Chapter 19 Rissa
Rissa
I paced around my bedroom, my stomach twisting into knots. This was a mistake. What had I been thinking, agreeing to go out with Nathan? I paused in front of the mirror, smoothing my dress for the tenth time. Not too casual, not too dressy. Why did I even care what he thought of how I looked?
Headlights flashed through the curtains, and my pulse jumped. He was here. I grabbed my purse with shaking hands and hurried outside before I lost my nerve. And before Gavin came home and caught us going out together. Oh, this was just too damn much.
Nathan stood there, leaning against his truck, looking unfairly good. Dark jeans, a fitted Henley that showed off his broad shoulders, that easy confidence rolling off him in waves.
"You look nervous," he said with a smirk as I approached.
I lifted my chin. "I'm not."
His smirk widened, and he gestured to the passenger door. "Then let's go before Gavin gets home since you don’t want him to know."
I climbed into the truck, my heart hammering against my ribs. As Nathan slid behind the wheel, his woodsy scent enveloped me in the enclosed space. I swallowed hard. What was I doing? This was insanity.
But when he glanced over at me, something in his expression made my doubts melt away, just for a moment.
As we pulled out of town, tension thickened the air between us. I crossed my arms and gazed out the window at the darkening sky, trying to ignore the heat of Nathan's gaze on my skin.
"You can relax, you know," he said quietly.
I scoffed. "I don't exactly do secret dates often.” Or any dates at all. “This is new territory for me."
His fingers tapped an uneven rhythm against the steering wheel. "You don't date at all, do you?"
What, was he reading my mind? "Exactly. So why am I here?"
Nathan's hands tightened on the wheel, his jaw clenching. "Because you want to be."
I had no response. He was right. Despite all my reservations, and reasons why this was a terrible idea, I did want to be here. With him.
I just wasn't sure I was ready to admit that out loud.
Nathan turned onto the highway, the road stretching dark and empty ahead of us. The soft hum of the truck's engine filled the silence. I shifted in my seat, adjusting my dress for the hundredth time. Why did this feel so weird? It was just a drive. Just a meal.
No big deal, right?
Except it was a big deal. Nathan wasn't just some random guy. He was an alpha, a leader, a force to be reckoned with. And I was, well, I was just me. Rissa Mitchell, the girl who'd sworn off love and relationships after getting her heart shattered into a million jagged pieces.
Nathan tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. "You're sitting there like I kidnapped you."
I scoffed. "I wouldn't be this calm if you kidnapped me."
He glanced at me, smirking. "I don't know. You seem pretty good at keeping your emotions locked down."
I crossed my arms. "Not true."
He snorted. "Really? Then tell me, what's your least favorite color?"
I blinked. "What?"
"Least favorite color. You're not allowed to say something safe like brown or gray."
I rolled my lips together, pretending to think. "Neon green."
Nathan tilted his head. "Why?"
I shrugged. "Looks like someone liquified a highlighter. What about you?"
"Orange."
I gasped dramatically. "You live in Tennessee, and you hate orange?"
Nathan chuckled. "Football fans take it too far. If I have to see another bright orange sweatshirt with a 'GBO' on it, I might lose my mind."
I smirked. "You just insulted half the state. Maybe more."
He shrugged. "Let them fight me."
My giggles helped break some of the awkwardness. "Okay, my turn. What's your biggest pet peeve?"
Nathan exhaled. "People who block doorways. Just move. Why are you standing there? I've got places to be."
I laughed. "That's so specific."
"You've never been trapped behind a slow walker when you're in a hurry?"
I hummed. "Okay, fair. Mine is people who chew with their mouth open."
Nathan grimaced. "That's worse than mine. But also, elevator etiquette. It makes me insane. You let everyone get off before you get on. If someone tries to push in, I won’t move."
I snorted, and Nathan glanced at me. "Okay, real question."
I tensed. "I liked the dumb ones."
