Chapter 14
Colton
My eyes open slowly, and for a second, I have no idea where I am.
Then I remember. Ronan’s room. Morning light pours through the open curtains, turning everything gold and making the room feel even larger than it did last night.
I stretch beneath the blankets, my back popping, my muscles loosening one by one.
I can’t remember the last time I slept that hard.
Then panic hits.
“Fuck, Ollie.”
I bolt upright and scan the room. He’s not here. Neither is Ronan. My heart jumps straight into my throat. Where is he? Where did he take him? I’m on my feet before I can think better of it, hurrying out of the room and down the stairs two at a time. I almost trip when I reach the bottom.
Ollie is sitting in his highchair, happily eating breakfast like nothing is wrong. Relief hits me so hard my knees go weak for a second. Ronan is leaning against the counter nearby, shirtless, his sleep pants hanging low on his hips. For a second, I forget how to breathe all over again.
“Good morning. You’re safe,” he says to me.
“What?”
“I said good morning, you are safe,” he repeats slowly this time.
“I heard you, but why are you saying it?”
“It’s what Siri said that you need to do when a baby wakes up in the morning. Honestly, you should know that.”
At first, I think he’s joking, but he’s as stoic as ever. There was a seriousness to his tone that wasn’t usually there.
“What do you mean?” I smile at him.
“It’s baby 101 according to the internet. Haven’t you been caring for him this whole time?”
“You researched it?”
“Yeah, I didn’t want to wake you. By the way, never have Siri pause between sentences.” The frown on his face turns into a pout. He looks over to a small kitchen garbage bag on the floor near the door.
“And why is that?”
“Because helpful information about getting pissed on needs to be shared before you take a fucking diaper off a baby boy,” he says, completely serious. “It was surprising, to say the least.”
I laugh so hard it almost hurts. For a second, I think I might actually cry.
Because this man, this socially clueless, painfully serious man, got up with Ollie so I could sleep.
He changed him and fed him. Got peed on in the process.
All so I could have a few more hours of rest. Something warm flutters low in my stomach.
I force myself to get it together, wiping at the corners of my eyes.
When I look back at him, there’s a small smile tugging at his mouth. And God, he really is a handsome man.
“You could have woken me up. I’m used to it. But thank you. Even though it was a short night, it was the best sleep I’ve had.”
“I’m glad. Did you know that Ollie has the same dimples as you? They’re closer to his lips, but that could be because his face is fatter and smaller than yours.” I’m still trying to pull myself together when Ronan steps over to Ollie’s highchair and bends down beside him.
“Show ’em to me, kid.”
To my complete shock, Ollie laughs. Ronan presses one finger gently into his cheek, right where the dimple appears, and Ollie grins even wider.
Something strange twists in my chest. He did the same thing to me last night.
I thought it had been because of my dimples.
Now I’m suddenly wondering if he just goes around poking everyone in the face. The thought stings more than it should.
I look away quickly and grab the mug he left sitting beside the coffee pot for me. Heat curls up from the coffee, warming my hands, but it doesn’t do much for the hollow feeling opening in my chest. Maybe I’m not special to him. Maybe that kiss didn’t mean to him what it meant to me.
It was my first kiss.
Ronan is gorgeous and confident and rich. He’s probably kissed plenty of people. Slept with them too. Why would someone like him want someone like me? I read too much into it. I won’t make that mistake again.
“What changed?” Ronan says from right behind me. I jerk and slosh hot coffee over my hand.
“Fuck!”
Ronan moves quickly and grabs my wrist to pull me to the sink. The cool water flows over my hand, and relief is almost instant. He dries my hand with a paper towel, then wipes up the spill.
“What changed?” he asks again.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yeah, you do.” He studies my face. “You were laughing, and now you aren’t. What did I do?”
I take a slow breath, trying to force everything back down where he can’t see it.
“You didn’t do anything,” I say, even though my voice sounds strange to my own ears. “Don’t worry about it.”
I turn away before he can look too closely at me and reach for my coffee.
Because I can’t exactly tell him the truth.
I can’t tell him that seeing him touch Ollie the same way he touched me made something jealous and ugly flare up inside me.
That, for one stupid second, I thought maybe the way he looked at my dimples meant something.
That he made me feel special when I should have known better.
Admitting any of that would only make this hurt worse.
A firm hand lands on my hip and turns me to face him.
Ronan places a hand on either side of me on the counter, boxing me in but not touching me.
Leaning down so we are eye to eye, he says, “I need to know why you stopped being happy. I’ve gone through the events, and it doesn’t make sense to me, so explain it to me. ”
I cross my arms over my chest. “It’s nothing, Ronan. I just thought…” I try to think of what to say that doesn’t make me sound like a whiny kid, “I don’t know what I thought. Please let it go.”
