Chapter 5 Elijah #2
Was he talking to me? I realize I must have zoned out to the point I didn’t even hear either of them, which is not like me, and not to mention, we’re almost at the airport…
Where did the time go?
“I said, your sour mood wouldn’t have anything to do with Princess Sophie, would it?” he presses.
I shake my head, figuring it’s best to hide the truth. I don’t have to divulge the details to him, after all.
Matt speaks up. “Probably has to do with that kiss, right?”
My entire body freezes with panic at his words.
No, there’s no way. I could have sworn he came outside after she’d broken apart from me…
“What kiss?” Benny asks, and it’s like slow motion as we pull into the entrance of the airport, heading toward long-term parking.
I must say, Benny was right. We made decent timing, considering this place is an hour away and we’re headed toward parking already and it hasn’t even been an hour…
The tension in the car thickens, and I swear if looks could murder a man, Benny’s glare would end my life. I flush with heat underneath his stare. I’ve known Benny Anderson for years and I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he’s looking at me right now.
Benny is an asshole, but he’s not a violent asshole. Sure, he’s gotten into his fair share of fights, but never with any of us. Though the way he’s looking at me, I can feel the threat.
Instinctively, I say, “I can explain…”
Benny lets out a growl that echoes in the space between us.
It’s not anger as much as it is possessive, which doesn’t make sense.
Benny doesn’t have any claim on Sophie. Though I guess, as the “big brother” type of the bunch, he might feel some inclination to protect “Princess Sophie” as he calls her, but we’re hardly children.
Still, I don’t miss the viciousness in his voice. I can understand it to a point, but I’m not about to let Benny paint me as some asshole. Not when it comes to Sophie, of all people.
Just as I open my mouth to defend myself—not that I need to defend myself to Benny, hell I can barely defend myself to myself—he holds up his giant hand and stops me. “No, don’t. I don’t need details.” I don’t miss the sharpness of his voice.
“It was…an accident,” I say, but even I don’t believe myself.
“What, did you accidentally trip and fall onto her mouth?” Matt drawls sarcastically as Benny rounds on him.
“Shut the fuck up, Matt,” Benny gripes. “Or I’ll shut you up and you won’t be laughing.
” He whips the SUV into a parking space with more gusto than a damn hurricane, the movement jolting me and Matthew into the damn windows.
He throws the car into park and wastes no time getting out.
His entire demeanor is tense, like he’s ready for a fight.
Maybe I’m not the only one who’s nervous about flying this morning…
The tension and testosterone in the air is thick like fog. And because Matt is an idiot and never knows when to shut up, of course he responds to the pot that’s boiling over. “I’m just saying, it didn’t look like a damn accident to me…”
Benny advances toward Matt and instinctively I step in front of him.
This banter between them is a common, almost daily occurrence.
No one gets under Benny’s skin quite like Matt, and I guess I can commiserate with that.
Honestly, I’m not sure why he even lets Matt stay with him if he annoys him so much, but then I remember that as vicious and aggravating as Benny can be, beneath that tattooed chest of his is actually a heart.
One that is loyal to a fault.
“Don’t take out your anger on Matt, he didn’t do anything,” I say, even though we both know he’s stirring the shit pot and about to lick the damn spoon. “Come on, let’s get our shit.”
Benny glares at Matt, then at me. “Fuck you. Both of you, assholes.”
Benny lunges toward me, and stupidly I flinch.
“It was an accident,” I repeat again, this time in a calmer tone, which isn’t hard considering I am tired as hell. I’ll sleep on the plane.
“Accident my ass,” Benny snarls.
It’s not a lie. Not technically. I mean, it was an accident. I’d thought about kissing Sophie, sure. But acting on those feelings? That, I blame on the fact that she’d just confided in me that not only was she single, but that her fiancé had cheated on her.
Seriously, how does a man cheat on a woman like Sophie? She’s fucking gorgeous, successful, and any man in their right mind would be more than lucky to have a woman like her.
Which means this asshole, this Keaton, must be damn near certifiable.
Because I know if Sophie was my girl, I would be on my knees for her every night in more ways than one. Which is exactly what I’ve been thinking about since last night. Her soft, sweet lips, the heavenly moan that was so faint, yet so evident as she parted her lips for me.
For the briefest moment, I wanted to believe it was me she wanted. That she was kissing me because I was what she really wanted, not some two-timing asshole who doesn’t know her inside and out.
And then she just…stopped.
Ran off with damn Matthew for cheesecake, leaving me and my erection to our own devices. I should be ashamed that just kissing Sophie got me so worked up, but the truth is, I’ve jacked off to thoughts of kissing Sophie for years, and now that I’ve finally tasted her…
Yeah, mistake or not, I’m never going to be able to erase that from my mind.
Which is precisely why I ran to the bathroom and blasted myself with ice-cold water to try and kill said erection as soon as I got home, but it was no use.
As I lay in bed, underneath my covers, my mind wandered to Sophie and that kiss, and that sweet, heavenly moan as she parted her lips, and…
Resistance was futile. It was a means to an end, right? At least that’s what I told myself as I wrapped my hand around my cock and closed my eyes, imagining my tongue sliding against hers, imagining thrusting my hard cock against her so she could feel how hard she makes me.
