Chapter 56
TYLER
Skylar was blowing up my phone, but I was worried about Rain.
She was pulling away. I could feel it. I’d felt it last night, too, and it was getting worse.
If she could’ve disappeared inside herself, she would have.
The flight attendant asked her three times if she wanted something to drink, and finally I answered for her.
I don’t think Rain even noticed that interaction.
Her eyes were flat, walled off. And when we landed and began to deplane, she moved like a robot.
The guys noticed as well, shooting me confused and concerned looks.
Coach glanced at her a few times, but didn’t seem shocked.
I wondered about that. Had he known about her relationship with her brothers?
I felt like I was still learning, and the more details that came out, the more I was concerned.
She had paled, but she’d been listening to the TikToker until the interviewer asked Daniel about her.
She jumped in her seat at his words, and her eyes had started glazing over.
Dissociation. I didn’t know much about it, but Skylar had used the term a few times.
I think Rain had mentioned it as well. Was that what was happening here? I’d googled it on the plane and didn’t like the definition, a mental process of disconnecting from reality, or their feelings, thoughts. It was a coping mechanism for trauma.
I needed to learn as much about dissociation as possible.
My phone buzzed again.
I assumed it was Skylar. Her last texts had been about Rain. She had been anti-Rain until Zoey sent me that TikTok thing. Now her tune had changed.
The text was from Kashvi, though.
Kashvi: Martine reached out. She’s got the article ready. I’m sending you and Rain a copy so you can read over it.
Kashvi: document attached
Kashvi: I’m keeping abreast of what they’re saying about Rain on the hockey sites, and the news is traveling faster than I anticipated.
It’s only a matter of time until speculation starts about you and her.
Normally I’m not into outing a personal relationship, but you’re always a hot ticket for clickbait.
All the old tapes are going to come out from high school.
My advice is to bite the bullet and get ahead of it before Daniel gets more people to hate Rain.
So far that’s what’s happening. The TikToker who made the first video has been approached by his people.
They are pushing his narrative, and it’ll keep going the way they want.
Kashvi: Rain isn’t responding to anything. Are you with her? Can you talk to her about this?
My phone vibrated again.
Nolan: Dude. WTF is happening on your team? Is this true? Is Sister Connors working with you guys?
“Everyone,” Coach Hines called for our attention as we headed toward the locker room. “I know everyone is excited to get home, but Rain has asked for a chance to say something. If you all will sit and give her the floor? Thank you.” He inclined his head to her.
We went inside, and instead of grabbing our things and leaving, everyone stowed their bags or dropped them on the floor and got comfortable.
Rain stood to the side and looked down at the floor until it was dead silent.
My chest tightened. She looked like a little girl right now, and I ached at the thought of how Daniel had treated her growing up.
She was gone. I could tell. Her mind was somewhere far away.
I found myself praying she wasn’t going to resign then and there.
And not just for her, but the team too. The guys cared about her.
They could rally around her. I knew it. But she needed to stay.
She’d made too many inroads with too many of the guys.
And I… Fuck.
I was in love with her.
I had to admit that. I was in love with her. It’d been growing for a while. That was the sensation last night that had made me uncomfortable, but damn. It was true. I loved her. Heaven help anyone who tried to hurt her. They’d have to go through me now.
She cleared her throat and lifted her head.
I tried not to wince at the sight of her face.
Dissociation. That word again. I was staring at it in present tense.
Her body was here. Her mind was working.
She looked at us, but she wasn’t seeing us and even though she was about to speak, I knew she wasn’t with us anymore. I loathed my new understanding.
“I guess I’ll start with an apology,” she began.
She looked around, making eye contact with each guy—or appearing to.
“Some of you asked in the beginning if I was related to Daniel and Dane Connors. I lied by omission. I am related, but I was honest when I said I do not know them. I have no relationship with Keith, Daniel, or Dane Connors. I left that house when I turned eighteen, and until Dane’s game against you guys last week, I hadn’t seen any of them in person since.
What Daniel said on the video is untrue.
We are estranged, but it’s because of them.
I kept my last name because of our mother, but that’s it.
