Chapter 19
19
This counts, Elsie’s pretty sure, as the sex memories she wanted with Ginny. This whole trip counts. They’ve made plenty of memories—against the door, in the bed, in the shower, on the chaise on the deck. They’ve done nothing but fuck here, and the bungalow looks like it, Elsie knows, even if she’s not looking at anything right now, her eyes closed, head still on Ginny’s shoulder. From this afternoon alone, there’s a trail of clothes from the door to the bed, and more than one washcloth used to clean her up.
Elsie presses a kiss against Ginny’s skin. They’ve been so wonderful this trip. Not just because of the orgasms—which obviously were also great—but just Ginny being Ginny. Sweet and doting. How much they’re focused on taking care of her after that overwhelming orgasm.
Ginny has been so wonderful forever.
Not that that means— of course Elsie thinks Ginny is wonderful. That’s why they’re best friends. That’s all.
Elsie extracts herself from their arms.
“We should probably pick up,” she says. “Better to pack tonight than rush trying to find everything tomorrow.”
“Oh,” Ginny says. “Uh. Yeah.”
It is indeed a mess—Elsie has to go exploring to find her underwear, which turn out to be too damp to put back on, so she digs a clean pair out of her suitcase. She’s lucky she brought extra—from a young age, her mom instilled in her a deep fear of an accident that would put her in the hospital and you don’t want the doctors to see your dirty underwear, Elsbeth.
Ginny’s voice stops Elsie’s racing thoughts. “You feel okay?”
Elsie’s trying not to think about what she feels, actually.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
“I mean, you just came so hard you cried, so.”
Right. That. They’re not asking about anything other than the sex.
Elsie stretches for no reason. “My back kinda hurts.”
A lie.
Without missing a beat, Ginny says, “Yeah, ’cause I blew it out.”
It’s so stupid, but it makes Elsie laugh.
What is she doing, not talking about this?
Ginny is… everything. They’ve always been everything. They’ve always been perfect and beautiful and hilarious. Elsie’s favorite person. And this has always been what Elsie wants. Ginny has always been what Elsie wants.
Before this week, that was too scary to think about. Because Elsie really did worry saying something might ruin their friendship. What if Ginny didn’t want her like she wanted them? It’s been years since they asked her to the dance. What if they were over her? What if they did want her, but after dating for a while they changed their mind? Elsie wasn’t willing to risk it.
But now?
This trip has been perfect. Their friendship isn’t anywhere close to ruined. It hasn’t even changed that much. It’s just been their friendship, plus sex. It’s everything Elsie has always wanted. And if they go home and stay friends who fuck, that’s okay. That’s great.
It’s just… she wants to date.
She turns to face Ginny, who is zipping the front pocket of their suitcase. They raise their eyebrows at her, expectant. She turns back around.
It’s one thing to say what she wants when it’s a hammock nap. Even talking about the store—that’s not as hard as this. Because Elsie thinks she knows how this will go, but what if she’s wrong? She tries to gather courage the way she’s gathering dirty clothes from around the bungalow.
Nothing is going to change if she doesn’t say something. She drops the wad of clothes into one side of her suitcase and faces Ginny again.
“Okay, so, I think we should talk about this.”
“About what?”
“This.” Elsie gestures between them. “Us.”
“Oh.” A beat. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s talk.”
It was easier in theory. Elsie wants Ginny, wants to be with Ginny, and Ginny wants Elsie to speak up for what she wants. They’re best friends. If wanting to sleep with Ginny didn’t scare them off, surely wanting to date them won’t, either. Right?
Unless Ginny is only doing this because Elsie gets whatever she wants for the week.
Which, like, obviously they’re not.
There’s only a teeny tiny back room in Elsie’s brain that worries about that. Quiet enough she can ignore it, mostly. She releases the thought with her breath. She refuses to talk herself out of this.
“I like you,” Elsie says. Though that’s probably obvious. “I mean, like, I want to date you. To be your girlfriend.” Is that too far—dating is one thing, but a girlfriend label—does that mean exclusive? Is she asking for too much? “I mean, if you want that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Elsie says, her voice stronger. “I would like to try it, at least. I don’t think it’s gonna ruin our friendship—like, this hasn’t, so far, so why would that?” This being the way she’s lost count of how many orgasms they’ve given each other over the past few days. That being handing Ginny her heart and trusting that they won’t break it. “Even if things don’t work out, like, romantically or whatever, you’re always going to be in my life. Like, if you’re not interested, that’s obviously totally fine and it’s not going to—”
“I’m interested,” Ginny says before Elsie can get the ball rolling on her ramble.
“You are?”
“Fuck yeah, Els.”
Their face had been impassive as Elsie talked, but now it’s split wide with a grin. Elsie wants to vault over the bed and hurl herself into their arms. Instead, she ambles closer, tugs at the edge of the fitted sheet for something to do with her hands. Ginny mirrors her approach until they meet at the foot of the bed.
“I’m gonna kiss you now,” Ginny says, still grinning.
“Yes, please.”
Elsie’s heart feels so big in her chest it seems the kiss should be desperate or consuming. But it’s just right. She can have this. She has this, has Ginny, and they can kiss whenever they want.
They break the kiss and slip into an easy hug. Elsie feels like she’s flying.
“I wanna have you’re my girlfriend sex,” Ginny says, and Elsie giggles. “But I think we need to let the bed dry out.”
“As though the only place to fuck is the bed? The bigger issue is I might die if you make me come again.”
Ginny squeezes their arms tighter around her. “That’s not allowed.”
In the end, they don’t have sex again, though they do spend an awfully long time in each other’s arms. Ginny nuzzles their face against Elsie’s, whispers in her ear that she’s perfect. Elsie kisses them for so long she almost changes her mind about not having sex. But they have to eat, and if they start touching again, Elsie won’t be able to stop.
They order food and finish packing while they wait. Packing a piece of clothing, then taking a break to make out before packing the next one makes it slow going, but Elsie wouldn’t have it any other way.
Their last dinner is a feast on the deck. Ginny drags their chair to the other side of the table so they can sit right next to Elsie, like they can’t bear to be out of arm’s reach. They dip shrimp in cocktail sauce unsteadily with their left hand, their right resting on Elsie’s thigh. Elsie can barely stop smiling long enough to chew her food.
“I don’t know what we’re going to tell my parents,” she says.
“Oh, is we fucked a bunch on the trip and realized we had feelings for each other not something Mr. and Mrs. Hoffman would like to hear?”
“Somehow I doubt it.”
“How about I made you squirt so you wanna be my girlfriend ?” Ginny looks so pleased with themself. They’re never gonna shut up about that.
“You’re seriously the worst.”
“Yeah, but you still wanna be my girlfriend.”
Elsie ignores the comment, because its truth is undeniable.
“Do you think it will be weird,” she asks, “since Derrick and I literally just broke up?”
“Maybe.” Ginny shrugs. “But I also think maybe no one will be particularly surprised.”
Elsie’s stomach swoops at the thought. “No?”
“Pretty sure most everyone already knows I’m in—” Ginny cuts themself off.
They clear their throat and let go of Elsie’s thigh to take a sip of water. Forget swooping, Elsie’s stomach is in a free fall. As soon as Ginny sets their glass back down, Elsie kisses them. They didn’t officially say they were in love with her, but… well, Elsie isn’t saying it, either. Not technically.
“You’re right,” she says instead. “I don’t think this is going to shock anyone.”
Ginny’s blush is so cute Elsie wants to kiss them again, so she does.