Chapter 9 - Ezra
It was hard to miss how easily we slipped into old habits—despite seeming like we were on a new page with one another because of the arrangement, Sebastian had been right about us being at each other's throats.
Ever since I broke things off between us, we have fallen into a constant state of bitterness and bickering. Between Zoe icing me out and us finding any excuse to express our frustrations, we are in an endless loop.
The arrangement had felt like a sort of truce—the opportunity to put all that behind us to help each other out. But apparently, I was wrong.
It was irritating how easy it was for us to argue about something so stupid, yet we were both too stubborn to back down from it. In that sense, we were so similar, which was almost painful.
The fight started because I tried to ease any pressure she might have felt to cook or provide in any way while staying at my place. As nice of a gesture as it was, I didn't want Zoe to assume she owed me anything. In fact, it was the other way around.
But, I had a knack for saying the wrong thing and just not getting my point across as intended. Of course, I managed to do it once again, causing a problem that didn't need to exist.
After a moment of silence, we both took a breath, looking away as we tried to regain our bearings.
Zoe eventually sighed, tone still tinged with irritation. "Maybe this whole thing was a mistake...we can't even agree on simple things without fighting. We're hopeless."
I hated how that statement seemed to pierce my heart. How it felt like she was prepared to give up on us and the arrangement, even if I had no right to feel that way in the first place.
"What are you saying?"
Zoe huffed, arms crossed. "How the hell will we convince anyone we're in love if we can't even have a conversation without arguing?"
I scoffed at that, irritated by the implication that there was no chance we could even fake it, despite how there had been real feelings between us once. How I threw it all away, and it made Zoe lose all faith in me.
Of course, I should've anticipated that. I should've known that bringing either of us back into that situation would be the farthest thing from easy.
But I had formed every idea and plan from sheer instinct and desperation alone. I didn't stop to think. I simply acted. And because of it, we were now in an impossible situation, left to try and get along without addressing anything from our past.
Frustrated by her sudden change of heart over one argument, I stepped forward and leaned against the counter. "You want to call it quits already?"
"Is that a surprise?" She questioned, irritation flaring all over again. "Why would I stay here and have you argue with me over the most ridiculous things just to convince your parents to leave you alone?"
I gritted my teeth and looked at her firmly. "I know we can be convincing. We just need to try."
"You have a lot more to lose from this than I do," Zoe muttered, arms crossed. "Your parents trying to force you into some arranged situation is none of my business, and I have the feeling I never should've agreed to this in the first place."
That wasn't what I wanted to hear at all.
We had already been on thin ice before, but with every word she said, I couldn't help but feel like she was slipping away from me more and more.
I hated how it felt like rejection, even if it was supposed to be based on faking a relationship rather than actually being in one.
Even if that was the case, it was almost like the tables had turned, and Zoe was discarding me. I didn't like how I found myself in her position, realizing how she must've felt that day I turned her away.
There were many reasons why I felt like an asshole, but knowing I hurt Zoe to the point of her not trusting me at all was at the top of that list.
I never wanted to hurt Zoe before, but I had to. And in that moment, I understood I didn't deserve her help in the slightest, but I needed it. And I needed her to not give up on us, even if I wasn't supposed to care about her that way.
"Look, I know this isn't ideal, and we're bound to butt heads, but—"
"But what?" Zoe demanded, giving me an unimpressed expression. "You can't possibly think we aren't both wasting our time with this."
My jaw tensed slightly at that. "No, I don't think we're wasting our time. At least, if we actually try to see eye to eye, then maybe this will all work out just fine."
She rolled her eyes, stoking my anger more. "And why can't you just say no to your parents? Why do you have to take some round-about course of action instead of facing this head-on?"
I try to control my anger, but it doesn't help much. "It's not that simple..."
"No? You're an alpha. You have more than enough strength and power to enforce what you want. If you don't want to be forced to accept this alpha's daughter, then you shouldn't have any problem declining it."
