Chapter 32
Adam
“It’s okay,” I say, though deep down I’m not sure it is.
The fog still rolls through my mind, unwilling to give up its control over me, and I worry about what will happen if it takes over again.
Jaime’s scent keeps it at bay, so I stay curled around him, inhaling him like he’s my personal medicine, but what kind of solution is that?
How can I force him to spend the rest of his life shackled to an unstable, dangerous creature?
Even if, for some miraculous reason, I wasn’t dangerous to him directly, what about everyone else?
People on this ship are right to be wary of me. Given the chance, I would have killed every last one of them. I don’t feel the urge now, only mortifying shame, but who’s to say it won’t return when Jaime inevitably gets fed up with me?
What kind of life can I have, anyway? I’m grateful for the reprieve I’ve been given, and once I’m certain it won’t put them at risk, I’ll be more than willing to help the doctors and scientists figure out what caused my remission.
However, I don’t see any future for myself other than endless lab tests and being locked up like the dangerous criminal I am.
I can’t sentence Jaime to that kind of life.
“Okay,” Jaime calls to the young doctor watching us through the camera.
The fog swells at the thought of him listening to the private moment I shared with Jaime just minutes ago, but I force it back.
They’re just worried about Jaime’s safety.
They’ve been listening to make sure I wasn’t tearing him apart.
“You can open the door. We’re on the far side of the room if you want to activate the force field, but I don’t think it will be necessary. ”
The door slides open and I warily take in the scents drifting through. It isn’t a Wehdi on the other side of the door. “Your brother,” I whisper to Jaime.
He chuckles. “Of course he is. Steven? Don’t come inside.”
“Yeah, don’t worry.” Steven is a little taller, more muscular version of Jaime, with much shorter head fur.
Hair. He leans around the doorframe to peer inside, then immediately averts his eyes when he notices Jaime’s state of undress.
“Nope. Don’t need to see that. Just came to make sure you’re still alive and bring you this stuff.
” He pushes a stack of items through the door before narrowing his eyes at me.
“Hi. I’m Steven. If you hurt my brother, I will kill you. ”
“I will not hurt Jaime,” I say, preparing the words in my head before I say them out loud to make sure I sound as coherent as possible.
“Huh, he really does speak,” Steven mutters under his breath before continuing out loud. “That’s good. Have fun, you two. I’d tell you to use protection but—”
Jaime groans. “Get lost, Steven.”
Laughing, Steven touches the door control panel, sealing us in the bare room once again. Dread mixes with shame as I study the deep claw marks on the walls. Galaxies… They should have put me down like an animal.
“Stop that,” Jaime whispers, leaning in to kiss me. “That wasn’t you.”
Except it was. Still, I don’t want to see Jaime sad, so I push my grim thoughts aside and focus on what Steven brought us.
I keep Jaime in my arms, unwilling to set him on the cold floor when he doesn’t even have clothes.
His second skin. I chuckle as I remember the shock of seeing Jaime’s clothes for the first time.
It seems silly now, with most of my memories returned, but back then, it was truly baffling.
I retrieve a pack of wet wipes and a pair of two-legged pants from the pile and hold them out to Jaime. “Do you need help?”
He grimaces. “Yeah, it would be for the best. I could probably handle it alone eventually, but it’s cumbersome. I’d appreciate help. If…if you don’t mind?”
The way his voice falters gives me pause. “I don’t mind. Why do you ask?”
“Well, it’s just that you seem so much more… I don’t know, civilized? Intelligent? Those are terrible words, sorry. I just mean that you’re not obliged to help me. You might not have realized it before, but now—”
Such a ridiculous idea. “Jaime, I want to help you. I…” Shaking my head, I search my mind for the right words, carefully choosing so I’m not misunderstood.
The remnants of the fog still linger in parts of my mind, making speaking more difficult than it should be, but for Jaime I want to do my best. “I want to help you because I love you, Jaime. You are an amazing person, and I thank all the gods in the universe that, even heavily affected by the fog, I still had enough presence of mind not only to avoid hurting you but to help you as best I could. I… I’m sorry for the boundaries I crossed. ” I licked him. Fuck.
