Chapter 26 Cameron
CAMERON
Sweat beads down my neck as I try to pretend like I’m not having the worst fucking reaction to being back on the death pills, thanks to Reed.
Of course, it’s peaking now that I’m around everyone.
The veins in my neck itch and everything inside my forearm muscles feels wrong, like I need to tear into them and rearrange the parts.
It feels just like the first time I took them, like I can’t control myself.
Fuck. I can’t lose myself right now.
“I’ll be right back,” I call over my shoulder to the squad. They’re all limbering up for the workout and training today. Emery and Gage are the only two who acknowledge me, and I’m glad for the overall lack of interest, because I’m not holding myself together very well right now.
I enter the main-level bathroom and splash water into my face, bracing my hand on the side of the sink as I draw the other one down my jawline. My reflection is of a shell of a man, like it always is, but there’s something in the light of my eyes now that wasn’t there before.
Hope.
Emery. I think of her name, and hold on to the flutter that shifts inside my chest at the fact that she’s back with me. That I didn’t break her forever like I thought I had.
I let my head lower and take a deep breath.
“Get your shit together,” I whisper to myself.
That aching need to kill in the back of my head is uncontainable. I thought I’d dealt with the last of it after the itch vanished in the wake of what I did to Emery…but it has returned as a result of the lull between doses.
I pound my fist on the sink and shake my head as a strong urge takes hold of me. It feels like claws burying deep into my brain, scratching and festering. It’s enough to make an insane person become lucid.
But it’s not going to be enough to break me.
Biting the inside of my lip helps sometimes, so I sink my canines into my own flesh until I taste iron. I feel nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
What’s one person? I guess I could get away with offing one of the local guards. They’re out in the middle of nowhere. If someone asks, I’ll float the idea that they went AWOL.
One person.
One is fine.
“Cam?” Her sweet voice hits me and tears me straight from my thoughts.
My body stiffens and all of a sudden I’m no longer in the bathroom; I’m behind the airplane hangar and trailing a guard who’s at least three hundred feet away, heading down the path to do a sweep of the perimeter, unaware of my presence.
No. What the fuck?
My breaths are labored as I slowly turn and see Emery behind me, staring at me like she’s seen a ghost she thought she’d already dealt with.
Her face pales and she takes a hesitant step back. I force my hands into fists, but her retreating only triggers my desire to chase after her.
Emery takes one short breath before firming her resolve and lifting her chin at me. My brow lifts and a cruel smile grows across my lips.
I don’t want this. My teeth dig farther into my inner lip, until blood trickles down my jaw. “Get out of here.” I force the words out.
“I’m not going to run from you, Cam. Not anymore.” She takes a step forward and challenges me with her fearless gaze.
I groan as I fight the itch moving up my spine, making my hands slowly lift until they’re seated in the crook of her neck, ready to strangle the breath out of her in an instant.
“Em, please,” I choke out her name as my hands tighten around her throat. I’m certain that my expression is blank and lacking any of the emotions that are tearing my heart apart right now, yet hot tears streak down my cheeks.
Don’t let me do this again.
Her eyes narrow with sympathy before lifting her hand. For a moment I think she’ll caress my cheek, tell me something endearing, or even slap me. But she surpasses all that by brushing two fingers over my lower lip and shoving them into my mouth.
My brows raise with surprise. What the fuck are you doing, Em? But it’s working, I can feel the confusion and intimacy of her touch shifting the craving into different energy.
Emery hooks her fingers around my lower set of teeth and pulls down hard. A gasp escapes me as she brings me to my knees in one swift motion.
Pebbles stick to the palms of my hands and dig into my knees, but my focus is solely on her. She’s never been so forceful, and I swear to God it makes all the blood flow straight to my cock.
She must see the way my throat bobs as I swallow the excitement of what she could possibly have in mind for me.
“No more fear, Cameron. It won’t work anymore.
” She speaks in a dark tone that sends chills tingling across my skin.
I study her grave expression, realizing that maybe fear is all I ever wanted from people all along.
That look of distrust and unknowing. Without the fear, it’s almost like it defuses the urge altogether.
Emery pulls her fingers from my mouth slowly, moving to brush back tendrils of my hair that had fallen over my forehead in my moment of disarray. I press my lips to the tender side of her wrist.