Keith Connors has never once wanted anything to do with me, and considering he decided that when I was six and my mother died, I have a hard time imagining that I did something to make him decide to turn his back on his only daughter.
You all know my brothers. Daniel has always been an asshole.
I’ve never done anything to him. I know what that video is saying and how it’s being spun, but I think the only thing I can say to you is that I’m sorry for not coming clean about my relationship with Daniel and Dane Connors from the beginning.
I wanted it not to be a factor, not to be part of my life, but it seems that’s not going to be possible.
And I’m sorry. If you can’t get over that, please let me know.
You need to be able to trust what I say in order for me to continue to do my job. ”
“What?” Meester squawked before someone hushed him.
Rain’s eyes found mine and stayed.
There. She was back in her body. I could see her again.
“I would like to remain working with the Grays, but you all need to know about one more thing. Tyler and I are in a relationship.”
My mouth fell open.
She—wow, yeah. She just laid it out there.
A buzz swirled among the guys, but I didn’t dare look at them. If one of them looked at her wrong, said one wrong word about her, I would lose my shit.
Coach Hines straightened abruptly and took a step in my direction.
But Rain wasn’t fucking done. “Now that you know that, I realize there might be an irreparable rift between me and you. I feel it’s only right to ask whether you guys want to continue working with me.
The organization should convene and let me know if I should stay or take my leave.
” Her eyes flashed with apology, and I felt that all the way through my soul.
She was saying goodbye in more than one capacity.
Damn it.
She knew what she was doing.
She was burning all the bridges. Every single one of them.
I was going to lose her.
She was leaving. I could see it in her eyes, in the way she stood. She was saying goodbye to me without the actual words.
But I couldn’t lose her.
I would not lose her.
She looked to Coach Hines. “I’ll do whatever you decide is best.”
His eyebrows pulled together, but he didn’t respond. I screamed silently at him to reassure her, to tell her that of course she needed to stay, but he didn’t. They’d have a meeting no matter what, weigh the pros and cons of working with her. But she was one of us. Didn’t they see that?
Dammit. Damn them all.
She was one of us.
She was a part of me.
She was mine.
They couldn’t let her go.
And yet, as she walked out of the locker room, everyone was quiet.
The door closed behind her, and I snapped. “Are you fucking kidding?” I snarled.
And the world went black for me.
Crash!
Thud.
Blood.
My voice felt hoarse from yelling.
I was still the one yelling.
Something broke, and I was the only one yelling.
After a moment, I came back to myself.
God.
The locker room benches were upended, paper strewn everywhere. A mirror tilted off the wall. There was glass on the floor. All over.
What had I done?
Then I felt another surge. “Rain…”
I inhaled, and the world slipped away once more.
When I came back the next time, Bruge and Brick held me against the wall
I couldn’t get enough air, though my chest was heaving.
There was blood.
Where was Rain?
I searched for her, ignoring the team who stared at me in stunned silence.
Had she come back? Was she in the room? She wasn’t. I couldn’t find her anywhere.
“You need to get a hold of yourself, man.” Bruge shoved me.
The guys stood in a semicircle, staring at me in shock.
I held up my hands, and blood streamed down my arms. I should’ve felt pain, but I felt nothing.
Except loss.
I needed to get to Rain.
I struggled against Bruge and Brick. “Let me go.”
“No, man. You went complete psycho just now,” Bruge said. “You gotta chill, and you need to let a trainer look at your hands.”
I growled.
Brick barked over his shoulder. “Get Hunter in here now to look at his hands.”
After a moment, the trainer rushed in, carrying his medical kit. He seemed winded, running over to us. “I’m here. Okay. Let me see.”
Bruge and Brick didn’t move.
Brick asked, “You going to go psycho again?”
“Rain.” I hung my head.
Bruge leaned closer. “We’re not letting her go, so calm the fuck down. Maybe trust us to have your backs, hmm? Now, are you going to be all calm-like and let Hunter patch you up?”
I held his gaze. He seemed to be telling the truth. I nodded, and both relaxed at the same time, taking a step back. Hunter cringed when he got a look at my hands. He touched one, turning it over, and used an alcohol swab to begin cleaning the blood.
