Chapter 20
“ D id the estate run into any problems in my absence?”
William noted the blurry motion of the butler beginning to shake his head, only to stop after a moment, before speaking up.
“No, Your Grace. All of the household’s affairs ran smoothly, and all its members are hale and hearty,” Jefferson stated.
“And my daughter?” William questioned.
“Lady Melanie is doing quite well, Your Grace. She is currently having breakfast with the duchess in the sunroom, as they have been every morning recently. There were no incidents of pranks either.”
It filled William with no small relief to hear that Melanie was doing all right, especially with how he had left things between them. As he left home, he felt overcome with regret because he had not made any attempts to apologize.
William had long since told himself to have no expectations from anyone when it came to their perception or attitude toward his… situation. He did not wish to live as though he was handicapped and he did not want anyone to view him as a liability.
And yet, he had held those same expectations over his daughter. In a fit of the rage and embarrassment that had consumed him, he wondered why they would have believed he was capable of navigating the difficulties that hampered his livelihood. In the end, he hurt his daughter, and himself.
“That is a relief,” William muttered after a while, hesitating briefly before asking “And the duchess?”
“She has been quite busy, caring for Lady Melanie and ensuring that the estate would be the same way it was when you left. She did have some company over, a few days ago.”
“Company?” William frowned, hoping that Prudence had not decided to prove him wrong for standing by her side in the face of the accusations that came at her.
“A few women, Your Grace. Including her older sister, the Duchess of Harper. They held something of an… embroidery party, it seemed. Just ladies and their hobbies, I suppose,” Jefferson shrugged, sounding nonchalant.
It filled William with no small relief to know that it was nothing for him to worry about.
All in all, it appeared that everything was fine in his absence and he exhaled deeply.
“Thank you, Jefferson. That will be all.”
The butler bowed and took his leave, but William remained still in his chair, his thoughts lingering on the duchess.
He had told Prudence that what happened between them would not occur again, but it felt as though he had gone back on his word by just thinking about her so often.
Prudence had all but consumed every inch of his mind, asking more of him than he felt he was allowed to give. He had missed his daughter terribly and had hoped to make things right with her upon his return, but a part of him had longed for the duchess as well, wanting nothing more than to be the object of her focus once more.
William missed her voice, and her stubbornness, and he had missed being the target of her ire.
But as a result, he felt it would only endanger her if he were to go back on his word by giving into his desires.
“ I would like to find the duchess a way to live a new life, ” he had told Lord Montclair on the way back to Pemberly estate. “ It is clear all these rumors had picked her as the easiest victim simply because she was the easiest target. She deserves a fresh start. Do you have an inkling on how she could achieve such a goal?”
“A new husband, perhaps,” the marques snorted. “Although it would not be an easy feat. There are not many men who will be willing to marry the Black Widow. But perhaps it would be the easiest way to get her out of your hair.”
Hugo’s words gave him some semblance of hope that the end results that he hoped for, but it ate at his heart as well.
“Then… Please… find a way to make sure she gets such an opportunity with someone who will prioritize her well-being above all else. ”
Hugo was silent, likely displeased by the task, still he opted for the answer William wanted to hear.
“ Very well, Your Grace. I will begin the search right away .”
Although the idea left a bad taste his mouth, William knew this was for the best.
Absentmindedly, he wondered if he should send for her. But he likely should not, given that he was meant to put a stop to whatever attraction kept drawing them close to each other, and not encourage it. But it was growing extremely difficult to pretend he was not greedy for all that he could get from her.
He was so engrossed in his thoughts, that he nearly missed the knocking at the door.
“Y-Yes?” he responded quickly, sitting up.
The door opened and soft footfalls approached his desk, the sweet scent that filled the air stirring up his heart as he recognized it.
“Good morning, Your Grace.”
William cleared his throat.
“Duchess. Good morning.”
“I am pleased to see that you returned safe and sound. How were your travels?” Prudence questioned her tone even.
“Pleasant and fulfilling. It seems my estate did not implode in my absence and I know I have you to thank for that.”