“Better?” she murmurs softly.
“Yeah, I’m still adjusting back to the pills after the break in doses. I should be back to normal in a day or two. It’s not nearly as bad as it used to be,” I promise her.
“Good. I’ll make sure to stick close to you then.” Emery nudges me playfully.
I don’t deserve this amazing woman.
I nod, into her hand, nipping at her thumb. A cheeky smile crosses her lips as her eyes dip down to my tented pants.
“Someone likes being pushed around,” she says in that commanding voice I didn’t know I enjoyed so much. My dick throbs eagerly, and I have to suppress a groan.
“Don’t tease what you cannot tame, love,” I mutter. It comes out breathy, making a flicker of amusement flash through her eyes.
“You don’t think I can tame a feral thing like you?” She turns her back to me and starts walking away. I scramble to my feet to chase after her.
Emery glances over her shoulder, eyes piercing through me and spiking my heart rate. She lifts her hand up beside her face and motions her index finger suggestively for me to pursue her.
I swallow dryly as my dick throbs with the need to be inside her.
God, I bet she has no clue what she really does to me.
She casts a wink at me before breaking into a sprint toward the silver birch trees surrounding the fields circling the airplane hangar. I grin, licking my lips as I run after her. Her short hair dances in the wind behind her, and she lets out the cutest giggle as I gain on her.
Only she could take my mind from all the fucked-up shit in my life. Only she could make this smile hurt the way it does. I’ve never laughed the way I do with her. Never breathed as peacefully.
That’s what we do, isn’t it? She and I thrive in the worst of things. Like English primroses, blooming in the dead of winter when we’ve never known the warmth of the sun. Forcing our minds to focus on what little we do have, each other.
The branches snap and whack at us relentlessly as we crash through the heavy brush. I finally catch her, wrapping my hand around her wrist. She lets out a shrill and laughs as my chest collides with her back and we tumble to the ground.
The air stills and the leaves settle as the scent of birch consumes us. We’re both streaked with small cuts, our uniforms taking the most of it.
I roll us over so that she’s perched on my chest. Emery’s hair falls around my face, haloing her innocent expression as she stares down at me. My breaths slow as I take her in, mesmerized and stunned by how much each second with her means to me.
“This entire forest smells like you,” she murmurs as she brings her lips down to mine and softly brushes them together in an almost kiss.
The corners of my lips turn up as I try not to lean in and steal a kiss from her. “There’s no scent in the world that could match yours.” Her eyes flicker with all the colors of a burning sunset, her smile could ruin entire empires alone.
She parts her lips to say more, but I close the distance between us. Our hearts connect as our lips meet. “Thank you for saving me,” I whisper.
Emery presses her forehead to mine and rubs her nose over mine. “Someone has to.” I grin and she quickly kisses it away, deepening it with her tongue and earning her a low groan from the pit of my chest.
Her elbows keep her perched up, but I want her against me so I nudge her hands with mine until she’s falling over me, our chests meeting and our legs tangling. The cold air makes our heated breaths dance as our kisses grow intense and urgent.
“I know I already said this a million times, but I missed you so much.” I whisper against her lips, tilting my head back as she grinds her pussy over my dick. Our clothes are of little resistance to us.
She dips her hands beneath my shirt and explores every groove of my muscles, every dip and rise. It sends a shudder up my spine and another eager throb through my dick.
“You still have a lot to make up for, mister,” she teases me, propping herself up on her knees and unbuttoning my pants. She works them down to my mid-thighs before freeing my dick and swallowing as she takes in the sight of how much precum has already spilt from the tip.
“Tell me what you want and it’s yours,” I practically growl as she fists my cock and starts pumping it. “Oh, fuck.” My fingers dig into the earth as I try to resist grabbing her hips, ripping her pants off and fucking the shit out of her.
Emery releases me and quickly removes her pants, sparing only one look around to make sure no one sees us out here. I doubt I’d care even if they were all watching. Nothing is going to stop this moment.
She lines herself up with me and hovers just so my tip is kissing her entrance. I groan again and fist my dripping cock, rubbing it along her slit and spreading around her juices. Her breath catches and a sweet gasp escapes her when I run it over her clit repeatedly.