Chapter 23
RAIN
Tyler left a note for me.
I found it as soon as he left because I’d heard him moving around before the far door clicked shut a moment later. I’d laid there only briefly before I got up, padding to the bathroom. Starting the coffee machine, I read the note as it began to brew.
I had a great time. Can we do this again? Call me. Text me. Wink at me. Whatever you want to do, I’m down for it. - Tyler
The note made me grin, but then I remembered hearing his sister’s voice through the bedroom door. I hadn’t been intending to eavesdrop, but I’d gotten up and stood at the door because I thought he was gone. But he wasn’t. She’d been upset while he spoke calmly back to her.
Before I could hear too much, I’d gone back to bed and rolled over the way I always slept—curled up in a ball on the farthest side of the bed.
I poured some coffee and looked at the clock. It was half past five now.
I didn’t think I could sleep anymore, and it was a game day.
Morning skate was at nine, and I wanted to go in and lay some more groundwork with Sunny.
I was eager to see if there’d be any change in his playing tonight, and there were some other dynamics I’d noted within the team, but my thoughts were a little muddied.
I needed to take some time, write them out, and then go from there.
I looked back at the note. Tyler was right.
Last night was fun. And I’d told him I struggled with personal relationships.
I’d hinted at something that made me vulnerable, and I didn’t like that.
Letting someone in never ended well for me.
Ever. I tried over and over again in my twenties until I’d finally accepted that I’d never have a close group of friends or a partner.
Being a loner was the safest route for me.
This was going to end in destruction. Mine. My career.
For a moment, self-loathing hit me. It hit me hard, and I let it.
We shouldn’t have done what we did last night. I shouldn’t let it happen again, but I remembered how I’d felt in his arms. My body was going to give in, no matter what my mind might say. And I wasn’t going to delude myself and pretend it wouldn’t happen again. It would.
I’d been starved of touch for so long, and here came Tyler Griffin, barreling down all my roadblocks. Yeah. This was going to end in devastation, and I wasn’t going to do one thing to stop it. I was helpless against him.
Maybe it was just time I had the final blow?
No. I could minimize the damage. I’d need some walls around me if I was going to do this with him again. How could I turn him down? I couldn’t. No one would.
I shook my head, clearing it all away because the more I pondered, the more my messed-up mind would cause problems for me.
I went down to the hotel gym.
A good, hard run would help.