Chapter 45
RAIN
Tyler had positioned himself in the driver’s seat of my car, and his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. He was livid.
Uneasiness flip flopped in my sternum. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he said.
Okay… “Who are you mad at?”
He cursed, making a concerted effort to loosen his grip on the steering wheel. “I’m not mad at anyone.”
“But you are mad.”
“No.”
I scoffed. “I grew up with Daniel Connors. Anger is his profession. I can tell you’re mad. Why?”
“I’m not mad at any person. That’s what you were asking. I’m mad at the situation.”
“What situation?” I asked. I had a feeling I knew.
“What situation?” He shook his head. “What situation do you think I’m talking about? I want to fuck you again, and I can’t. I. Can’t,” he seethed through gritted teeth. “Why haven’t you talked to your brothers in twelve years?”
He seemed genuinely confused, and my heart sank.
From his point of view, his sister was everything.
His niece too. But it wasn’t the same for me—or for lots of other people.
He had no idea that I’d been left out for as long as I could remember.
I looked away, because if I kept looking at him, I’d spill all the sad and lonely details, and that wouldn’t help anyone.
“Why do you care? I thought I was your enemy.”
He was quiet for a few blocks, and then we merged onto the interstate. It wasn’t until we neared my exit that he sighed. “I’m starting to wonder if that’s actually the case.”
The same flutters that had buzzed in my stomach at Hank’s Tulip, when he’d made sure I was okay before going outside with his sister, stirred again. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t afford to let those feelings grow. “Well, don’t waste your time,” I said harshly.
He didn’t reply, and my heart constricted at his silence, but that’s what I wanted. There were things between us we could never get past. This was for the best.
His phone buzzed. He dug it out, giving it to me. “Can you tell me who that’s from?” He used his finger to unlock it.
I had to suppress the fangirl in me when I saw it was from Nolan Everwood. “Nolan.”
“Can you read it?”
I cleared my throat. “Based on the full minute of yelling your sister left in my voice messages, I’m guessing you found her? Let me know what you need from me.”
He laughed before motioning to the phone. “Do me a favor? Call him and put it on speaker.”
A second after the ringing filled the car, Nolan Everwood answered, sounding amused. “I hope you’re still in one piece. Do I need to rouse some people I know in Minneapolis and send them to patch your ass up?”
Tyler took the phone from me, raising it to his mouth, but he kept it on speaker. “We found her.”
“Good. Is everything okay?” Nolan asked.
Tyler slid a look my way. “We can get into the specifics later. I’m not alone right now, brother, but I think things will be okay. I’ll see Zoey tomorrow.”
Nolan fell quiet for a moment. “It sounds like we need to catch up.”
“Yes, we do. I’ll call you this weekend. It’d be good to talk before we beat your ass next Wednesday.”
Nolan laughed. “We’ll see about that. I don’t know what else you have planned tonight but try to stay out of trouble.”
“Can’t promise that.” Tyler smirked.
My hotel was just ahead, and Nolan ended the call as Tyler turned into the parking lot, pulling into a spot at the far corner.
I thought he’d want to talk, but he just got out with me, and as I took a step toward the hotel, he shoved his hands in his sweatshirt and turned away, heading down the block.
I watched. He obviously didn’t want to be around me any longer, despite what he’d said in the truck, and I knew I should let him go.
Right now. Right here. This was a defining moment.
If I let him go, whatever fucked-up situationship had developed between us would officially be done.
Over. I felt that in my gut. That’s what needed to happen. Let him go.
I didn’t move.
Turn around, go into the hotel. Remind yourself why he hates you…
Except I headed after him. My feet moved of their own volition. I heard myself call to him. “Where are you going?”
He turned back, stiffening when he saw me, and shook his head. “No.” His nostrils flared. “Leave. Go to your hotel. Go to your room. Forget me, Rain.”
I took another step toward him.
His eyes closed before opening again, tormented.
“Stop,” he said, still harsh. He gestured down the block.
“There’s a bar there. I’m going to get obliterated, and I’m going to forget you.
I’m going to forget everything about you, and then I’ll take an Uber home.
I’ll wake up to go see Zoey. If I feel like it, I’ll fuck someone else tonight. ”
Pain sliced me. “You don’t mean that.” I took another step in his direction.
This was stupid. I was being foolish. Rash.
He didn’t move away, breathing hard.
“You should,” I said, feeling myself peel away from my body. I was dissociating. “You should go and do all of that.”
We continued to stare at each other, chests heaving. He cursed under his breath. “Why do you think your brother hates you?”
I winced, but I was exhausted. He’d already asked once.
I didn’t have the strength to deflect it again.
I shrugged. “I don’t think it. I know it.
He’s always hated me.” My hands went up in a helpless gesture.
“There’s no great mystery to it. As far as I know, I never did anything.
I was just born, and I wasn’t supposed to be there. That’s all I can say.”
“That’s messed up. He named his daughter after you. How can you explain that?”
“I can’t. But I guarantee if Dane ever saw me again, he’d look right through me like he always did. Maybe you’re right. Maybe Dane doesn’t hate me. It was always a more cold indifference. I never existed to him growing up. That will never change. I know my place, and it’s not in that family.”
Tyler slid his hand around my neck to the back of my head, drawing me close.
I put my hands on his chest, feeling his heart beat through his sweatshirt. He pulled me even closer, smashing the space between us until only my hands kept us apart—my hands and our clothes.
He let out a soft breath, lowering his forehead to rest on mine. His fingers slid into my hair. “This is a bad idea.”
I focused on his mouth, how close it was to mine. If I lifted up on my toes, just a little, I could taste him again, and suddenly that’s all I wanted. “Agreed,” I whispered.
Yet we stood like that, in an embrace that wasn’t an embrace, and we breathed each other’s air. He muttered, “My sister’s going to have to get over it.”
My eyes jerked to his. Determination flashed there, like steel. “Wait.” I pressed back, my pulse going wild. “She can’t. What Daniel did—”
“Not the car accident, not her injury. You. She’s going to have to get over the fact that I want you, because Jesus Christ, Rain.” He shifted directions and backed me against the building behind us. His hips pressed against me. “I want you, and I’m fast losing the strength to stay away.”
I licked my lips, salivating to taste him again.
His eyes darkened. “Don’t do that unless you want me to do something about it.”
“We’re on the street,” I said weakly.
“It’s late. Anyone from our organization is in bed asleep.” He let go of me to pull his hood up. “Thank God hockey players aren’t so recognizable.” He cupped the side of my face and tilted me toward him as he lowered his mouth. “Are you ready to deal with this? I can’t stay away anymore.”
I clutched his shoulders. This time we were choosing. There was no going back.
“I’m sober.”
He paused. “I didn’t even think of that. You can consent?”
He began to pull away, but I yanked him back. “Yes. Now shut up.” I fused his mouth to mine and stopped thinking.