He studies my face for a few more seconds before pushing off the counter and standing to his full height.
“Okay then, but I will figure it out. There’s breakfast for you in the microwave.
I’m going to grab a shower and get dressed.
We’re meeting everyone at the office in an hour and a half.
” He’s all business again, and for some reason, that hurts too.
—-***—-
We enter Ronan’s office to the sound of his entire family standing around talking. Declan is sitting in one of the chairs in the sitting area with Xavier perched on the arm. His arm is wrapped protectively around him. What would it be like to have that? To have someone who is fully invested in you?
Ollie begins screeching and pushing away from me, wanting down. It was either put him on his feet or drop him. As soon as he touches the floor, he waddles as fast as his little legs would carry him straight to Kieran. Bending down on one knee, Kieran holds out his arms for Ollie.
“Good morning, Ollie,” he says to my baby brother. Ollie hugs him for a second before heading to Alessia, who is sitting on the small sofa next to Liam. Ollie sits on her lap and leans his head on her chest. She whispers to him, but it’s too soft for me to hear.
“What’s going on? Your message said this was a necessary family meeting. It’s not Sunday.” Finn says. But his eyes are still on his mom, who is holding Ollie, slowly caressing his head.
“We have business to discuss regarding Colton and Ollie, specifically their safety,” Ronan answers his brother’s question. It doesn’t go unnoticed by me or anyone else in the room that, as Ronan was talking, he stepped closer to me, resting his hand on my lower back.
“What do you mean by their safety?” Alessia asks.
“Colton needs to be the one to tell you. Afterward, we’ll need to discuss the next steps.
Tell them, Colton, the whole story.” Ronan moves his hand from my lower back to my shoulders and gives me a reassuring squeeze.
This is it. I can tell them everything, or I can walk away.
Well, run away again. I glance at Ollie, who is now playing with a lock of Alessia’s hair, running it through his fingers contentedly.
He needs this stability. So I tell them everything.
It doesn’t take me long because no one interrupts me.
When I finish my tale of woe, it’s Alessia who speaks first.
“These people,” she all but spits the word people out, “were not only going to sell Ollie but have already done it to other children?”
I’ve only seen her being sweet to Ollie. She was calm when she got onto the boys for fighting in the office. But her tone and the look on her face are now cold and intense. For a moment, I fear that her anger is directed at me for not doing something about it sooner.
“I had to get Ollie out of there. I know I should have gone to the police, but there was no guarantee that they would listen. Two members of the Children of the Fallen are officers. I’m sorry, but I had to run.”
“Xavier, why don’t you take Ollie to the playroom. I’ve set up some snacks in case he’s hungry.”
“Oh, awesome. Come on, buddy, let’s play with the balls.
Wanna go play?” Ollie reaches for Xavier, all smiles and laughter.
I wait for the judgment that I know is coming from this family.
Will they send Ollie and me away? I have a feeling that no matter what Ronan’s promise to me is, his parents hold the power.
Alessia stands in front of me, but I can’t look at her.
“Eyes up.” She doesn’t so much as demand it as command it.
Her tone makes you want to do as she says.
So I meet her eyes. “You did what you had to do. You were brave to put your brother’s safety above your own.
It took courage to do that. You were faced not just with one person, not just your parents, but with an organization that could have ties deeper than you already know.
You have nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. ”
Tears prick the backs of my eyes. Was this woman a mind reader? When she wraps her arms around me, I stiffen at first, but then relax into it. It is honestly the best hug of my life. Not that I have been hugged a lot in my life. I often wonder if I’m touch-starved.
“Come and sit down. I want to go over a few things. Ronan, did you do a full dossier yet on the main players?” She leads me to the sofa and sits beside me, holding my hand.
“No. Just Colton and his parents. Until last night, I wasn’t fully aware of the extent. I plan on doing that today with Colton’s help.”
“Good, make that your priority. Information will be the key to this. I want everything you can gather.” She angles slightly more toward me. “Most religious organizations, or in this case one that claims to be, don’t advertise membership. Do you know how many are in the leadership?”
“Around twelve or so,” I answer. In awe of this woman, who, one minute, is cradling a baby on her lap and the next is commanding the room.
She’s treating this like a military operation.
Maybe that is how people in the corporate world handle things.
I glance around the room. Several of the brothers are in side conversations.
“Mom, we need local information. I think I should take Taylor and make a trip to Oklahoma for a day or so.” Finn says.
“That’s a good idea. We’ll need recent pictures of everyone so our security can be on alert. I want Kenji assigned to Colton and Ollie in the meantime.”
“I can take care of them. They’re staying with me. I’m not letting anyone get close to them,” Ronan says. His response reminds me of the words of his tattoo. Protection above all.