“Hardly,” she scoffed lightly. “You have put enough fear of God into the hearts of your household, that no one would dare make a costly mistake if they value their heads. Your Grace.”
It sounded like she added the last bit as an afterthought and it made William grin.
“All right. If you say so. Still, I was told my daughter is in good health, and I know you oversee her care. You have my gratitude,” he told her softly.
William heard her exhale sharply, and then she said,
“You should not have to hear about her well-being. I expected that you would have attempted to see her by now.”
“When? Late last night when I arrived? I was informed that she was asleep. Or this morning when I was told that she was having breakfast with you?”
Prudence was silent for a moment, then she began to stutter. “I did not mean it like that. It is just–”
“I know. I understand,” he cut her off gently. “I have every intention to see her. I bought her a gift from my travels and I do intend to apologize for my behavior. I just… have not gotten around to doing it yet. But I will.”
“Oh,” she breathed, then cleared her throat. “Well, no time like the present. You are not busy currently, are you?”
William’s eyes narrowed.
“I am not.”
“Excellent. Melanie would like you to join her in the music room.”
A sigh made its way through his lips. “I do not think–”
“Please, William. I understand that mishaps occurred last time due to a misunderstanding. This time, we are prepared to make things better. You need a chance to set things right and she would like to share a special moment with you. As long as you are patient with yourself, you can get it done,” she insisted.
“You have far too much faith in me.”
“And you have too little faith in yourself. If you have doubts, then I would like to ask you to trust me this once. You might not believe that I have your best interests at heart, but I do have Melanie’s. Please trust that I will not let her efforts go to waste again. And I will not allow you to be disappointed either.”
She sounded… earnest. William felt as though he had nothing to lose by relying on her, just this once. After all, she had proven to be reliable thus far.
“All right. I will go and see her right away,” William conceded.
“Good,” she said, her tone betraying her satisfaction. “Thank you.”
“I believe it is you who are deserving of gratitude. Thank you for caring for my daughter.”
“Do not thank me just yet, Your Grace. Let us get through this first,” Prudence replied.
William wanted to tell her that he preferred it when she called him by his name, but perhaps that was merely asking for trouble, so he shook the thought out of his mind.
Then he gestured in the direction of the door, willing his resolve not to break.
“Lead the way then.”
“Papa! You came!”
The sound of Melanie’s excited voice made William’s heart quake with fondness.
How long had it been since he had heard her seem so happy to see him? How many times had he received such a warm reception from her in the last few years?
“Of course, I did,” he smiled gently. “You invited me again, even after what happened last time. I owe you an apology, Melanie. I was… embarrassed. Because I have always tried to appeal to you as a strong father figure you could always rely on. And I…clearly have not been doing so well, in fulfilling fatherly roles. Failing at an aspect I at least had some experience being great at seems to have dealt a stronger blow to my ego than I imagined. But it should not have mattered. Not when you are more important. I do not believe I have all it would take to be better now, but I will try my best. For you.”
William heard nothing for a moment, then he nearly jumped when small hands enclosed around one of his.
“Thank you, Papa. For coming back.”
William nodded. “I will return to you as many times as I can. As many times as you need me to, and even more if you say you do not need me.”
He then held out the neatly wrapped box he had taken with him, clearing his throat and shaking it slightly when she did not take it immediately.
“I got you a gift, on my way back. You can open it… now. If you would like.”
Melanie took it from him and he heard the lid being pried off. William waited a moment before he said,
“I noticed that you seemed to really like flowers. I heard there was a way to preserve flowers in snow globes so they last forever – or at least a long time, provided the snow globe does not break. I picked the flowers myself, with some help. So, they should all be in your favorite colors–”
He had scarcely finished his statement when Melanie’s body collided with his. William scrambled to hold her securely while catching his balance, his heart stuttering uneasily.
“Melanie–”
“Thank you, Papa. I love it. It is very pretty. I will treasure it forever!”
William smiled, patting her head softly.
“I am glad you like it.”
She pulled back and he cleared his throat, feeling a little uncertain all over again as he prompted,
“Pru– the duchess said you wished to show me something?”
