Chapter 26 #2
Sofia nods, chuckling. “I tore the hide off Giuseppe’s back more than once when he screwed up, and he slept on the couch more days than our children probably remember.
But the reason I stayed with him . . . well, two reasons.
One, Giuseppe might have been a sucker, but he was also a man who’d do whatever it took to fix things.
That five thousand dollars? It took him six months of working a second job at night to replace it, but he did it.
He made us right again. Second, I loved him. And love is sometimes crazy, Violet.”
My voice is small, quiet enough to keep it just between the two of us. “I would do anything to make this right because I love Papa so much. You’re right, love is crazy, and maybe what I did was ridiculous, but it was because I wanted to give him that memory. I wanted to give us that moment.”
Aunt Sofia tilts her head, looking at me with soft eyes. “That is true, Violet. But I think you’re missing the point of my story. I’m not talking about Stefano. I’m talking about your Ross.”
I protest, “I can’t do that right now. It was all for Papa, and I have to focus on him.”
She hums noncommittally and pats my hand, letting me disappear into my mind. Thoughts of Ross and the wedding try to sneak in, but I push them out, not able to handle thinking of that when my grandfather is lying on a table with his chest open and we’re praying for a miracle.
Sometime later, Archie comes in with lunch.
He’s subdued too, not his usual big and brash self, which only reiterates how dire the situation is.
But at least he’s on my side and not judging me for the fake wedding.
“You couldn’t have known this was going to happen.
If anything, this is that sniveling rat, Colin’s, fault. ”
He’s trying to make me feel better, but we both know this is on me.
Dr. Lee comes through the double doors down the hall that we’ve been staring at, and we all stand, his few steps down the hall to the waiting room taking way too long. “Angela,” he says, taking her hands, and my heart stops.
No! No, no, no, no. Please!
“The surgery was rough, but it was a success.” A sigh of relief goes through the room and then a few whoops of joy sound out. Dr. Lee smiles, but it’s that detached professional one that doctors have. Distantly, I wonder if they practice that in the mirror during medical school.
“But that was the first step of many. He has a long way to go, so I want you to be prepared for that. He’s in the recovery room, and we’ll get him into ICU tonight.
At some point, we’ll wean him off the medications keeping him unconscious and see how he does, how his heart reacts.
He’s going to be a hospital guest for a while. ”
Dr. Lee looks around the room. “Please, everyone, go home, get some rest,” he urges us. “There’s nothing you can do for him sitting here.”
A few of my cousins glance at each other and nod, getting up to kiss Nana on the cheek and promising they’ll be back if needed.
Nana kisses them back, giving them all a little bit of comfort before they walk out.
As they pass me, though, more than a few give me dirty looks, and I doubt that I’m going to be invited to any more family gatherings anytime soon.
Finally, it’s just Nana, Sofia, Mom, and me, and the doctor clears his throat. “Mrs. Russo, you really—”
“No.”
She doesn’t raise her voice, she doesn’t sound shrill or hysterical. She simply is stating the truth. The only way she’s leaving this hospital is if she’s physically carried out.
Dr. Lee doesn’t know Nana the way our family does, though, and tries to talk to her. “Mrs. Russo, you need to rest, and eat, and—”
“And I’m sure that my husband is being provided with a hospital meal. I can eat that,” Nana says matter-of-factly. “As for sleep . . . at my age, sleeping is something I can do sitting in a chair by my husband’s bedside just as well as I can in a regular bed. Now leave me alone.”
Dr. Lee turns to us, knowing when he’s been beaten. “I’ll stay with Mama,” Mom says. “Someone needs to go to the house and wrangle the family.”
“We’ll go,” Sofia says quietly, taking my hand and hauling me up with unexpected strength.
I swallow but go over to Nana and kiss her on the cheek. “Nana, I—”
“I know, dearie,” Nana says, patting my cheek. “And Stefano knows too.”
I kiss her again, leaving before I start crying again.
In the hallway, Sofia takes my arm and pats my hand.
“You heard the doctor. He’s going to be okay.
” That’s not what he said, but it’s what I need to believe.
“Come on, let’s get back to Angela’s and feed everyone.
It’s what we Italians do . . . feed a fever, feed a cold, feed to celebrate, feed to mourn, feed our families at every chance we get.
” She’s trying to distract me with silly prattles, but the thought of going to Nana and Papa’s house and seeing his favorite chair empty as everyone studiously ignores me, is more than I can take.
“Aunt Sofia, I think I’m going to go home for a bit.
I haven’t been there in . . . weeks,” I say with a swallow, remembering that most of my things are at Ross’s, but I don’t want to go there.
I want to go to my little apartment, with the tiny tub I have to bend my knees to fit in, and just hide away from everyone and everything.
“I’ll get Archie to take me.” I’m already pulling out my phone to text him before he leaves the hospital.
I swipe away the dozens of missed calls and texts, some from Ross, some from Abi, some from unknown numbers.
My phone dings in my hand. “Archie says he’ll come around and meet me out front,” I tell her. After asking if I’m sure, she kisses my cheek and walks me in that direction.
The front sliding doors to the hospital open and suddenly, I’m blinded by a flash.
“There she is!” someone yells, and it’s like blood in the river. Instead of piranha, though, I’m surrounded by journalists, paparazzi, and more cameramen than were at the wedding.
“How’s your grandfather?” one asks, but it’s the only halfway sympathetic question yelled at me.
Every other question I can make out is insane.
How do I feel about my fraud? Am I a gold digger or a sugar baby? How much did Ross pay me? Did Colin pay me? What kind of magic pussy tricks do I have to get two of the city’s hottest bachelors fighting over me?
“What?” I cry out at that last one, horrified at his crudeness. “Excuse me,” I say, pushing my way through.
Behind me, I hear Aunt Sofia. “Just go, honey! I’ll get the cousins!”
I’m not sure if she means that she’ll get them to beat the shit out of the reporters, which while that sounds good, is definitely a bad idea, or if she means she’ll ride with them to Nana’s and to just leave her.
I pray she means the second one and dive into Archie’s car as he pulls up.
He peels out of the lot, looking in his rearview mirror.
“Sorry, Vi! I came up through the parking garage and had no idea they were out there.” He looks pale, and for his dark complexion, that’s saying something. He was scared back there too.
They think I did this for money because of who Ross is or because I’m some sort of kept-woman whore. Regardless of the questions, they all say the same thing. I’ve ruined my life and the lives of a bunch of other people, too.
Archie is hesitant to leave me and even fills my rinky-dink tub for me, but that just reminds me of Ross and the tears start to flow again.
Archie tries to joke lightly, testing the waters. “Oh, no, she’s leaking.” But even his overexaggerated look of ‘what do I do’ doesn’t change my dull expression.
“I’m sorry, Arch. I just can’t. You can leave me alone to wallow in my own pity party. I’m okay, I promise.”
He eyes me thoughtfully and then does what he always does, takes care of me.
“Okay, sweetie. I’ll grab you a glass of wine .
. . hmm, make that the bottle. And I’ll get your softest PJs and set them on the counter.
You hop in the tub and cry it all out. I’ll have food delivered later, so answer the door, but look out the peephole first because I wouldn’t put it past those sharks to impersonate a delivery guy. You . . . bath, eat, sleep. Got it?”
I nod, not having heard most of what he said. But he leaves after a few minutes and finally . . . finally, I’m truly alone to fall apart.
Papa.
Ross.
What have I done?