Chapter 11 #2
“Ooh, I know that one!” Ross says gleefully.
Standing up, he goes over to Violet, wrapping his hands around her waist and talking to her phone.
“Angela, blame me. I asked your beautiful, wonderful, loving granddaughter for sour cream enchiladas as a treat for all the hard work I’ve been putting in at the gym.
Plus, I made a très leches cake today for this sweet tooth of hers.
I wouldn’t dream of serving it with your lasagna.
It wouldn’t be right. But I promise, we’ll have your famous pasta carbonara tomorrow, Nana. Agreed?”
“Si, si!” Angela, who’s always been charmed by Ross, agrees. “Feed her the cake. And dessert tomorrow, too! Have Violet make you some cannoli!”
“Oh, I’m sure Violet enjoys Ross’s cannoli regularly,” Archie quips, making everyone laugh. “Too bad she won’t share!” He looks Ross up and down, and Ross blindly flips Archie off as he burrows into Violet’s neck to plant kisses behind her ear.
Even Abi laughs at that, and a minute later, Ross comes back over while Vi continues talking with her grandmother. I’ve seen these conversations, and there’s a reason Vi’s got a phone dock in the kitchen. Angela can drain some batteries with her chatter, that’s for sure.
“You handled that like a pro. I’m impressed,” Abi teases her brother.
“Thankfully, we mostly only deal with the locals,” Ross says in relief.
“Vi’s mom handles a lot of the distant relatives, so we’ve got sort of a buffer.
Did you know they like to talk every month?
That doesn’t sound bad, but there’s so. Many.
Of. Them.” He shakes his head, like even the math on that hurts his brain cells.
The doorbell rings, and Archie’s on his feet before anyone else, sashay boogieing his way to the entranceway and opening it up. “Ooh, look who’s here! Come on in, Miss Thang!”
“Hey, Archie,” Courtney says, air kissing with Archie.
He’s the only person I’ve ever seen her do that with.
Hell, Archie might be the only person I’ve ever seen do air kisses, and he does it with everyone, friends and strangers alike.
It’s considered a huge diss if he refuses to air kiss your cheek. One I don’t ever want to receive.
Abi hops up, hugging her sister, and Ross glances back and forth from Courtney to me.
Once greetings are done, Courtney and I give each other awkward looks as she enters the living room.
How do we play this? Should we stand together?
Apart? I don’t know what to do. I don’t think Courtney does, either.
Ross said we should make an announcement, and I guess we’re going to have to tell people, but no one in this room is going to believe this.
They know Courtney and I haven’t been dating.
And after Ross and Vi’s fake wedding-turned-real love scenario, everyone will instantly jump to it being a scam or scheme of some type.
By some insane twist of fate, it’s not even Abi’s scheme this time. And she’s the resident purveyor of weird, insane, and fucked up.
Nope, this one’s all mine. How did that happen?
But I look across the room and remember.
And if anyone can make this crazy idea work, it’s Courtney. We’re two peas in the same pod, a couple of workaholics deciding to do the proper thing in the next step up the corporate ladder. Wham, bam, all you’re missing are some fireworks.
Except we had plenty of fireworks last night. That kiss was a complete Fourth of July.
Vi eventually finishes up her conversation with her grandmother, and minutes later, she sets a beautiful plate of enchiladas smothered in a white sauce that I think even Angela would be proud of in the middle of the dining room table.
“Let’s eat,” Vi says, a little smile on her face.
We all scoot around the table to take our seats, and Courtney and I make it a point to sit together. Serving dishes are passed, each of us filling our plates with enchiladas, chips and salsa, queso, rice, and beans.
I see Courtney eye the small setup of nachos I made with the chips and queso. She gives me a soft smile of recognition that warms me. Or maybe that’s the salsa.
“Ooh! This stuff is spicier than I am!” Archie says, fanning his open mouth. “And I’m one hot tamale.”
“Need another drink?” Violet says, starting to get up, but Ross stops her, saying that he’ll get it.
Archie chugs the glass of ice water and Ross sits back down at the head of the table. He clears his throat. “Uhm, Kaede? Didn’t you have something you wanted to share with the class?”
“Oh, my gravy and biscuits, they’re fucking!” Archie gasps, clapping and snapping his hands as he looks from me to Courtney. “Yass, girl. Get you some of that K-Dawg meat buffet. And tell Daddy Archie all about it, slowly and in detail.”
“What? No!” I argue, though fucking Courtney is exactly what I wanted to do last night. And this morning. And every morning for years when I worked at Andrews. And every night when she leaves One Life after her class. But none of them know that.
But it doesn’t matter. The damage is done and everyone is talking at once.
What’s going on? What does he mean? Is that true?
I take Courtney’s hand, needing us to present a united front on this and praying she’s still with me. “We’re engaged!”
Everything stops. I’m not even sure the clocks are ticking, it’s so silent. Everyone looks at me, Ross with a bit of ‘told ya so’, while Violet and Abi both look at me in utter shock. Archie, for his part, just looks like the cat who ate the cream.
“What?” Violet asks while Abi stammers for words. “You two—”
“Hold up,” Courtney says, the only calm person in the room. “You’re telling it wrong. Let’s take a deep breath and try again.”
Of course Courtney’s correcting me. She’s planned this out better than I did. She’s probably the only person who would.
She looks at me, though she talks to our friends. “An awkward situation came up with the gym, so I’m helping Kaede and Ross get out of it. That means we’re ‘fake engaged’ until they can handle it. We’re NOT telling Mom and Dad.” That last bit is directed to her siblings.
“What?” Violet asks, her cheeks pinkening. “You two are . . . what’s going on, Ross?” She whirls on her husband, the glare of ‘did you know about this?’ promising that Ross will be sleeping on the couch tonight, for sure.