Both Bruge and Brick hissed, but I wasn’t feeling a goddamn thing.
Hunter turned toward Coach Hines. “Our X-ray machine is down for repairs. The guy is scheduled to come later today, but Griffin will need X-rays. I don’t think we should wait. I should take him to the hospital.”
Coach Hines glared at me. “Do whatever you need to.”
Sunny stepped to the center of the room, his chest lifting. But Bruge spoke first. “One of us should go with him. I’ll go.”
Sunny’s chest deflated. He shot Bruge a confused look, but he didn’t say anything else.
Coach Hines nodded. “Go. Hunter, keep us updated.”
“I will, Coach.” He and Bruge made sure to walk beside me, a hand out if I needed them.
I didn’t need any of them.
The only person I needed, I had let walk out of this room by herself.
My mind whirled a mile a minute.
She was gone. Or she was leaving. She said she’d stay if the team wanted her to stay, but I’d come to know Rain. A part of her was gone. Daniel had done that to her. I didn’t understand it. But I knew it had happened, and it happened on my watch. It happened when she was right next to me.
There was only one way I could think of to keep her.
“I need my phone.”
Bruge held up my bag. “I’m assuming it’s in here?” He looked at my pants. “Or is it in there? Not sure I want to be that buddy-buddy with you…”
I glowered at him as Hunter began laughing.
I touched the front of my sweatshirt with the back of my arm and felt the familiar bulge of the phone. “It’s here.” I held up my arm. “Can you grab it for me?”
He growled low in his throat.
Hunter held up some keys. “You guys stay here. I’ll run and get the car. Just stay. Don’t leave.” He darted off across the parking lot. We’d just stepped outside the rink.
“I’m doing this under protest, but hold still, you complete psychopath.
” Bruge stepped close as Hunter took off.
He pulled the front pocket of my sweatshirt away from my body and angled his head to see inside.
Spotting my phone, he slid a hand inside to grab it and held it out for me.
It kept buzzing, but he just looked at my hands.
“I don’t think you can do much on it right now. ”
I shook my head. “I need you to open it for me and pull up my texts from Kashvi.”
His eyebrows went up, but he didn’t say anything.
I held up my finger. He touched it to the screen and unlocked the phone.
“Fuck, Griffin. I get like ten texts a day, and three of those are from my agent. You have forty new texts just this morning.”
“Ignore them. Pull up Kashvi’s and show me the screen.”
He did. The last text was the one I’d already read.
Kashvi: Rain isn’t responding to anything. Are you with her? Can you talk to her about this?
“Text her back for me. Tell her to release it.”
His head jerked up. “Release what?”
“Just type it.”
“No.” He began to put the phone away.
“Goddammit, Bruge! Just fucking type it. We’re losing her. It’s the only way to keep her.”
He didn’t respond for a moment, but his eyes narrowed. “You’re talking about Rain?”
“Yes,” I clipped out. “What she said in there is just a hint of the fucked-up shit her family did to her growing up. I don’t understand it, but I know it was psychological torment. She’s gone unless we do something drastic. I have something I can do, but you need to type that for me. Please.”
His eyebrows smoothed out. “You love her.”
“Of course I fucking love her. I went all Hulk just now in the locker room because you assholes are going to let her walk. As long as she’s here, we’re not going to lose her.
I can’t tell you anything else because I don’t understand it.
But this is what my gut says we need to do.
What I need to do. Send the fucking text, Bruge. ”
His lips pressed into a flat line, but he typed it out before showing me the screen.
Tyler: Release it.
I gave him a nod.
He hit send.
We waited. I could feel my tension ramping up with every second it took for her to respond.
Just as Hunter pulled up in his car, my phone buzzed with Kashvi’s response.
Kashvi: Done. Get ready. I’m assuming you and Rain both agreed?
Hunter got out and came around to open the passenger doors for us. He stepped aside. Bruge ignored him, staring at me in silent condemnation.
I breezed past Hunter to get into the front seat. “Don’t give me that look,” I told Bruge. “It was the only way.”
Bruge got into the back. “Did you have to take the front seat? Such a fucking diva.”