1. Jordan #3
“For science, obviously,” the blond guy said.
“Maybe the aliens have never experienced orgasms before, and they want to study us. Maybe their orgasms are a million times better than ours, so they remove our prostates and insert larger, more sensitive ones in their place, and we become quivering piles of ecstatic goo any time we so much as walk. Maybe they can’t reproduce on their own, and they’ve discovered that human men can be impregnated by alien sperm, but only if their orgasms are sufficiently intense to trigger fertilization. ”
“Back to breeding again,” I said under my breath, but I must have spoken louder than I realized, because the blond guy looked at me quizzically.
“Back to breeding? Have you had more than one conversation about gay alien sex today?”
I cleared my throat. “Not gay alien sex, just the regular kind. But it wasn’t really a conversation, just something my brother said.”
“Ooh, your brother. Kinky.”
“Can we not creep the barista out before we’ve even ordered?” Nolan gave me an apologetic look. “I wouldn’t blame you if you spit in our coffee at this point.”
“Or added some other kind of bodily fluid,” the blond guy put in. “To help with your breeding agenda.” He grinned. “I’m Aiden, by the way.”
“Jordan,” I said, laughing in spite of myself. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Likewise. Are you new? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before.”
“Kind of. My brother owns the coffee shop. I’m just visiting for a little bit.”
“Wait, your brother is Levi?” Aiden said.
“Yeah. Do you know him?”
“Define know.” Aiden’s eyes danced. “Know his name, or know him...biblically?”
I blinked. “But I didn’t think that Levi—I mean, not that it would be a big deal if he—that is, obviously, I wouldn’t care if—”
Thankfully, Nolan interrupted me before I could sound even more idiotic.
“We don’t really know him in either sense,” he said. “We say hi when we stop in here for coffee, is all. Aiden just thinks your brother is hot.”
“Don’t make it sound like it’s just me.” Aiden pouted. “You think he’s hot too.”
“Yeah, but I know better than to say that to his brother’s face.” Nolan laughed. “Most people would find that a little weird.”
Aiden snorted. “My subscriber base would beg to differ.”
I was lost again. “Subscriber base?”
“Porn,” Aiden replied, grinning. “I have a CamFans account that caters to a rather specific kink. Nolan here helps me out sometimes, when I need a faceless dick to suck.”
“Oh,” I said, several things falling into place at once. I looked at Nolan. “So you’re not actually his stepdad?”
That made more sense. The age difference between the two of them wasn’t that big. Probably no bigger than the difference between you and Cam, my brain supplied.
I batted the thought away. Now was not the time to be daydreaming about childhood crushes. Who knew what I might accidentally say aloud if I started down that line of thought?
“Definitely not,” Nolan said, at the same time as Aiden said, “Tragically, no.”
Then Aiden’s face brightened. “Maybe that’s what you need, though.”
“What’s what I need?” I asked. “A stepdad?”
My own stepdad was no longer in the picture, thank God. He wasn’t technically my stepdad anymore either. But just because he’d been the world’s worst human being didn’t mean that all stepfathers were, and I supposed I wouldn’t say no to anonymous sex with one of them, if it were on offer.
“No, silly,” Aiden said. “A CamFans account.”
“How would that—”
“To overcome the three-hundred people challenge. If you had an account, you could be a slut for anyone in the entire world.”
“Oh.”
I subscribed to a couple of CamFans accounts, but I’d never considered starting one of my own. The thought was equal parts titillating and terrifying. But it wasn’t quite what I was looking for, and I said as much.
“It just sounds like a lot of work. And the kind of reward I’m looking for is less monetary, and more along the lines of getting railed by seventeen men at a sex party while blindfolded.”
I clapped a hand to my mouth as soon as I said that, looking around The Roastery in panic. There weren’t any other customers in line at the moment, but I still couldn’t believe I’d said that out loud.
“Hey, no judgement,” Nolan said, misinterpreting my worry. “Trust me, I’ve enjoyed some no-strings-attached sex in the past.” He tilted his head. “Why don’t you just download a hookup app, though? No long-term commitments, and it would still help you widen your pool.”
I let my hand fall. Why hadn’t I considered that? I had plenty of friends who’d used apps successfully. One had even met his husband that way.
Obviously, I wasn’t in the market for a husband, but if I were really clear about what I wanted, it couldn’t hurt to try, right? I could even keep my profile anonymous, use a pseudonym with no pictures of my face. That way, there was no chance of this blowing back on Levi and his business.
“I recognize that face,” Aiden said. “That’s the face of someone daydreaming about getting well and truly railed.”
Nolan shot him a grin. “Think we should leave him alone to his planning?”
“Definitely,” Aiden said. “I would never stand between a man and his daily dose of cum. Speaking of cum, though, we should probably put in our orders.”
“Oh, shit. Right.” I shook my head, pulling my focus back to the present moment. “What can I get you guys?”
“A small black coffee for me,” Nolan said, “and a medium nonfat latte for him.”
“And details,” Aiden added, “about how your quest to be a slut goes. We’re definitely going to need details.”