How hard she’s always made me, if I’m being honest.
Sex for me has always been a bit of an issue. Not having it, per se. I mean, I’m not a virgin or anything like Matt, but I’m also not a carnival attraction like Benny.
But sex for me has never been as easy as it should be, because I have to work hard to focus on my partners.
I normally prefer to be the giver, because at least then I can close my eyes and pretend whatever pussy I’m licking or fucking is hers.
Which is fucked up, and I know that. It’s not fair to anyone, which is why I’ve given up on dating because I know I’m never going to be satisfied with any woman who isn’t Sophie Martin.
And kissing her has only poisoned my brain and my heart further.
I push aside the thoughts of last night’s guilty, forbidden fantasy. I don’t need to think about kissing Sophie’s other lips and making her moan that sweet sound right now, because I certainly don’t want to be hard in public, or in front of Benny.
I know he knows how I feel about Sophie. Matt does too. No one’s ever really said anything, and for that I’m thankful, all things considered. We all know how Matt feels too, but Benny’s always been Switzerland when it comes to the princess.
So his emotional, angry reaction to my kissing Sophie feels out of place, but then again it’s four am and we’re about to leave for another country, so maybe his anger and frustration has less to do with me and Sophie and more to do with being up at the ass crack of dawn.
“I’m going to murder your ass and make it look like an accident in a minute, if you don’t hurry it up, dickwad.”
“Get your damn briefs out of your ass, Benny,” Matt says, flipping him the bird.
I sigh in annoyance as I follow Benny to the back of the car.
“She’s got a fucking fiancé, Eli. Or did you forget that part?
” Benny says as he grabs his suitcase and all but yanks it out and throws it on the ground.
“Seriously, what the hell were you thinking?” His eyes shine with surprise at my actions, but also a hint of animosity.
“You’re supposed to be the fucking noble one here. ”
I don’t miss the jealousy in his voice. It’s sharp, brutal. Like his glare.
Shame and guilt befall me once again, returning like a vicious storm as memories of that kiss, of coming to the thought of that kiss and my fantasies, push through.
And then I remember her confession, and I remember Benny doesn’t know the truth, and neither does Matthew.
The air between Benny and me feels different. Not antagonistic, not sympathetic, but more like pained. Strained. Guilt with a tinge of jealousy.
But what would Benny Anderson have to be jealous about? That I kissed our best friend’s sister? Why would he care? fiancé or no fiancé, it doesn’t matter. If anything, this is on me, not Sophie, and certainly not him. He’s not her keeper or anything.
It’s not like he has a Matthew-sized crush on her or has been jacking off to fantasies of her for over a decade.
Hell, he’s barely even spoken to her since she’s been home, so what is his fucking problem?
Why does he give a shit about the sanctity of marriage all of a sudden when he’s the least commitment-ready man I know?
I open my mouth to argue with him, to tell him to cool his damn jets, but then I see the faintest glimmer in his eyes that I recognize all too well.
It’s not the look of the asshole I can’t stand. It’s the look of the friend who always has my back. Which also means he’s probably the safest option of who to tell about what really happened. Or rather what Sophie told me.
Benny is probably the most objective man in this damn friend group when it comes to matters of the pining heart. He’s also the only one in our group who doesn’t have it hard for Sophie, and that’s a victory all its own.
He’s also loyal to a T, so I know I can tell him the truth. And maybe if I tell him the truth, he’ll understand. I’m not a damn homewrecker. I’m a man who had a moment of weakness in the presence of the woman he’s been in love with in secret for years, nothing more.
“She’s not engaged any more,” I say carefully. “She and Keaton broke up.” I swallow hard. “He cheated on her.”
Benny’s eyes widen as Matthew’s suitcase falls to the ground with a thud.
“Shit,” Matthew says, nearly breathless. “That’s—”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Benny says. “She said her boyfriend was sick, said—”
“I know what she said,” I respond. “But what else was she going to say at dinner in front of her family and all of us, huh? That’s why she got so pissed at her mom and ran off. When I caught up to her, she told me the truth.”
Benny purses his lips, his glare sizing me up as he grips the handle of his suitcase. The cool early morning air makes my skin prickle with goose bumps and I’m aware Matt is watching us both. Intently.
“Was this before or after you kissed her?” Matt asks plainly.
“Before.” I sigh. “I’m not a fucking asshole, Benny. I don’t make it a point to go around kissing engaged women.”
I know the moment I say the words that it’s the wrong thing to say, because Benny’s last relationship turned out to be an affair. She’d lied to him, of course, and I thought he would just brush it off, because Benny always brushes that sort of thing off. Women and other man drama.
As loyal as he is, the man has a type, and that type always ends up burning him somehow, someway. But he always gets back up on the horse and keeps going, because that’s what Benny does.
But he’s been moping around ever since things blew up last year, and suddenly I realize his reaction isn’t just about what I did. It’s not just about kissing Sophie. It’s about the principle of the matter, because he actually does have a heart.
Fuck.
“Benny, I didn’t—”
“Just drop it, okay?” he says, slinging his duffel over his shoulder. He storms off for the entrance of the airport, and for the moment, I let it go.
After all, we have a plane to catch.