51 | I wonder what's going on inside her mind?
The heat of the Italian sun presses against the back of my neck, the air thick with that heavy summer warmth that makes everything feel like it's simmering just below the surface.
Aurelia sits beside me in the car, the engine humming low and steady, slicing through the stillness of the coastal streets.
We'd just come from the market, our hands were full of small things, but there's a heaviness in the air between us now.
She's quiet, her eyes cast out the window, probably lost in thoughts I'll never fully understand.
I wonder what's going on inside her mind?
For the past two days, it's been like pulling teeth to get a real conversation from her. She's distant, her smile forced, her laugh too soft, like she's trying to pretend that everything's fine when I know it's not.
I want to know what's wrong, but every time I ask, she shuts down like a door slamming in my face.
But today, I decided I'm not going to let that slide. Today, I'm going to do something that'll make her forget whatever's clouding her mind.
"Aurelia," I say, glancing over at her.
She turns her head, her eyes meeting mine for a fraction of a second before darting away.
"Yeah?" Her voice is soft, almost disinterested, like she's not even sure she wants to talk.
"Can I take you somewhere?" I ask, my hand tightening on the wheel as I speed down the narrow road leading toward the port.
She turns her head toward me now, her expression questioning. "Where?"
"It's a surprise."
She raises an eyebrow, but doesn't press further, so I focus back on the road. The wind is hot, the smell of the sea in the air. I can feel my pulse quicken, but I don't know why.
Maybe because I've been planning this, hoping it will get through to her, hoping it'll crack whatever shell she's built around herself lately.
I turn the corner, and the sight of the port comes into view. The water's calm, the yachts swaying lazily in the gentle waves. I pull up to the side, my eyes scanning the shore.
When I stop, I look over at her, and her eyes meet mine again, this time with a spark of curiosity I haven't seen in days.
"This is it...?" she asks, still not understanding.
"Yeah. This is it."
I get out of the car and walk around to her side, opening the door for her. She hesitates before sliding out, her hand brushing the side of the car.
When she sees the yacht, her breath catches.
It's huge. Gleaming white, the name Aurelia engraved on the side in bold, elegant letters, catching the sun and reflecting it back in a way that makes the boat look almost too perfect, too pristine.
"What the fuck, Luciano?" Aureila's voice is high, incredulous, and I can feel my lips curve into a smug smile.
"You wanted a yacht with your name on it," I say simply, looking at her. "You got a yacht with your name on it."
I watch her, studying her reaction, feeling an odd sense of pride swell in my chest at the sight of her stunned expression.
She takes a step forward, her eyes wide with shock, disbelief written all over her face.
It's like she doesn't even know how much I've thought about this moment, how much I've planned to make it happen. To give her this, something that will make her realize I'm serious about what I want to give her.
She looks up at me, her lips parted, eyes searching my face, and I can see the question forming in her eyes.
"Can I... try to go on it?" Her voice is quieter now, like she's unsure of herself.
I nod slowly. "Of course."
I reach my hand out to her, and for a second, she just stands there, looking at it.
I feel my chest tighten as she hesitates. It stings more than I want to admit, but I hold my ground. I know she needs space, time to trust, time to accept.
So I wait, my hand steady, my heart pounding louder with every passing second.
Slowly, she finally takes my hand.
Her hand feels soft, hesitant in mine, but she doesn't pull away. The connection between us is brief but sharp, and for a split second, it feels like she's finally letting me in.
I guide her to the yacht, her eyes wide as she takes in the sleek, expensive boat. It's spotless, perfect, everything I thought she'd want. But still, there's something off in her expression. She's not smiling, not laughing, not even blinking in surprise.
Her steps slow as we board, and I watch her take everything in, the polished deck, the intricate details, the way the sunlight plays off the white exterior like something from a dream. But she doesn't say anything. Doesn't give me the satisfaction of seeing her truly impressed.
We let go of each other, and I follow her, walking at a distance, letting her take her time, but my eyes never leave her.
She's running her fingers along the railing, moving like she's floating, like she belongs in this world of wealth and luxury.
But even though she's out here, in the sun, in the breeze, she's still miles away.
Her expression is hard to read, and I'm starting to feel that familiar knot of frustration twisting in my chest.
When she finally turns to look at me, there's a flicker of something in her eyes, a guarded something. And I don't know if it's a reflection of me or the situation, but I don't like it.
"Luciano..." she starts, her voice hesitant.
I step closer, my movements slow, controlled. "Yeah?"
She looks at the yacht again, the name Aurelia gleaming in the sunlight.
"I don't know what you want from me..." she says softly. "I know that you want to have a peaceful friendship between us, but what do you really want from me?"
For a moment, I almost forget how to breathe, how to speak.
What do I want from her?
I want her to trust me. To let me in. To stop pushing me away. I want to pull her closer, to take away whatever wall she's built between us.
But I understand why she won't let me in, she doesn't trust me because I used to be involved with her older sister.
If I were in Aurelia's position, I'd feel uncomfortable too.
It's a complicated situation, and I can see how it would be hard for her to open up or feel safe around me given the circumstances.
Instead of answering her, I reach for her hand again, this time with a little more certainty. My fingers wrap around hers, and I don't let go, I hold on tight like I'm afraid that she will slip away from me.
Her gaze flickers to me, but she doesn't pull away this time. Her fingers curl into mine, a soft surrender I don't take lightly.
"You don't have to be scared," I say, my voice low and steady. "I'm not going to bite."
She looks at me for a long moment, as though trying to decide whether or not she can trust me with the fragile thing that is her heart.
Finally, she speaks, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not scared."
But I know she is. I see it in the way she holds herself, the way her breath catches every time I get too close. She's scared of letting me in. Scared of letting herself feel anything for me.
"I know," I say, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "But you don't have to be."
I see the way her shoulders tense, the way her eyes flicker to the distance, to the ocean, to anything that isn't me. She's still not fully here, still not letting herself be part of this world I'm offering her.
I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to break through that wall she's built around herself. But I can't give up on her. Not when I can feel how much she's hurting, even if she refuses to show it.
I step back a little, giving her space, letting her breathe. "You can run around. Explore it. It's yours, after all."
Her eyes flash to me in surprise, and I can't help the chuckle that rumbles in my chest.
"You're giving me space now?" she asks, her voice tinged with disbelief.
"Only because you need it," I say, my voice soft but firm.
Aurelia stares at me for a long moment, her lips parted, but she doesn't say anything. Instead, she turns away, her feet light as she walks around the deck, her steps almost carefree.
For a moment, I lose myself in the way she moves, confident, but still so uncertain.
I follow her, never quite letting her get too far, my eyes tracing every movement, every flick of her hair, every shift in her posture.
She's pulling me under, and I can't stop it.
I don't want to.