“Ah! Yes!” Melanie said and he heard her soft, excited footfalls move away from him, only to return soon after.
She took his hand and pressed what felt like a flat rectangular frame into it, sounding nervous as she explained,
“I really want to play music with you, Papa. It meant a lot to you, once, and I have always liked that you could make music. I wanted to grow up quickly and share your love for it. And so, I… we thought about ways we could make it better than last time.”
Curiously, William tried to use his sense of touch to decipher the object in his hands. It seemed to have solid corners that made up a frame like he had initially deciphered, but then, amid the borders lay stiff fabric. He ran his fingertips over the surface, noting that there were some smooth areas and some bumpy.
He lightly traced the bumps, frowning when he discovered that they made up odd shapes.
No… not shapes. Notes.
His lips parted in disbelief as he recognized the strokes that made up musical notes, arranged into a composition across the surface of the fabric.
“Y-You… how–”
“It was Her Grace’s idea. She thought it would be good to show you the sheet music somehow, in hopes that it would help. So, we embroidered the notes – with a lot of help – onto some strips of fabric and pieced it together to make sheet music, especially for you!” Melanie said.
William recalled that the butler had told him the duchess had entertained guests in his absence and they had gathered to embroider together.
The idea that Prudence had called on her friends to assist with the task just for him made his heart shake in a way William had never felt before.
“This was very… thoughtful, of you both.”
“We ask that you promise to try – really try this time, before quitting. Please,” Prudence implored.
William inhaled sharply, nodding slowly as he held out a hand in the direction he believed his daughter to be standing.
“Lead the way, then.”
Her small hand slipped into his and she tugged him to the piano bench, her hold over him almost tight, as though she was trying her hardest to keep him within her reach.
They settled onto the piano bench and she asked him softly, “Are you ready, Papa?”
William poised a hand over the embroidery piece, his fingertips lightly grazing over the first notes.
“I am.”
Melanie took in a deep breath and she began to play. Almost immediately, William was stuck by the marvelous skill she possessed. He had dreamt, once upon a time that felt like it was lifetimes ago now, of sharing his passion for music with his daughter.
After all, no one else seemed to appreciate his devotion and love for it. His father had all but shunned him after he had chosen music and his wife never forgave him for loving music more than he loved her.
Now, knowing that his daughter had been so eager to learn from him, to share the part of himself he had to bury, disheartened him. William hated himself for all the time he had allowed to waste away, the effort she had spent, waiting for him to acknowledge her – a task that should have been his from the start.
William willed himself to focus on her playing, entranced by the sheer skill she possessed, without any sort of guidance from him, his fingers following the embroidered guide they had made for him.
Soon after, she stopped playing, right as his hand came to a stop on his customized sheet music guide.
“Well?” Melanie asked quietly. “What do you think?”
William hesitated thoughtfully. “Could you play it again? I think I missed some parts.”
“Sure, Papa!”
The tinkle of musical notes began again and with them, William’s heart began to rise as the familiar calm of just listening to music descended upon him. He had tried for so long to ignore how much he missed it, but it was clear that he had not succeeded in stifling just how much he longed for it.
The piece came to an end once more and William requested immediately, “Again, please.”
Melanie obliged and continued to do so, playing as soon as he asked her to, eager to hear his feedback.
Then, sometime after the fifth time, William felt… ready.
As Melanie began to play for the sixth time, he took a deep breath and placed his hands on the keys, letting his instincts and the guide he had run his fingers over several times lead him.
He made a mistake or two, but he did not let it deter him, continuing to follow his daughter’s lead closely, feeling prouder with every note that she had written such a marvelous piece.
It felt… indescribable to play again, the beautiful sounds reawakening all his senses.
When the song ended, he found himself breathing heavily from the sheer excitement of finally returning to a place he had called his home, a long time ago.
With a smile, he patted Melanie’s head, hoping that she would believe him as he said,
“That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing it with me.”
His daughter’s voice sounded tearful as she replied,
“Thank you for playing with me, Papa.”
William held her close, stroking her hair as he easily stated,
“It was my pleasure.”