Chapter Eleven
Benjamin
Felix and I come up with a story for Monday.
He suggests that I just stay home and have Drew come over another day, but the thought of Dad taking something else—having power over another part of my life—pisses me off.
So mostly out of spite, I will go to school.
I will hang out with my friends. Even if I might look like I got hit by a bus. Fuck, everything’s still so loud.
“Hey,” Felix pops his head into the kitchen where I’m grabbing our lunches from Tina.
Having an authority figure who works from home around is pretty awesome in the food department.
“Aaron is going to drive us to school, and we’ll just ride back with Drew.
I already called him.” Before I can even open my mouth, he’s gone.
I regret giving him Drew’s number already.
I haven’t spoken to Aaron since he rejected me.
Since I called him a coward and slammed a door in his face.
He’s done his best to stay out of my line of sight, and even when I was on the verge of losing it after coming home yesterday, he kept his distance and just listened.
Only ever touched me with a rag when he helped clean me up.
He listened to my warning and kept his hands to himself.
But late last night I swear I felt him. Not physically, but it’s as if he came into Felix’s room and sat next to me, watching me sleep.
I think I saw the blurry outline of his figure, but I can’t be certain it wasn’t a dream.
It could all just be longing—my brain giving me a comfort I know I won’t get in real life.
This is going to be a car ride from hell to say the least.
“Let’s go!” Fe yells. Aaron walks into the kitchen, giving me a wide berth, not even looking at me. You asked for this, I remind myself. He grabs his lunch from Tina and bends down to kiss her cheek.
“Thanks, Momma.”
“Have a good day, Little Bird.” She says, patting his cheek. Just as he’s about to leave, she calls out. “Wait.” Tina looks between the two of us. “What’s going on?”
Fuck. This woman's intuition is no joke, man. I have no clue what to say. My hands are sweating and I can’t even look at her.
She’ll know—she’ll see the unrequited affection, the longing written all over my face.
She’s already been gracious enough with the situation involving my dad; I don’t want to reveal any more.
“Nothi—”
“Don’t you lie to me, Little Bird. He looks like he’s mourning.
It’s bad enough he’s been in a fight...” I can hear the sympathy in her voice.
Nope, I can’t take it. I’ll cry at any second now—I have to go.
I have to leave before it’s all out in the open, before she pulls it out of me.
Fuck, the Archer family is so good at tearing me apart.
“I’ll be in the truck.” I grab our lunches, kiss Tina on the cheek—opposite of the one Aaron kissed of course—and run out of the room.
I’m speeding down the front steps when Felix leans out of the passenger seat.
“Woah, killer. What’s up?” I climb into the back seat of Aaron’s truck, handing Felix his lunch and shoving mine into my bag.
“Huh? Oh, nothing. Just nervous I guess.” I lie.
“Well don’t be. I’ll tell Aaron.”
“Tell me what?” Aaron chooses that exact moment to open the driver’s side door.
He doesn’t look very happy. His bangs are no longer swooped back on his head, but hanging onto his forehead as if he was running a hand through them.
His face has red patches coloring the skin.
Clearly, his mom kept the conversation going after I left. Is he mad at me now?
“We came up with a story for Bear’s fucked-up face.” I shove the back of his seat.
“Hey!” Felix laughs at me. “I’ll have you know I’m still prettier than you, even with this fucked-up face.” A scoff.
“Yeah right. And I’d go as far as saying that it’s debatable even when you don’t have a fucked-up face.” It’s my turn to laugh at him, peeking at him from over his seat.
“Care to place a bet, Fe?” Felix looks at me, eyes widening, realizing he’s dug himself into a hole. This is going to be fun—a brilliant distraction.
“That’s like shaking hands with the Devil.” He mutters.
“So, you admit I’m prettier even on my worst days?”
“Never. What’s the bet?” I grin, setting my elbows on the middle console, my chin balanced on my closed fists as Aaron backs up and starts our drive.
“You can have home court advantage because I’m really such a nice guy.
” Felix snorts and rolls his eyes. “Ask the track team. Ask them if today, with my fucked-up face, am I still prettier than you. If they say yes, tally. No, circle. And at the end of the day, we’ll know.
Oh, we’ll ask Drew too since he’s coming over—he can be the last to vote.
” Felix is nodding, pulling out a notebook to write out two columns for circles and tallies with the question written at the top.
“What are we betting on?” Shit. I didn’t think of that. I hum, eyes staring at the stereo screen.
