lips to his, groaning at the feel of him. It’s been way too long since I’ve had all three of my lovers together at once, even though, in the grand scheme of things, it hasn’t been long at all.
The next time, however, it might not just be the four of us… Tennant’s plan to get a bigger mattress needs to happen sooner rather than later. Especially, since I don’t plan on letting any of my lovers, or theirs, out of bed for a long time once we get the chance.
“Fine. But you’re taking full blame if Dr. Ranlen has a fit.”
Jude and I get him situated in the wheelchair Doc ordered from God knows where. There are methods to how he gets some of his medical supplies that I don’t want to know; Jude and I just approve and send the funds.
When I wheel Roman into Ignacio’s room, we find him getting checked over by Kail, with Benjamin at his side.
The nurse takes one look at Roman and rolls his eyes. “Doc is gonna be pissed if you hurt yourself because you’re not listening to Dr. Ranlen.”
“I’m listening!” Roman protests. “I’m not hobbling around unsupervised. I have Hollis to do my bidding.”
Benjamin frowns at him. “It’ll take longer to heal if you set yourself back because you pushed yourself too far. You’ve already made the fractures in your ribs worse.”
“I’m fine. I needed to be here. You, of all people, can’t fault me for that. Kick my ass in PT later if you need to, Paperotto.”
Ignacio snorts at Roman’s nickname for Benjamin, and holds his hand out for Roman. “I’m glad to see you, Little One. But I don’t want you to push yourself too hard just for me.”
Roman practically melts at the other man’s voice, and I raise an eyebrow at that.
Kail sighs, but helps me push Roman closer to the bed, arranging him so he’s as comfortable as he can be with is ribs, leg, and arm all still injured.
Ignacio is limited in his movements, due to his own wound, and the fact it’s only been a few days since he was weaned of the sedation.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” Roman says in a soft voice.
“Hey, no. Don’t apologize. I’d take more than a gutting for you, Little One. I’d rather not, but…whatever it takes to be with you, Roman, I’d do it.”
Watching the two of them together…how Roman responds to the soft, caring way Ignacio handles him, even though we’re all aware the other man is a hardened warrior and fierce protector, Chaos personified when he needs to be…
There’s something intimate about the way they seem to bring out the vulnerable parts of one another.
It’s what has me getting Benjamin’s attention, nodding my head toward the door. Because I can see the uncertainty and jealousy on his face clear as day. He hesitates for a moment, but when I leave the room, he’s not that far behind me.
Even though he shuts the door, I still walk down the hall, so we’re not overheard.
“Having regrets, Topolino?” I ask, cutting right to the heart of the problem.
He tries to hide his true feelings, his mouth turning down into a frown. “No… At least, not about Roman. I…can see how they’re good together. It’s just hard. He was mine first.”
“Ignacio is no longer yours.”
Benjamin flinches. “Yeah…”
“If you want him to be, you’ll have to talk to Ten; not for permission, but because it’s how these relationships work.
We talk about everything. Nothing happens between my lovers and anyone else without me knowing about it.
Roman won’t care if you decide to take Ignacio back, he’ll welcome it even, because he loves him and wants the best for everyone he cares about.
“Ten will get over himself because he’s so stupidly in love with you, I’m surprised he hasn’t said the words yet.
He’ll bitch about it being nothing but brain chemistry, but I know when he’s in love without him ever saying a word.
And if there’s one person who could ever make him get over his bullshit, it’d be you. I’d pay to see that, even.”
“It doesn’t bother you? I know he’s yours.”
I sigh. “Yes and no. I can’t deny him anything.
He’s never asked me for anything before, so when he asked for you…
it was easy to say yes. I never thought it would turn into what it has, but I don’t regret it.
How can I, when you make him happier than I’ve ever seen?
Tennant will never leave me, ever. But…if he had to, he’d put you before me. ”
Benjamin swallows. “I…that makes me happy to hear, as fucked as it is, because I know he belongs to you. I hate it, but I want him to be happy too, so there’s nothing I can do about it, but…”
I smile softly. “I get it, Topolino. Trust me, I get it better than anyone else will. You and I aren’t so different.
Both possessive of what’s ours. Mine comes from the trauma I went through.
” I fight not to trace my scars, the urge to do so becoming more prominent since that night.
“I can’t give up control because I didn’t have it for so long, and Ten likes when I have control over him.
He likes it when you do, too. It’s why he’ll allow you anything you ever ask for.
Even if he makes sure to leave his mark on you as well.
” I nod at the still-red scar on Benjamin’s collarbone.
He flushes, adjusting his shirt to hide the mark. “I…don’t want to hurt either of them. But I don’t know if I can be that selfish.”
“It’s not selfish to put yourself first, Benjamin. If being with them both will make you happy, then take the opportunity. Just don’t fuck with Tennant’s emotions, because I am not Il Padrone; there are no second chances for fuck ups.”
He stands straighter, determination in his sea green eyes. “I won’t. I can learn from my mistakes.”
“Good.” Pulling my phone out, I check the cameras, snorting at what I see.
“Come on then. I was going to go save the men from Ten, but I think we need to save Tennant from your best friend.” Benjamin looks at me in confusion and I show him my screen, where Tennant and Lio are sparring.
His eyes widen and I laugh a little. “You can cuddle Ten’s bruises better while I take care of the puppy. ”
He chuckles. “Deal.”
He follows me out of the medical suite, and I hope it’s a positive sign. Trust is hard to come by these days, especially when it comes to the people I love. Benjamin has far more than anyone else ever will.
Whatever choice Benjamin makes, he better be damned sure he meant what he said. Tennant wouldn’t handle a broken heart well, and I refuse to allow that to happen… Not to mention my poor Emilio would be hurt if his best friend has to be put down… Messy. So fucking messy.
Ten might have a good reason for not acknowledging his feelings, it sounds so much simpler than everything else.