11. Pearl
ELEVEN
Pearl
“ W hat happened with you and Tracey?” I run my finger softly over Blake’s chest as he stares up at the ceiling. He lets out a long sigh before answering. “And don’t me that vague version.”
“We met after I moved back here from college. I was too ashamed to move back to Grand Lake so I went to Denver instead. I met her and we hit it off...wasn’t anything serious back then, just a casual hookup now and then. After a few months my dad got sick so I moved back to Grand Lake and she moved on with some other guy. She’s a city girl and I didn’t expect anything from her but we stayed friends.”
He stops for a brief moment as if he’s remembering that time in his life. It was rough when Mr. Winthrop got sick, it seemed like one day he was fine and a week later he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.
“Over the years we’d hang out, usually between relationships. Finally, she said she wanted something more and it just kind of happened. She said she was willing to move here to be with me since I was helping my mom with the cabins and starting my own company. So we lived here for a few years before I proposed and then about a year ago...I woke up one morning to the ring on her pillow and a note that said she missed her life in Denver and she was tired of waiting around for me since I travel for work so much. And that was it.”
The room is so quiet, I’m not sure what to say. “I’m so sorry Blake, that was a really shitty thing for her to do.” I say propping myself up on my elbow to look at him.
“Nah, she had to do what was best for her.” He doesn’t look at me, just runs his hand up and down my naked back.
A small sliver of moonlight peeking through the curtains is the only light in the room. “Do you still love her?” I don’t know what prompts me to ask that. I’m not sure I want to know the answer either.
“No,” he says before turning to look at me. “It’s okay that you’re still in love with Trevor, I’m not disillusioned to what this is.” He says without breaking eye contact.
My breath catches in my throat and a small pain shoots through my chest. I smile and nod, playing it off. I thought I’d made it clear to him last night that it’s not Trevor that I want.
“And what is this?” I ask coyly motioning between us. “Young virgin gets seduced by gruff mountain man who teaches her how to be with a man?” I say giggling, trying to lighten the mood.
He looks at me for what feels like minutes even though I know it’s only a few seconds and for the briefest moment I feel like he wants more and I silently pray he asks me for more. “Yeah, something like that. I mean, you know my track record. Not exactly boyfriend of the year material.”
He gets up and heads to the bathroom. I can hear the shower running as I slowly drift off to sleep.
It’s been four days since I slept with Blake and I haven’t heard a word from him. The morning after wasn’t exactly what I had imagined my first time would be like either. No pancakes or eggs, just a note from him that he had to run some errands and that I could stay as long as I liked.
“Have you heard anything about that job?” Jade asks as I sip my latte. We have a standing date every other Sunday. We grab lattes and Noodle, Jade’s mini Aussie and head out for a sunrise hike in the Rocky Mountains.
“Nothing since the initial email response about setting up a phone interview. The lady who messaged me said she was going to be out of the office but she’s back on Monday so she’ll reach out then. Am I crazy? I mean...this is home.”
“Pearl I think you’d be crazy to not get try something new. Yes this is home and it’s always going to be here. So, if this job in Chicago doesn’t work out or you get there and hate it then home will still be here. I just don’t want to see you sell yourself short by not even trying.”
Blake’s face keeps swirling in my head, what even am I to him? Why do I keep thinking about him and feeling guilty when I imagine a life for myself in Chicago?
“I slept with Blake.”
“WHAT?” Jade spins so fast she loses her balance and flings her latte off the side of the mountain.
“Shit!” I yell reaching out to catch her hand and steady her.
“You cannot tell me news like that when I could fall to my death!” She shouts motioning to the ledge a good twenty feet away. We both burst out in laughter as Noodle bounds up to us curious about the excitement.
“Okay, let's take a seat over here. I need a minute to process this.” She says pouring some water in a portable bowl for Noodle. “Tell. Me. Everything.”
I explain to her without any explicit details about how it all went down, “But, I haven’t heard from him since.”
“Wait hold up. He took your virginity and just bailed?” I can see the fire start to burn in her eyes.
“No, we didn’t have any expectations or anything and he thinks I’m still in love with Trevor and I’m pretty sure he’s still in love with Tracey. I saw him yesterday at the cabins in passing but I’ve noticed he hasn’t been to The Place at all this week and that’s not like him. I think he’s avoiding me.”
“Here’s my advice and two cents. First, you’re both adults so just say how you feel so there’s no miscommunication and second, if you both feel the same way then go for it. If you both just want it to be casual then don’t feel like it needs to be more than that. He’s your first Pearl, enjoy it...until you don’t or whatever.” I bump her shoulder and nod my head.
“You know you’re always right?”
