Chapter 15 - Ezra
Even though the baby shower planning would likely have its own problems, I couldn't deny feeling at least somewhat smug about it.
Over the last few days, I have tried to gauge Zoe's thoughts on what is happening between us, but from what I could tell, she was trying to keep some distance.
I couldn't tell if that was her trying to resist me or if she still hated me, but either way, I felt I was more willing to accept our bond than she was.
Because of that, I didn't mind the idea of spending more time together. In a way, it seemed like it would work in my favor.
With the afternoon ahead of us, I had my hand on the steering wheel, driving out of town and closer to the city. Given the kind of things Sebastian wanted us to get, we figured going bigger would be better, and there would be more options if we left town.
I didn't mind at all, but there was obvious tension in the truck, and from what I could tell, most of it was coming from her side.
Zoe stayed relatively quiet in the passenger seat, looking out the window while the radio played.
As much as I wanted to talk, I recalled what happened the last time I tried to make small talk and decided I wouldn't risk starting our afternoon on a poor note.
Knowing she found it difficult to both come to terms with the bond and speak to me as candidly as she once did made my inner wolf feel restless. The bond within me was longing to reach out and connect, but my pride was getting in the way.
As we made our way to the shopping plaza, I couldn't help but think about how my parents demanded that I call off the fake engagement with Zoe. Even if it wasn't real, I still hated the idea for multiple reasons. I hated the thought of pushing her aside just to comply with my parents' wishes.
That was all I needed to know to convince me I wouldn't do it. I couldn't.
Even if Zoe still wasn't sure about me, I wanted to change that. I wanted her to want me and to be able to admit that to even herself.
Regardless of the time or effort it might take to get there, I was determined to show her I wasn't a monster.
"And we're here," I said finally as I pulled up to a parking spot and turned the truck off. I glanced over at Zoe, seeing the list in her hand. "Where did you want to go first?"
Zoe let go of a breath as if bracing herself. "Decorations are the biggest thing on the list...so we should probably start there."
Seeing the logic behind it and wanting to seem agreeable to keep the peace, I nodded. "Decorations it is. Since you're probably more familiar with this kind of thing, I'll let you lead the way."
Zoe simply nodded before getting out of the truck. I did the same, letting go of a steadying breath as I closed the door behind me.
It was either going to be surprisingly nice or incredibly agonizing. At that point, I hadn't decided yet.
Together, we made our way into a ridiculously huge craft store that had copious amounts of decorations. I elected myself as the cart driver while Zoe walked ahead, deciding I'd better not get in her way.
So, I followed her around instead and felt slightly out of place, but at least Zoe seemed to be completely in her element.
I watched closely as Zoe went wild on the decorations. With the chosen theme in mind, she grabbed everything and anything that seemed to mostly fit under that umbrella and placed it all in the cart.
In the beginning, she was still quite tense, keeping to herself as she picked items and put them in the cart frivolously. But once we reached the section full of celebration signs, she sifted through different variations of baby-related ones, seemingly stumped. Eventually, she held two up and lifted a brow at me. "Which one?"
Looking between both options, and immediately felt completely lost. Taking a moment, I murmured to myself before shrugging with a sheepish expression. "Why not both?"
Her brows knit together at first as she looked between them again, and then Zoe shrugged as well. "I guess you're right...both it is."
"Excellent choice, as always," I said light-heartedly.
I managed to catch Zoe's faint smile before she turned and kept going, and while it wasn't the biggest, most exciting gesture, it was enough to make me hopeful.
Fortunately, that was the start of a big improvement, and as we continued through the store, Zoe seemed more willing to have a good time.
Rather than retreating within herself, she asked me for more opinions, and thankfully, she took them into consideration. Rather than me simply following her around, it was like we were participating in the planning together.
After wrapping things up at the craft store, we perused around the plaza, eventually making our way to a baby store.
"Since we're here, we might as well look for gifts, right?" Zoe suggested, seeming pretty excited about the idea.
I huffed out a chuckle, then nodded. "Right, you are. Lead the way."
