Chapter 18
Colton
I’ve never been the reason Ollie was afraid before.
I’m supposed to be the person who protects him.
The safe place. And now he’s crying because of me while Ronan is the one calming him down.
The thought cuts so deep it makes it hard to breathe.
I’m failing him. Failing the promise I made to keep him safe.
God, I’m falling apart. But Ronan’s hand stays at the back of my neck, warm and steady, keeping me from completely unraveling.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, my voice rough. “It just hurts.”
“We are going to stop them,” Alessia says softly. “It won’t change the past, but it will help the others.”
I nod because I understand what she means.
I always knew they were taking money from people.
I knew everyone in the cult was suffering.
But seeing the actual numbers, seeing exactly how much had been stolen while people starved and lived in fear, makes me feel sick. Ronan guides us back to our chairs.
“You want to put Ollie back in his highchair?” he asks.
I automatically tighten my hold on Ollie.
“No,” I say. “I want to hold him for a while.”
Ronan only nods. We settle back into our seats, and Declan starts explaining how the money was moved through offshore accounts and shell companies, but I can’t stop the uneasy feeling sitting low in my stomach.
Something still doesn’t feel right.
“There is no way that member contributions add up to that amount. Even with the business contributing a portion. That means the majority of it comes from the selling of the kids.” I try to do the math in my head.
“The majority of it comes from that source. I’m tracking the transfers that I’ve found so far.” Declan replies.
“Yeah, but I would have known if babies were going missing. Plus, I don’t remember that many women in the membership being pregnant. There were only two. One stillborn and one case of SIDS.”
“It’s more than members’ kids,” Alessia states.
“Oh dear God.” Xavier slaps his hand over his mouth.
“Kieran, contact Leo. We need a missing child list. It needs to be under 3 years old. Ronan, the members that you have backgrounds on now, check travel around the time of the abductions within a two-hundred-mile radius and work out from there.”
“Who’s Leo?” I ask. Not really sure why it matters.
“A contact with the FBI who works on missing and exploited children cases. He’s an old…” she hesitates, “friend of ours.”
“Why don’t we just turn everything over to them?” I ask. If they have a contact, wouldn’t that be the thing to do?
“There is too much red tape, and it would take too long. We need to get this handled now.” She replies sternly.
“But that’s what they are there for, to stop people like this.” I’m trying to understand.
“And they will when we have everything in place.”
I glance at each person in the room. No one seems shocked by this. Declan is already typing on his laptop again. Kieran is speaking into his phone in the hallway. I inhale sharply when it hits me.
“You’re planning to take them down yourselves,” I breathe out.
“Yes,” Ronan says.
I wait for someone, anyone, to contradict the answer. But no one does.
“But the FBI…” I start.
“We will not allow them time to take or hurt another child,” Alessia gently places her hand on my forearm. Trying to be reassuring, I’m sure. I look back at Ronan.
“Colton,” Xavier says quietly, “You need to trust them. One day, I’ll tell you how they saved me, but for now, go with it. They know what they are doing.”
That statement was a shock to me. Xavier had to be saved. He’s so happy and seems carefree.
Ollie squirms in my lap, and I hold him tighter.
My thoughts are all over the place with all of this information.
Ollie’s baby shampoo hits my nose, and it pulls something into focus.
What if I hadn’t found those papers? What would have happened to him if I had been just a little slower getting him away? Who would have helped me?
“But Ronan,” I start again. Not to argue the point. Hell, I didn’t really know what I was saying. He places his hand on the back of my neck and gives me a reassuring squeeze.
“No,” he says firmly.
“No, what?”
“We aren’t waiting on anyone else.”
“You can’t.” I stammer out.
He cocks his head and studies my face. “We can.”
“What if you get caught or worse, get hurt?” I’m getting riled up again, and Ollie pushes off my chest. He reaches for Ronan, who takes him without hesitation.
“I won’t. I’m not losing you.” He says, rubbing Ollie’s back. The motion of his hand as he comforts my brother makes my heart clench.
“So that’s it? It’s decided.”
“Yes.”
I want to believe him. Deep down, I do.
Once back in Ronan’s office, I have a newfound drive.
If the Murphy family were going to risk everything to do this, then I was going to do everything I could to help.
I hack and gather as much information as I can about everything I can remember.
The time goes by too quickly. I don’t even notice when Alessia walks in carrying Ollie.
“Da!”
I turn and smile at him.
“Hey buddy,” I hold out my hands for him to come to me. For some reason, I’m relieved when he does. “What time is it?”
“It’s a little after five,” Alessia tells me.
My gaze goes back to my screen. I’m so close to finishing the last of the email hacks for one of the core members.
“I was wondering, Colton.” Alessia draws my attention back to her. “Would you mind if my little junebug had a sleepover with me?”
My shock must show on my face. Ollie is a little over eleven months old and has never been away from me. I don’t know what to say.
“I understand if you say no. But it would give you and Ronan some time to,” she hesitates, “finish the files you are working on tonight. I can promise you that he will be well cared for. Besides, Franklin has been working on some new baby-appropriate foods for him and would love to have the official taste tester on site.”
“Franklin?” I ask.
“Our chef. He’s the one who made those little trays for him.” She says proudly.
I look over at Ronan. I want to stay longer to finish this up, but I don’t know if I can let Ollie out of my sight right now.
“Dad and Mom both raised all of us, so they have experience. They also have armed guards at their place.” He shrugs.
Ronan’s mind fascinates me most of the time.
He knows that I worry about Ollie’s safety, and that is the reassurance that he gives me.
But the emotional part of being separated doesn’t seem to register.
“He’s just never been away from me. Ever.”
“Are you worried how he will react or you?” He asks. If that question came from anyone else, I would say the person is being sarcastic, but with Ronan, he honestly wants to know.
“Both, I guess.”
“If it gets to be too much for you, I’ll either take you to their house or go pick him up myself, no matter what time it is,” Ronan reassures me.
For the first time since Ollie was born, I know I’m not the only one that he has anymore.
“You have my number in case I need to come get him or if something happens?” I say to Alessia.
“Yes, dear. I promise to call if a reason arises. But I’m positive that we will be just fine, right, junebug?” Ollie reaches for her without prompting.
“Mo,” Ollie yells as he bounces on her hip when she takes him back from me.
“Mamó,” Ronan corrects.
The moment he says it, Ollie glares at him, “Mo,” he says back to Ronan.
“Mamó,” Ronan repeats. Ollie grunts and starts chanting Mo Mo Mo. Ronan, being the adult that he is, repeats Mamó just as many times. It’s a fucking verbal tennis match between a one-year-old and a grown-ass man. I start laughing until I have tears in my eyes.
“Oh, for Pete’s sake, Ronan, give it a rest. He’s one.” Alessia is laughing as well.
“He’s saying it wrong.”
“Yes, but he’s a baby, and he’ll learn. Now you boys have a good night, and we will see you in the morning.” Surprisingly, she leans down and kisses the top of my head. “Thank you for trusting me.” And with that, she leaves. My whole world is that little boy.
Ronan is staring intently again.
“What?” I ask.
“You trust me, right?” he asks.
“I just met you, but yes, I do.”
He steps around the chair and pulls me close to him. “Then trust that I would not let Ollie out of my sight if I thought he would be in danger.”
“You wouldn’t?” I chuckle. “You say that like he is your responsibility.”
“You both are.”