Jaime’s smile is tender as he caresses the side of my snout. “You were the best keeper ever. You still are. I don’t hold anything against you, Adam. Actually, for someone I considered a primitive alien, you were super keen on consent. It shows how deeply ingrained those values are inside of you.”
Shaking my head, I avoid answering and help Jaime into the pants.
I didn’t ask for Rokesh’s consent before gouging out his eye.
My brother. I’m not ready to face him. I don’t know if I ever will be, even though I know I can’t avoid speaking to him forever.
This is his ship, after all, the one I fled from five years ago.
Five years. I don’t remember most of it; the fog was merciful in that regard, but for Rokesh, it must have felt like eternity, and he never stopped looking for me. I don’t deserve such loyalty.
“So, what did you teach, Professor?” Jaime asks curiously as he unwraps various food containers.
“Ironically, linguistics,” I reply, gently snatching the bowl of Kelaren soup out of his hands.
“You won’t like that. Trust me.” It’s always been my favorite, but I think Jaime might have a problem with the larvae floating in it.
They’re not technically worms, but I don’t think he’d appreciate the distinction.
He grimaces as he watches me scoop it with a spoon.
“Eww. I’m not kissing you again until you’ve rinsed your mouth, at least. I’ve had enough freaking worms to last me a lifetime.
” Humming in pleasure much like when I teased his cock, Jaime digs into a bowl of leafy greens mixed with cubes of meat and brown sauce.
I decide not to tell him that the meat is from an erde beast, which, technically speaking, is a worm. A giant one, but still a worm.
“Linguistics, huh?” He chuckles. “That really is ironic. I’m sorry you got sick.”
“Thank you.” No one knows what triggers the red fog.
We all carry the same latent genetic marker, but most individuals live their entire lives unaffected.
After I was diagnosed, I couldn’t help but keep wondering.
Was it something I did? Something I ate?
Someone I met? Useless thoughts that were in no way helpful, but I couldn’t stop them anyway.
“Thank you for healing me.” I don’t know why, but Jaime’s scent, his mere presence, seems to drive the fog away.
It’s still there, lurking in the back of my mind, but it no longer controls me.
Jaime shrugs. “I’m not sure I did anything, but I’m happy you’re better. Can I scan you with this, then?” he asks, holding up a handheld scanner.
“Of course.” I will do everything in my power to make sure others suffering from the same condition are closer to being treated.
“Cool. You might have to show me how to do it, though. I can’t read whatever the hell these squiggles are.”
Looking at the screen, I realize it’s in Omnispeak, which Jaime can’t know, especially if he’s only been in space for a few weeks.
He told me about his kidnapping. I couldn’t understand the words back then, but I remembered them.
He’s been taken by slavers and held in a menagerie while his brother was forced to fight in illegal gladiator matches. The mere thought is revolting.
After choosing the right settings on the scanner, I hand it back to Jaime.
“Press this button,” I tell him. I could probably do it myself, but I get the feeling Jaime wouldn’t be happy about that.
He always sounded excited when he talked about “space stuff” as he called our technology, which must seem alien and quite advanced to him.
I wouldn’t rob him of the experience of using it, even if it’s just a simple scanner.
“It won’t hurt you, right?” When I shake my head, Jaime relaxes. “Okay. I don’t really know how it works, but it looks like a super cool gadget.”
“Mr. Collins?” the doctor’s voice comes through the speaker.
He’s young, probably just a regular member of Rokesh’s crew rather than an experienced specialist on the red fog, so his nervousness is understandable given that he’s accidentally stumbled upon the holy grail of Wehdi medicinal research.
“If you’re ready, I can walk you through using the scanner. ”
The tip of Jaime’s tongue peeks out as he focuses on slowly moving the device around my head. I fight a smile as I watch him from the corner of my eyes. “No need,” he says. “I’m already on it. Sexy professor over here showed me how.”
“He did? That’s…surprising. In a good way, of course. Amazing, really. There’s, uh, also a set for taking blood samples. If you both could provide those, it would be very helpful. Of course, only if it’s safe given Professor Rizven’s…condition.”