With a faint smile, she took the lead and began through the store, eyes lighting up at all the baby things.
Once again, I was mostly out of my element but tried not to let it show. Instead, I let her have her moment as she got lost in the excitement of it all.
Before long, she was cooing over all the small, delicate items and handing whatever she wanted to me. It didn't take walking through very many aisles for my arms to be almost full.
"Don't they have most of these things from the first baby?" I asked once the pile was so high I had to peer around it to see her.
Zoe gave me a dismissive wave, sounding more than confident despite not having any of her own yet. "Nonsense. Most of these things wouldn't survive after the first baby. Plus, new baby, new things. That's my motto when spoiling my nieces and or nephews."
I couldn't help but chuckle at the thought, and unwilling to argue with her on that, I returned, "Fair enough."
She hummed her amusement. "I waited long enough for my brother to have kids, so I'm not holding back."
Even if it seemed somewhat out of hand, I wouldn't question her thinking given how I was a few items away from fumbling it all.
After managing to get everything to the counter accident-free, I found myself lost in that comfortable headspace.
The change of pace was nice. Neither of us was bickering or butting heads; instead, we were actually getting along.
Despite our bond, it was easy for us to slip into old habits, but because we were both in good moods and focused on the baby shower rather than ourselves, that wasn't the case.
For a moment, as we waited for the seemingly endless items to be scanned and bagged, I had half the mind thinking we were getting those things for a little one of our own.
When I realized this wasn't the case, a slightly alarmed sensation moved through my system, along with the stirring of our bond—almost like a silent suggestion from my inner wolf itself.
A flicker of embarrassment and irritation hit me as I internally scolded it for putting that thought in my head. I wasn't ready to be a father yet, especially not while every aspect of my personal life seemed far too messy to bring a kid into.
Still, there was no avoiding how strange it was to find my mind wandering like that and how, regardless of how short, it felt...good.
Pushing it down as the bags were handed to us, I took most of them and tried to forget that almost affectionate feeling that sat heavily in my chest.
As we walked out of the store, I noticed Zoe's pleased smile, and seeing that gentle expression made more of those feelings pulse within me.
There was no denying how beautiful she looked, especially while she was perfectly at ease and taking charge of something. It was difficult for me to pull my eyes away from her.
"Any other stores you want to hit up before we head out?" I asked her, embarrassed to admit to even myself that I was somewhat reluctant for the afternoon to end.
Zoe considered it for a moment before she shook her head. She smiled faintly. "No, I think we should be fine for now. If we think of anything else, I'll add it to the list."
"That's probably a good thing...if we tried adding any more, I'm sure there wouldn't be any room left in the truck," I mused, chuckling to myself as we made our way through the parking lot.
Glancing between the many bags on my arms and the ones already in the truck waiting for us, Zoe giggled to herself. "I think you're right."
There was something about the sound, whether it was simply because that laugh belonged to her or because it meant she was in a good mood, and it made me want to hear it again. It made me want to entertain her all day and night, even if I only managed to get one more laugh out of her.
It was a beautiful sound, and I just wanted to hear it again.
Climbing back in the truck once the bags were put away, I couldn't help but feel how our bond seemed even stronger than before.
In a sense, it worried me. The stronger the bond, the more painful the break.
While I didn't want to break it, the thought of Zoe considering it nagged at me.
I didn't know how she felt about it, and the thought of asking her outright seemed so daunting.
But even if our growing bond concerned me, I wasn't going to deny how good it felt.
Before I could start the truck, my stomach made a noise, and I realized it was close to dinner time. Getting an idea, I glanced at her. "Want to grab something to eat before we head back?"
Zoe perked up at the question, nodding without needing any time at all to consider it. "Sure, I'm starving."
Pleased she had agreed, I smiled faintly. "What do you fancy?"
After a beat, her features brightened with satisfaction at the thought that crossed her mind. "I'd love a burger."
I cocked a brow at her as another flare of affection moved through me at hearing her say that. I was almost ashamed of how attractive I found that.
Pushing the feeling aside, I grinned and turned the keys in the ignition. "Burgers it is."