Chapter 18
Thought of the day…
The difference between a ‘victor’ and a ‘victim’ is two only letters.
You control your own narrative.
‘I suggest we go inside,’ he said.
‘Do you now?’ I popped another olive in my mouth and chewed, watching him become increasingly uncomfortable. When I swallowed, I waved a hand over the aspect. ‘No one can see us – it’s dark – so why does it matter?’
‘Someone might come along.’
‘Who, Tommy? There are only twelve people on the island, including us.’
‘A slight understatement,’ he responded. ‘Can we please go inside? Humour me?’
‘Fine.’ I stood and gathered my portable picnic dinner and led the way back into the villa.
Tommy closed the door softly behind us, then it was just me and him in an enclosed space, landing me in a predicament.
THE predicament. Because soon we’d either be fighting or fucking.
And as appealing as the latter might have been (if I completely disregarded our history and the current situation), it was most likely going to be the former.
We had a lot of air to clear – emotional smog.
‘Now that I’m here, I’m not sure where to begin,’ he said, the hesitancy in his tone stripping away a single-cell layer of my built-up protection.
At the minibar, I kept my back to him, busying myself by cutting off a thick slab of Graviera, my new favourite cheese. I took a bite and chewed slowly.
I was stalling, of course, but his very presence had permeated my defences and now that the Instagram post was being handled, I had nowhere to hide.
Nowhere to hide.
Years since I’d seen him, living miles apart, our contact limited to text messages… all gone. Obliterated by a happenstance reunion so absurd that I barely believed it myself.
And the fortress I’d constructed around my heart… crumbling. No – not crumbling, already crumbled. Dust at my feet.
My throat constricted and the cheese turned to cement, making it impossible to swallow. I reached for a bottle of water, broke the seal, and took a swig. I swallowed hard and gulped for air, my back still to Tommy.
‘Ally.’
He’d come up behind me – not touching me – still inches away, but the air sizzled between us. I gripped the edge of the minibar.
‘Don’t,’ I sighed, my ragged voice betraying what lay beneath the bravado. Because when it came to Tommy, almost everything was bravado.
After the demise of our marriage, I spent years wrangling the twin threads of grief – sorrow and fury – diluting their power by ‘living my best life’.
And perhaps naively, I’d mastered compartmentalising, convinced that burying my feelings would inoculate me from being hurt. But it only took a handful of days to excavate them, and it was Tommy who was driving the backhoe.
‘So, you and Elsa?’ I ventured. There was the very slim chance that I’d misunderstood what he’d told me earlier, and I needed to know for sure.
Tommy moved even closer. If I leaned back, just a fraction, I’d feel his breath on my neck.
‘She’s my partner.’
‘Oh,’ I murmured, my shoulders stiffening.
‘I told you, not like that. We work together – that’s all.’
‘And what work is that?’ I asked, not really wanting the answer. Because, with everything that had happened, I was sure it had nothing to do with structural engineering. Or sailing.
‘Ally, look at me.’
The gravelly timbre of his voice sent a thrumming vibration right through me. I swallowed, my breath fractured, and turned to face him, possibly the bravest thing I’d ever done.
‘I have so many questions, Tommy,’ I whispered, my voice textured with every single one of them.
‘I know. And I owe you answers.’
His gaze dropped to my mouth, then returned to meet mine, and every neuron in my brain urged me to close the gap between us. But I couldn’t. Not yet. So I said the one thing that would unlock everything else.
‘You forgot about me.’ My eyes glossed with tears, but I steadfastly held his gaze.
‘Never, Ally. I never forgot you. Not for one single day.’
The gasp came from deep inside me, then there was no more conscious thought of right and wrong and past and present. There was only me and him – my beautiful Tommy, the man I’d forced myself to forget just to stay afloat.
His hands dropped to my waist, pulling me to him, his body firmly pressed against mine. I trailed my hands to his shoulders, my fingers fisting in his shirt.
Our lips collided.
Every nerve ending was electrified as my lips moved against his. Full and soft, yet kissing me with firm insistence, transfixing me. Our mouths melded perfectly, lip to lip, sealing our connection. Our tongues were tentative at first, then engaged in a dance that aroused shivers and sighs.
His arms tightened around me and I unclenched my fingers, slipping my hands around his neck, falling deeper into the kiss and losing myself in him.