Not looking so smug now, are you, Mr. Told Ya So?
But I do what I always do and save his ass, the same way he would for me.
“Hold on, Vi, don’t kill him,” I beg, holding up a hand and playing wingman for my buddy. Quickly, I run down what happened at Jeffrey Sanders’s estate and with his daughter. “So in the end, I’m the one who stuck my big mouth in this. If you want to kill someone, kill me.”
Violet gives her husband a reproachful look but calms some. Meanwhile, Ross questions Courtney. “You told me that if I didn’t tell Dad about Vi and me, do the whole society pages shit, no one would believe it. They wouldn’t believe that we were an ‘us’.”
“I did my own research on Jeffrey Sanders,” Courtney says coolly.
I blink because of course she did. “Sanders isn’t up on the society pages.
It’s not something he seems to care about, instead focusing on business and technology.
I don’t think Missy is, either. Seriously, the only mention of her I could find in any Googling was her high school graduation announcement.
No pics of her in clubs with the high society millennials, or on yachts in Cabo, or any of that crap.
And they’re the main ones who need to buy this. ”
“This sounds like some shit I’d dream up,” Abi says with a shit-eating grin.
“But I learned from my lesson,” she quickly corrects herself, holding up her palms. Honestly, I don’t think that’s true.
Abi is a schemer, through and through. Not in a bad way, more like a ‘thinks she’s Cupid’ sort of way, and she’s just lying low for a while after the whole Ross and Violet thing.
“Is that why you keep trying to set me up on dates?” Archie teases.
Abi glares at him, her eyes yelling at him to ‘shut up’ because she’s so busted in the lie she just told.
“Newsflash, I’m not looking for a suit unless he wants to be my sugar daddy.
It takes paper to look this good.” Archie runs a hand down his chest, which is covered in a holey vintage T-shirt that I’m sure cost three dollars at the Goodwill.
He’s not a designer diva type, more of a punk anarchist who somehow figured out that he’s an amazing interior design assistant.
Weird, but that’s somehow the most normal thing about him.
“Yeah, well, see if I set you up again. You’ll be a lonely, wrinkled hag begging me for a love connection, and I’ll still say no.
” Archie’s head swivels on his neck, daring her to do it.
She sighs and gives up on battling Archie.
“Well, it’s nothing like a fake engagement.
” Abi lifts a brow at Courtney, and I expect they’ll be having some conversations about this later.
“But if we’re spilling tea, I’ve got news too.
I got chosen for a huge wedding contract, flowers for the Johnson-Kennedy wedding. ”
Everyone cheers for her and Violet gives her a hug. “That’s huge!” she says with eyes wide as saucers.
I offer Abi a fist, which she promptly bumps with me. “Congrats! That’s for real, right?”
My joke falls a little flat, and Abi gives me a long look.
I don’t know why until I look down, and I realize I’m still holding Courtney’s hand even though I don’t need to be with our friends.
There’s no reason to fake it here, but still, it’s hard to let go.
When I do, Courtney puts her hand in her lap and I want to chase it, hold it again, or maybe her thigh.
Thoughts of that kiss and her flesh in my hands run through my mind again.
“Oh, hell, you two are too cute,” Archie says. “Come on, guys, you gotta do it for me. I don’t care if it’s fake or not . . . Kaede, get down on that knee and beg for her hand!” Under his breath, he says perfectly clearly, “Or beg for something. Just beg, baby, beg.”
I roll my eyes at his antics, knowing he’s just trying to get a rise out of me.
“I don’t think we need that yet,” Courtney says, ending the conversation with a little hint of her trademark ice in her voice. Archie holds up his hands in surrender, and we all decide now’s a good time to dig in.
The enchiladas are delicious, of course. Violet’s got more talents than can be counted on your fingers. They’re so good, in fact, that all conversation more or less drops off. Everyone’s too busy stuffing their faces.
As everyone finishes, Ross and Violet take our plates to the kitchen. To my surprise, there is actually a très leches cake, and they bring small dessert plates out to each of us.
“I can’t believe you told Nana that you made this cake,” Violet admonishes him.
He shrugs, not caring in the least. “Well, I made the money that I bought it with, so that’s almost the same thing. And it’s good.”
We hum along in agreement with him. As for me, I’m stuffing my face with the moist cake, though two meals like this in two days are gonna have me hitting the treadmill hard in the morning. Mentally, I’m doing math . . . how many miles at what pace to burn these calories?
“Maybe I’ll tell her you bought store-made lasagna next time I see her,” Abi teases, knowing that would be a death sentence for Ross. Nana Angela would kill him slowly and painfully for daring to buy a frozen lasagna.
“Just have your cake and eat it too. We’ve got news too, since everyone’s dropping bombs,” Ross tells his ornery sister.
He reaches over and takes Violet’s hand. He looks at her and she nods, biting her lip and looking on the verge of tears. Ross beams brightly, looking into Violet’s eyes. “We’re pregnant!”
“Oh, my God!” Abi yells! “I’m going to be an aunt!”
Courtney smacks her shoulder and says dryly, “Yeah, because it’s all about you, Sis.” To Violet, she says, “Congratulations!”
We all congratulate Violet and Ross, who grabs champagne for everyone but Vi. We toast and all conversation turns to baby talk. How far along is Vi? Have they thought about names? Can Abi be in the delivery room?
In the midst of it all, Courtney and my crazy news is forgotten, unimportant and fake when the reality of a new baby is so exciting.
But when Courtney looks over at me, her eyes full of happiness at the idea of being an aunt and adding to our gang of misfits, she shocks me. Shyly, she takes my hand beneath the table.
It could be pretend, but it feels real too. And it feels . . . right.