Chapter 10 #2
I lean in, ready for him to hit me with it.
“Okay, so Ross was mad at this . . .” He gestures from his chest to me.
Before I can argue again, he talks over me.
“And he damn near killed me during our workout. Plus, tonight is going to be a lot for us both, I think. So I propose . . . get it?” I shake my head, smiling at the dumb joke.
“I propose that we get pizza and drink beer. I want you to know what a big deal this is for me. Folks expect me to be eating clean, and most days, they’d be right.
But tonight . . . I think we both owe ourselves a bit of relaxation, and I’m trusting you to keep my shit-diet secret. So, what do you think?”
I tap my chin, humming. “Well, I guess it depends on what kind of pizza and what kind of beer?”
He lays his arm on the back of the couch, his hand inches from my shoulder and petting the leather.
I wish it were my skin. “Okay, pulling out the big guns. You ready for this? Because it could be devastating to my reputation.” At my nod, he whispers, “I like pineapple on pizza. For the right occasion and with the right mix of ingredients.”
“Ew!” I exclaim. “You’d better not let Violet hear you say that, or her family. They’d skin you and turn you into meatballs.”
Oh, shit, did I just talk about balls? To Kaede? Shut up, Courtney!
He holds a finger in front of his lips, pursing them, and says, “Shh.” All I can think about is that’s his kissing face and I want to see it again, leaning in to me. “If they find out, I’ll know who told.”
I mime locking my mouth and throwing away the key. Talking out of the side, I ask, “Canadian bacon?”
Kaede nods and grabs his phone. He makes a few taps on the screen and then sets it back down. “It’ll be here in twenty. Canadian bacon and pineapple thin ‘n crispy and cheese sticks with two extra ranch.”
I love cheese sticks with ranch. Ridiculous amounts of ranch dressing. And somehow, he knows that. Maybe Kaede is just good with details, but maybe he noticed one of my favorite things and stored it away in that sexy brain of his. But why would he do that?
“Beer?” He’s already halfway to what I assume is the kitchen when I answer. He comes back with two Coronas, lime slices already stuck in the mouths of the bottles.
I squeeze my lime into the beer and then push it through the opening.
I suck my finger and then my thumb to get the juice off but freeze when I realize that Kaede is watching me closely.
His eyes are locked on my mouth with such intensity that I’m shocked I never noticed it before.
Maybe he really has been aware of me as more than his best friend’s sister or the ball-busting Ice Queen at the office?
But then . . . why has he never made a move before?
And then it hits me. He just told the most important person in his professional life a huge lie that centers around me.
That’s why he’s noticing me now. He’s probably thinking that no one will ever believe the two of us as a couple.
‘Ice Queen’ Courtney Andrews and Kaede ‘K-Dawg’ McWarren, the guy who can have any woman he wants.
It doesn’t matter. Whatever past we had, he is looking at me now. With trust and heat and all sorts of things that make my stomach get all floaty.
Slow down, girl. This is all a big make-believe, a way to help him out of a jam. That’s all.
“We need to know more about each other. I’ll start—favorite foods.
I love pizza and beer, and ranch, but my true favorite, the thing I turn to when I’ve had a shitty day and need comfort in the form of carb-y calories, is bacon mac n’ cheese, chocolate cupcakes with sprinkles, and Dr. Pepper.
I also have a bad habit of stopping by the all-night donut place around the corner from One Life to grab a donut, also with sprinkles because they make everything fun. ”
“I have a love-hate relationship with that place. Fuck, those donuts are so good! Do they put crack in them to get us so addicted?” he asks, and I laugh at his vehemence, having had the exact thought before.
“So is the mac ‘n cheese, cupcake, and soda all one meal? That’s some serious feeling stuffing.”
“Don’t judge me. It’s for especially shitty days, when I need a taste overload to shut down all the mental craptastic chatter. Like after the meeting with Ms. Crabtree, or in college, when I failed an important exam.”
“Which you probably did all of once, right?” he teases, sidestepping the too-fresh allergy incident.
“Actually, it was a mistake with the answer key. After eating all that in misery, I actually made a B-plus,” I say proudly.
“Of course you did.” He rearranges himself on the couch, getting closer as we get more comfortable.
We’ve talked before, have hung out before with the whole gang of our friends, but this is more than that.