“Yeah, I know. That’s what happens when you get your heart ripped out at 17, you become a bitter old woman.” We both laugh. I fear the day Memphis Styles ever has the nerve to show his face in this town again because Jade will rip it off the moment she sees him.
Several hours later I pull my bug into the parking lot of The Place when I spot Blake’s truck. It’s Sunday night so there’s a decent sized dinner crowd but he’s one of only two people sitting at the bar. His back is towards the door and I can he’s watching whatever sporting event is on the tv.
“Who’s winning?” I say sitting down on the barstool next to him. He turns to look at me and I smile, stretching out my hand toward him, “Pearl. Pearl Davenport. You must be new in town.”
A small grin spreads across his face, “I told you I had some errands to run.”
“Errands? I didn’t realize errands took four days.”
He lifts the tall beer glass to his lips and finishes it in two large gulps. “Had to run up to Bozeman for some lumber and to meet with an architect for a job I have up there.”
“So your business is back up and running then?” A small lump forms in my throat as I motion for Will to grab me a beer.
“Yup. That was the deal I made with ma. I told her after the cabin renos were done I’d be back on the road with the biz. I’ll check in on her and make sure things stay kept up but she can hire a handyman with all the extra revenue she’s generated lately.”
I had forgotten how much he traveled with his business. That’s a big reason why I never really interacted with him much over the years, even though he technically still lived here. I remember his mom telling me how much she worried about him and missed him when he was gone. She’d go weeks without hearing from him.
“Yeah, you did a great job with those cabins, they look fantastic and I can’t believe how booked up they are.” We both nod and he turns his attention back to the tv for a brief moment.
“So got any big projects coming up?” I try to sound nonchalant but I can hear the tension in my own voice.
“Go ahead and ask what you want to ask me Pearl.” He doesn’t take his attention away from the tv.
“What is this?” The words tumble out of my mouth.
“What do you want it to be? You know the line of work I’m in, that I travel and I’m away a lot. I’ve got a project in Alaska that will be at least two to three months and the Bozeman job could be just as long.”
I want to tell him that I’m falling for him, that what I feel is real and all encompassing. That I want more with him but I’m too afraid. I’m afraid he thinks he’s just a replacement for Trevor, a rebound. I’m afraid I’ll end up broken hearted and alone. I’m too afraid I’ll end up like Tracey.
“Actually, can we talk about this outside?” I glance around the restaurant. “There’s a few too many eyes and ears in here. I’ll meet you outside.” I say as I toss a few bills on the bar and head outside.
I lean up against his truck since my car is right under a lampost. I don’t want the local town gossip seeing us together and getting the wrong idea. I mean...they’d be correct about us but I don’t need everyone meddling.
The restaurant door opens and I see him step out, glancing around before spotting me waving by his truck. I watch him walk towards me and the lust I have for him takes over. If I can’t have a relationship with him, maybe I can just enjoy him and get him out of my system like Jade said.
Before he can say anything I push off the truck and grab a fist full of his flannel shirt in my hands, pulling him towards me until his mouth is on mine. He stumbles before catching himself against me.
He reaches around and grabs my ass, pulling me tighter against him as his other hand grips my hair. He’s rough, but it’s exciting. He knows I’m inexperienced and he’s gentle when necessary but he doesn’t let it stop him from taking what he wants.
He breaks the kiss and steps back, running his hands through his messy hair. “Pearl, unless you want the rest of Grand Lake to see you bent over the hood of my truck we need to stop.”
I pick up the keys he dropped when I kissed him a moment ago and unlock his truck. I open the driver’s side door and climb in, scooting over the passenger side. Without a word he gets in and we drive to his cabin in silence.
He slides the gear into park and shuts the truck off once we arrive, but instead of getting out he pulls me onto his lap. It’s completely dark and secluded where he parks but I still glance around as he undoes the buttons on my shirt. He presses his soft lips to my exposed neck and trails kisses and licks down my chest. My shirt hangs open leaving me exposed in my bra.
He reaches a hand up and pulls the cups down, taking my breasts in his hands. It’s like he’s trying to memorize me. He puts his hands around my back, pressing me forward until he begins to slowly lick and nibble my breasts, stopping only to switch from one to the other. I can feel his erection pressing against me.
“Tell me how this is going to be Pearl.” He says as he presses my hips down firmly against his manhood.
I let out a small moan as I feel wetness pooling in my panties. “I—I just want you. How long till you leave?”
“A few weeks” he says as he leans forward again and licks at my nipples. It’s like an electric current goes straight to my lower belly.
“Then let’s make the most of it.” I say leaning forward to capture his mouth with my own.