Right. They’re worried that poking me with a needle might trigger me again. I don’t think it will, but I don’t hold that fear against them. After all, no one has ever recovered from the red fog. “Why Jaime’s blood?” I ask.
“Well, he was fighting off some infection he picked up on that moon, so we need to make sure the treatment was successful. Also… I’ve contacted the head researchers who deal with the red fog and they sort of…
demanded that Mr. Collins be examined as well.
They seem to think your remission might have been caused by something locally present on that moon, combined with Mr. Collins’ unique physiology. ”
“Demanded?” I don’t like that at all, but I force my aggravation down because it seems to feed the fog. Lashing out is the last thing I want right now.
Jaime’s hand on my knee helps me relax. “It’s fine,” he says to both me and the doctor. “If there’s a chance it will help someone, examine me all you want. Like I said, I’m all for curing chronic conditions.”
Absently, he taps his fingers on his thigh, making me realize that we’ve been talking about me and my issues this whole time, but what about Jaime?
Wasn’t he on his way to get treated when he crashed on that moon?
That’s just another reason to set him free.
I can’t keep him tethered to me just for my own sake.
Jaime needs to go back to his life, even if it means I’ll turn into an animal again. “Jaime…”
“I’m fine, Adam. I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is no.”
“No?”
“No,” he confirms with a smile. “You’re not sending me away.” I must look guilty because he narrows his eyes. “Aha! You were thinking about that, weren’t you? Adam,” he sighs. “I love you. We go through everything together, or not at all.”
That doesn’t seem fair to him. “What if—”
“No.”
“But—”
“Nope.”
“Jaime—”
“Still no. Give it up, Professor. I have over two decades of experience arguing with my brother. I can do this all day.”
Laughter, startling in its intensity, bubbles up my throat. Galaxies, it feels good to laugh like this. “I should have eaten you.”
Jaime’s laughter is more melodic, sounding like music to my ears. “Well, you haven’t, so you gotta deal with me now. Although there are still some parts of me you can eat…”
“You’re insatiable.”
“Yup. When it comes to sex, I’m the feral beast in this relationship. So…?”
Chuckling, I pull a self-inflatable mattress from the pile of supplies and spread it in the middle of the room, intent on giving Jaime at least a modicum of comfort since he’s stuck in a cell with me for the foreseeable future.
As I unroll it, something clatters on the floor.
When I pick it up, I realize it’s Jaime’s fossil.
He notices too, his eyes growing shiny with tears.
“You know,” he says as he swallows roughly, “I stand behind what I said. Metaphorically, of course. The time we spent together on that moon was the best date I’ve ever had.”
“Your dates must have been terrible, then. You were literally fighting for your life in a jungle with a half feral beast for company.” Human dating customs must be truly odd.
I’ve consumed some of their literature and entertainment videos while decoding your languages so they could be added to the UGC database, but I don’t remember reading anything about mating habits.
That’s an oversight I’ll have to remedy the moment someone trusts me with a datapad.
“Yeah, there was that,” Jaime admits, “but I also got spa days at hot springs with the best personal assistant I’ve ever had, and don’t forget the sightseeing trips. The fossils were amazing. Thank you for showing them to me.”
I lower my head, embarrassed, but also stupidly pleased by his praise.
I’m increasingly grateful that even my primal self is such a sappy romantic that it wanted to make Jaime happy, even when I didn’t really know what I was doing.
“You’re welcome,” I manage to murmur. This time it’s not the fog, but embarrassment stealing my words.
Desperate to change the subject to something lighter, I return to Jaime’s earlier offer.
“So, which parts of you are edible again? You’re not using your legs, are you?
” I’m not afraid he’ll take the joke the wrong way since he’s often made a similar one.
Laughing, Jaime leans closer, smacks my shoulder, and pulls me in for a kiss. “You’re an idiot, but I love you anyway. I meant my ass, though. It’s all I could think about ever since I first saw your tongue. Do aliens eat ass?”
I groan as my cock shoots out of my pouch, filling so fast it makes me dizzy.
Jaime smirks. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Yes…” I echo. A million times, yes.