"If it were that easy, do you really think I'd be asking for your help?" I questioned incredulously, wishing she hadn't taken the conversation in that direction. I didn't like talking about my parents, and treading that line of discomfort was the last thing I wanted. "Obviously, I can't just do that."
Zoe huffed out a frustrated breath. "And why not?"
I could feel my patience slipping even more as our bickering continued, wanting more than anything to just drop it. But the words came out before I could process them better. "Because they aren't like your parents, all right? They're demanding and won't take no for an answer. That’s why they were at your opening day in the first place!"
Despite taking in my words and seeming to consider it at first, she narrowed her eyes at me. "I still don't see how that has anything to do with me. I never asked to be caught up in this situation, and I don't owe you a damn thing."
"No, you don't," I muttered, aware that she was perfectly right. "I was a jackass then, and I'm a jackass now; the only difference is that I need your help, and I'm pretty much begging for it at this point."
It annoyed me to admit it since even saying those words made me feel pathetic. But if swallowing my pride was what it would take, then so be it.
Even if this made Zoe pause for a moment, she still kept that stern gaze on me, unimpressed and doing her best to seem unwavering. "It doesn't matter how much you beg. As far as I'm concerned, you never deserved this help in the first place."
As she spoke, I registered her words, but the more we fought, the more I realized how beautiful she looked while angry with me.
Regardless of what happened between us, I always thought she was beautiful; in that moment, something about it seemed heightened.
I tried to focus on what she was saying as Zoe continued to ramble on, giving me a piece of her mind, but my mind was fixed on her easy perfection.
It reminded me of all those times we'd bicker, even in front of Sebastian and the others, and how I'd have to resist the urge to take her all over again.
Knowing that her anger and yelling turned me on was frustrating, but I couldn't avoid that fact.
Instead, I only felt more pulled to her.
Without realizing it, I took another step forward, feeling as if my system seemed to fill with a fog that only wanted more of her.
"You're right...I never deserved it," I murmured, hand absently sliding across the countertop as I drew closer to her, a short, almost imperceptible step at a time. "I still don't."
Zoe seemed almost confused at my words as she took me in, anger wavering for just a moment before it returned. "Yeah, you don't, which is why—"
Even if she was ready to rip me a new one for everything, her gaze flickered between my face and how I slowly drifted closer. As angry as she wanted to seem, I didn't miss how her body language seemed to falter.
There was tension in the air that tempted me more, making me question just how much Zoe really hated me or if a part of her still enjoyed the kiss on the opening day.
"What are you doing?" she questioned, breath catching in her throat slightly as she tried to steel herself against me and our proximity.
"Just...shut up for a minute..." I mumbled, closing the space until our bodies were much closer, my voice quieter than before.
Zoe's eyes widened slightly as I took her chin between my thumb and finger, making her look up at me fully as my opposite hand landed on her full, soft waist. While it looked like a protest was on the end of her tongue, she shut her mouth again and didn't say anything.
I knew I needed to be careful when it came to her and the volatile situation between us. I needed to be more considerate of her feelings and all the old ones I managed to screw up, but something in me just wanted it. I wanted her.
Ever since we had sex before, and I could feel the mate bond forming between us, I found myself running away from those feelings. I didn't want to admit them or pursue them out of fear, even if that bond seemed so tempting and familiar once.
Yet, in that moment, I couldn't help but acknowledge how much of a mistake that was.
There she was, standing in front of me while she advocated for herself, looking as beautiful as ever—as enticing as ever without even trying.
I needed to hold myself back and deny that longing in me, but with how she looked up at me with those gorgeous eyes, I couldn't resist. Her curvy yet defined body looked so perfect beneath me that I knew I’d be an idiot to pretend like it didn’t make me salivate to think about it.
Leaning in, I closed the rest of that space between us and pressed my lips against hers.
Tension moved through her body like it had when I kissed her at the gym, but as it lingered while I kept her close, Zoe started to melt into it. Regardless of how much she wanted to fight me, her body betrayed her so completely.
Before long, she pressed against me and deepened the embrace in a silent declaration that she couldn't deny that familiar longing either.
Regardless of how different we were, we always wanted the same thing.