We’re on the cusp of knowing each other better.
It might be for a twisted reason, but still, we’re going to come out of this closer than we’ve ever been before. There’s no way around that.
“My favorite food is microwave nachos,” he shares.
I make a face of disgust. “Hey! Don’t judge me if you don’t want me to judge you.
Hear me out. When I was a kid, Mom was working her ass off, days and nights, because it was just the two of us.
And on the nights she was home with me, we’d both be exhausted.
We got into the habit of nuking chips, shredded cheese, canned jalapenos, and bacon bits until it was an oily, gooey mess.
We’d share them and talk about what was going on.
Over time, that was my sign that we were doing okay, making it through the tough times. ”
My throat tightens. I never knew any of that.
Was I that oblivious, that self-absorbed, that caught up in my own little rich girl life to not recognize that Kaede was going through all that?
I try to think back to when I was in middle school and Abi and Ross were in high school.
We weren’t close then. I was too young for anything they were interested in and they had zero desire to hang out with me outside of ‘family time.’ But I remember Kaede being around with Ross’s whole group.
I’d just thought he was one of the guys, Ross’s best friend who spent the night more than anyone else.
Though, now that I think back with a different lens, I do remember Ross giving Kaede stuff—footballs, basketballs, clothes he didn’t like with the tags freshly popped.
I realize Ross was helping out his buddy the only way he could, giving Kaede a way to keep his pride but take the handout.
And Mom! She used to pack up food for Kaede, saying he was growing every day and would probably need a snack before he even made it home.
She was feeding him when his mom was at school.
Holy shit! I never knew! And I look at Kaede with fresh eyes.
I’ve always known he was smart, a hard worker, a take-no-shit type of guy.
But to have life handed to you on a silver platter is one thing.
It’s an entirely different thing to have to dig deep and find strength in yourself when you’re dealt a hand that puts you way behind the starting line.
I have a newfound respect for Kaede. I admire what he’s accomplished.
“I . . . I’m—” I start, but I’m interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Pizza time. “That was fast.”
“They’re usually faster than they say. It’s just three blocks away, and they’ve got one of those brick ovens that cooks the whole thing in like two minutes,” Kaede explains, getting up. He goes to the door and pays for the pizza, and I notice that he tips the driver well.
There are so many layers to his parfait, ones I never knew. He’s frugal, smart with his money, but tips fifty percent on a pizza delivery. Why? Because the delivery guy’s a hard-working dude who could use the money.
Kaede sits down, opening the enormous pizza that’s easily big enough for four people and the box of cheese sticks that smell like deep-fried heaven before taking my hand. I look up at him, surprised.
“I just wanted to say that there are no apologies needed about what happened when we were kids. I could see it on your lips and I know you had no idea. I wanted it that way. Besides, you were just an annoying brat then, always tattling on Ross and me for being rowdy in the pool or sneaking out when we were supposed to be sleeping.”
“And when you and Ross got stupid in the home gym and broke the mirror.”
Kaede laughs. “Well, I earned that one. Never throw weight plates like Frisbees, regardless of their size.”
I give his hand a hard squeeze, punishing him for the brat comment. “I might’ve been a bit of a goody two-shoes, but I was barely a teen. You can’t blame me for being a rule follower. And you two were devious monsters, making life hell for Abi and Violet. They wouldn’t tell, but I did.”
“To clarify, I didn’t do anything to Abi or Violet. That was all Ross.”
Just his name is enough to put a damper on our moods. The whole big brother thing is still screwing with my life. At work, at home, on dates. To mask the silence, we each grab a slice of pizza, munching and moaning at how good it is. It’s been ages since I had pizza.
I swallow a mouthful, the edge taken off my hunger, and sip at my beer. “Fine. Agree to agree, Ross is the ogre. Let’s do some quick Twenty Questions so we can make this deal believable, okay?”
He grins. “Knew you’d have a plan. You got a bullet point list?”
I lift my chin, refusing to answer. It’s answer enough. “Music?”
“Mostly harder rock, like Dropkick Murphys, a punk Irish band from Boston. But rap or death metal if I’m working out because the beat gets you pumped. I’ll put it on a Spotify station and get everything from Ludacris and Jay-Z to Travis Scott and Kendrick Lamar. You’re a nineties girl, yeah?”