Being in Tommy’s embrace was everything I’d craved but buried deep. Comfort and adventure, familiarity and excitement, converging in one perfect, breathless, aching moment – exactly how it had once been between us.
But a heartbeat later, the need for him sharpened.
Without breaking the kiss, I tugged at the hem of his T-shirt, aching to touch his bare skin. I slid my palms up his back, raking my nails lightly, and he moaned – a sound that travelled to my core, setting me alight.
He drew back, ending our kiss, but I knew from the look in his eyes there would be another – and so much more.
He roughly grabbed the bottom of my hoodie and pulled it over my head. My hair tumbled onto my shoulders, mussed, but I didn’t care. He tossed it on the floor, then reached behind me and undid my bra with a two-fingered snap.
I gasped – I’d forgotten he could do that. He met my eye, his left brow arched sexily.
Still wanting more of him, I reached for the button of his jeans, but he gently pushed my hands away.
‘Uh-uh, not yet.’
He hooked one finger under each bra strap, sliding them off my shoulders, and my bra followed my hoodie to the floor. He stood back, his eyes roaming my body then rising to meet mine.
‘My god, Ally, you’re so beautiful.’
Tommy stared into my eyes, seeing right into me – taking in all of me – the bold and sassy Ally who still wanted to change the world, the vulnerable, heartsick Ally who’d kept her distance…
Tears blurred my vision as he reached for my face, running his thumb gently along my jawline. It had always been more than lust between us, something else I’d forced myself to forget because the pain of missing him – of missing us – had been too much to bear.
He drew nearer, softly kissing my lips, and shivers rippled over me.
He lowered his head, dropping his mouth to my neck, planting soft, tingle-inducing kisses, his lips moving to my collarbone, tracing its ridge.
His hands cupped my breasts, his thumbs circling my nipples as they hardened beneath his touch.
His lips lowered to one breast, kissing the fullness, his tongue licking, tasting me.
He took my nipple in his mouth and I buried my fingers in his hair.
Every touch, every kiss, every sensation was shooting straight between my legs.
I wanted him inside me, to be as close to him as possible.
But I also wanted this, this sweet torture.
His mouth moved to my other nipple, more insistent now, sucking and nibbling, making it ache deliciously.
But my need for him grew with each breath until I couldn’t stand it any longer.
‘I want to see you,’ I commanded breathily.
He relented, locking eyes with me as he straightened. Impatient, I undid his jeans, roughly pushing them off his slim hips. They bunched at his ankles, and he toed off his boat shoes before stepping out of them.
He stood proudly, his glorious cock straining against his briefs.
I gently pushed him away from me, then knelt before him.
Looking up, a smile alighting on my lips, I reached for his waistband, unhooking it from the tip of his cock.
Leaning back on my heels, I slid his briefs to the floor, admiring his tanned, muscular legs, which looked even better out of shorts than they did in them.
He shucked off his briefs, kicking them to the side.
I rose onto my knees, taking his cock in both hands and stroking lightly.
He moaned loudly.
I held the shaft of his cock firmly in my hands, then lowered my mouth onto it. His sigh was deep and gruff, and I glanced up. His eyes were closed, his head tipped back, and his lips parted.
My mouth glided down the shaft, my lips holding him tightly, then up again, tongue swirling against the underside of the tip. His hands rested lightly on my head, his fingers nestling in my hair as I slid up and down his cock, each time stopping to tongue his most sensitive spot.
He started moving with me, not aggressively, but we fell into a rhythm. I could tell he was close to coming when he said, ‘Ally, stop, not like this.’
I released him, then rocked back on my heels and looked up. His eyes had clouded over with lust, and he shook his head as he smiled down at me.
‘So tempting but I want to come inside you.’
He held out a hand and I took it and stood. He surprised me, scooping me up, and I yelped with delight. His hands cupped my arse as he carried me into the bedroom, then laid me gently on the bed.
I was speechless as we held each other’s gaze and those dark-brown eyes bored into mine. There was so much between us, tethering us to each other. Desire, yes – always – but so much more.
Only I didn’t want to think about any of that, and I reached out for him. ‘Come here.’
He crawled on top of me and kissed me again, a kiss that was reminiscent of the night before – lusty and hungry. I craved him, his taste, the crushing sensation of his strong body on top of mine.
Torn, I broke the kiss. I wanted more but I also wanted to be closer to him and I was still partially clothed.
‘Off?’ he asked, tugging on my trousers.