He smirked but kept his focus on the road. "Favorite movie growing up?"
I exhaled, relaxing. "Oh, that’s easy. Beauty and the Beast."
Nathan chuckled. "Let me guess. Because of the library?"
I grinned. "Exactly. How’d you know?"
“Every woman under the age of forty-five is obsessed with that library. I figured you wouldn't be any different. Even Elle is.”
The playful banter felt good. Natural, even. But beneath the easy smiles and laughter, I could still feel the undercurrent of attraction. The magnetic pull that drew us together no matter how hard I tried to resist.
It was dangerous. Reckless.
But as we sped down the highway, the night whipping past the windows and the man beside me making my heart race in a way it hadn't in years...
I couldn't bring myself to care.
Silence stretched again, but it wasn't as heavy this time. Nathan cleared his throat. "All right, last one. Dream vacation?"
I smiled. "Greece. I want to see the ruins."
Nathan nodded. "Good choice."
I tilted my head. "What about you?"
Nathan thought for a moment. "Somewhere quiet. Mountains, maybe. No cell service."
I snorted. "You sound like an old man. We live in the mountains."
He shot me a look. "I am an old man, remember?"
My stomach clenched at the reminder of our age gap. I quickly looked out the window. "We're almost there."
Nathan glanced at me. "Nervous?"
I exhaled. "I just… I don't do this."
Nathan's hands tightened on the wheel. "Me either." Something in his tone made me glance at him. There was something in his expression, something conflicted.
Before I could figure out what it was, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. Nathan shifted into park and turned to me. "Too late to run now."
I squared my shoulders, forcing a smirk. "I don't run."
Nathan's gaze dropped to my lips for half a second before he smirked back. "We'll see."
I swallowed hard, pushing the car door open before I could say something stupid. My heart raced as we walked toward the entrance. This was really happening. A date. With Nathan Gallagher. My pack leader, my...whatever this was.
I tried to ignore the butterflies rioting in my stomach. The way my skin tingled with awareness every time he got too close. I was in over my head, and I knew it. But for some reason, I couldn't make myself turn back. Couldn't stop myself from wanting to see where this night would lead.
Nathan's hand brushed against mine as we approached the door. I pretended not to notice. He pretended he hadn't done it on purpose. The restaurant was nice. Warm lighting, cozy booths, nothing too fancy. Just easy. Relaxed.
I slid into the booth across from him, fiddling with my napkin. Nathan watched me, amusement dancing in his eyes.
"You're nervous," he observed.
I huffed. "I'm not nervous."
Nathan raised a brow. "You keep fixing your napkin."
I glanced down. Damn it, I was messing with it. How did he notice everything?
"Maybe I just like a tidy place setting." I set the napkin aside.
Nathan chuckled. "Uh-huh. Sure."
The waiter came to take our orders. I asked for the house salad and dressing on the side. Nathan opted for a medium rare steak. Once he left, an awkward silence settled over the table.
"So..." I started. "How are things? With the pack?"
Nathan shrugged. "Same old. Border patrols, training sessions. The usual."
I nodded. "That's good."
Another beat of silence. I cast around for something else to say.
"And Elle? How's she doing?"
Nathan's expression softened at the mention of his daughter. "She's good. Adjusting to the new school year. She’s enjoying cheer."
I smiled. "That's great. She seems athletic."
"Gets it from her mom," Nathan said, a hint of sadness creeping into his voice. “I guess me, too, but Mira was a cheerleader.”
I bit my lip. Stupid. I shouldn't have brought up Elle. It was still a sore subject, even after all these years.
Our food arrived, halting the conversation as we dug in. I focused on my salad, trying not to watch how Nathan's throat worked as he swallowed. The way his fingers curled around his fork. Get a grip, Rissa.
But I couldn't help sneaking glances at him through my lashes. Couldn't stop my mind from wandering to places it shouldn't go.