“Ah! If you win, I’ll finally let you teach me how to play the guitar.” Felix perks up.
“Really?!” After trying to persuade me to learn so I can play with him since middle school, he’s probably shitting his pants.
“Yes, really.”
“Deal!” I chuckle.
“Okay, okay. But if I win, I want Angel's number.” Aaron’s head whips in my direction but I pretend not to notice. Felix on the other hand, doesn’t.
“You okay, Bub?” Aaron turns back to the road and clears his throat.
“Yes. Sorry. Was checking traffic behind us.” Felix looks back to me with one of those I think he’s going crazy looks, and I smile.
“Okay Bear, deal. If you win you can have your precious number.” We shake hands. “But for the tallies, what about the team members you're not present for? Do I need to herd them all together or something?” I shake my head.
“No, I trust you.” He scoffs again.
“That confident, are you?” I grin and pinch his bicep as he giggles at me.
“Oh, yes I am. Plus, I can always as—”
“Benjamin.” Aaron’s voice is stern, borderline hostile when he speaks, and it makes me jump.
“Yes?”
“Please sit back and buckle up. It’s not safe to sit up like that.
You can have this conversation somewhere else.” Felix and I stare at him with our mouths hanging open, but he just stares straight ahead, lips set in a line and knuckles white where he grips the steering wheel.
“Okay, sure. Sorry.” I go back to my seat behind Felix and buckle up, staring out the window. It’s not long before my phone buzzes.
Fe
dude what did you do to piss off my brother
Bear
i think i may have pissed in his cheerios
Fe
LMAO
Fe
maybe amber isn’t putting out anymore
Fe
or maybe mom yelled at him, he’s sensitive like that lol
Bear
lol probably
I put my phone in my lap and stare back out the window. I don’t risk looking over at Aaron to see if he’s still mad. I know he is. I made him this way, after all. When thinking of what Felix and I should bet on, this sweet revenge came to me so clearly.
Angel ended up being cousins with Kayla’s best friend—something we found out before his date when we Instagram stalked Kayla so I could see more about her.
We saw the three of them in a picture and one rabbit hole later…
We know how Angel ended up at a Lancaster party.
I asked Felix to get me her number so I could apologize for never finding her and for Aaron’s attitude, but since I didn’t give him the reason and he didn’t want to ask Kayla right before a date, he told me no.
Now, I have no intentions of ever using that number.
Not only am I in no headspace to have an intimate relationship, whether it’s just sex or not, but I also have no interest in her.
Not Drunk Benjamin isn’t attracted to the dumb blonde act.
I also no longer feel the need to apologize.
I’m sure she forgot about me five minutes after going downstairs and I didn’t owe her anything.
Simple as that.
But Aaron—he doesn’t need to know any of this.
I want him to think I’m interested. That I’ve been trying to find her, seeking her out.
I want him to think I’ve been mulling over that night in the bathroom since she walked out.
That instead of thinking about his mouth on mine and his fingers thrusting inside of me, I’ve been obsessing over Angel’s moans and her big blue eyes.
The taste of her mouth. And now he knows I’m about to get what I want.
With this plan, maybe he’ll feel the pain I do.
I feel like a fucking idiot. All this is going to do is piss off his possessive, control freak, animal instincts. He doesn’t want me. He wants to own me so that no one else can. I can still hear his voice when he so blatantly told me so.
“Baby, you’re so close to being so fucked.
So close to never being allowed to be touched by anyone else ever again.
If you ever let me fuck you, if you ever put my dick in your ass, I won’t be able to take it.
I think I’d kill anyone who touches you.
That’s why—that’s why I won’t fuck you. But oh God, I want to fuck you.
Benjamin, baby, I really want to fuck you. ”
I feel sick, physically nauseous. He’s sitting right there, only a few feet away. Aaron’s fucking evil. How can he say those things to me and then walk away? How can he say that, touch every fucking inch of my body, and then tell me we won’t work? God, I think I’m going to throw up.
The heat from his body is practically seeping into mine from the proximity. I dig my nails into the bandages on my wrist, watching the brown fabric darken.
“Oh, speaking of Angel. Would it be weird to ask them to do a double date thing? If you win, of course.” Felix asks after a few minutes of silence. Having not a single clue what’s happened between me and his brother, he has no idea the fire he’s playing with.
“No, it wouldn’t be weird.” I never look away from the window.