Halfway through the meal, Nathan launched into a story about Gavin's failed attempt at plumbing last year. "So there he is, standing in two inches of water, holding this broken pipe and just staring at it like it's some alien technology."
I laughed, really laughed; the image was too ridiculous. "Oh my God. Please tell me you took pictures."
"You think I'd pass up that blackmail opportunity?" Nathan grinned. "I've got a whole album on my phone. For emergencies."
"Like when he inevitably finds out about our date and throws a tantrum?" The words were out before I could stop them.
Nathan's smile faded, his eyes searching mine. "Rissa..."
I looked away, fiddling with my napkin. "Sorry. I didn't mean—"
"It's okay." He reached across the table, his hand covering mine. "I get it."
I stared at our hands, my heart hammering. His skin was warm, his touch gentle. I didn't want him to let go.
Dangerous. This was dangerous.
I pulled my hand back, grabbing my water glass for something to do. "We should probably head out soon. It's getting late."
Nathan nodded, signaling for the check. "I've got one more stop in mind if you're up for it."
Curiosity piqued, I raised a brow. "More surprises?"
He smirked. "Always."
After settling the bill, and Nathan insisted on paying, we stepped out into the cool night air. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering slightly. Nathan noticed, shrugging out of his jacket and draping it over my shoulders before I could protest.
"Thanks," I murmured, inhaling his scent from the jacket. It smelled way too damn good.
"Anytime,” he said intimately. “Want to take a walk?”
I shrugged. “Sure.” At this point, why not?
We walked in silence for a while, our shoulders brushing occasionally. The streets were mostly empty now, and the shops were closed for the night. But up ahead, warm light spilled from the open doors of a small bar, the low thrum of music drifting out.
Nathan tilted his head toward it. "Nightcap?"
I hesitated. Alcohol probably wasn't the best idea right now. Not with the way my head was spinning, my defenses crumbling.
But the idea of the night ending… "Why not," I said, mustering a smile. "Lead the way."
He took my hand, tugging me inside. The bar was cozy, all dark wood and vintage posters. A small stage sat in the corner, where a woman crooned a slow, bluesy number.
Nathan guided me to a table near the back, his hand settling on my lower back briefly as I slid into the booth. That simple touch sent heat curling through me, settling low in my belly.
Geez.
A waitress appeared, and Nathan ordered us both whiskeys. I raised a brow.
"Trying to get me drunk?"
He smirked. "Maybe I'm trying to get myself drunk. Ever think of that?"
"Please. You could drink this whole bar under the table."
"Probably," he agreed with a chuckle. "But lucky for you, I'm a gentleman."
I snorted. "Since when?"
"Since always." He placed a hand on his heart, feigning offense. "I'm wounded. Truly."
"Uh-huh."
We lapsed into comfortable silence, sipping our drinks and listening to the music. It was nice. Easy.
It shouldn't have been this easy.
The song changed to something slower, the sultry notes of a saxophone filling the air. I watched the couples on the small dance floor, swaying in time.
"Dance with me."
I turned to find Nathan watching me, his expression unreadable. My stomach flipped.
"I don't think that's a good idea," I said carefully.
He slid out of the booth, holding out a hand. "Come on, live a little."
I stared at his outstretched hand, my heart tripping. "Nathan..."
But I was already rising, letting him tug me toward the dance floor. He pulled me close, one hand settling on my waist while the other tangled with mine.
For a moment, I let myself pretend that this was real. That we weren't making a huge mistake.
"Rissa," he murmured, dipping his head. His nose brushed my temple, his breath warm on my skin. "You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now."
I swallowed hard, my pulse thundering. "I might have an idea."
His grip tightened, a low growl rumbling in his chest. "Don't tempt me."
"And if I want to?" The words were barely a whisper.
His eyes flashed, wolf yellow bleeding into brown. I shivered, anticipation and nerves warring within me. If he kissed me, I wouldn't pull back.
Nathan sighed. "Let's get you home."