Chapter Nineteen
Aaron
It’s October so everyone’s in a panic about Halloween costumes. In college this is a huge deal for everyone for some reason. Benjamin included, apparently—as he barged his way into my apartment mid-tantrum and threw himself onto my bed. Now I’m staring at him as he screams into my pillow.
Turning to my left I look at Felix—the unfortunate addition to this show since he was already here for pizza and movies—and say, “How do we fix him?”
“When it comes to clothes, we can’t.” He shakes his head, voice and expression grim.
Benjamin groans, sitting up to face us. His face is red and his hair is sticking up as he glares at us.
I try to ignore how similar this Benjamin looks to Benjamin when I’m fucking my fingers into him, and listen to his little monologue.
“You don’t get it. I had so many good ideas and he won’t do any of them. He said it’s very high school. Listen, gotta adore Drew, but that sounds pretentious as hell.” He takes a deep breath. “Okay, I take that back. That was mean and I shouldn’t talk like that.”
Watching him fight his own brain when it comes to Drew is kind of entertaining. I wonder what it is that’s keeping him attached to him.
“So, screw him. Do a solo act.” I shrug my shoulders, arms crossed as I stare down at him. He groans again, flopping backward onto his back—pillow in hand.
“Yeah, I tried. But every one I came up with, Drew made an hmm sound to—which means no, by the way. Ugh.” I look at Felix, see his sympathetic eyes, and return to watching Benjamin. I’m starting to think Felix doesn’t like Drew. I’m starting to think Felix sees a lot more than he shows us.
“What were the ideas?” He asks. Benjamin throws an arm over his face.
“Well, at first I wanted to be Mikaela from Seraph of the End. You know, pre-vamp. Cute little blonde, impulsive, ends up being super hot—and his type is tall, dark-haired guys. We’re the same person, basically.” Felix chokes on a laugh, eyeing me out of the corner of his eye.
“What was wrong with it?” I ask, clearing my throat and ignoring that last comment.
“The costume is a short-sleeved hoodie, a pair of shorts, and there’s those black ribbons. One on both ankles and one on his neck. They’re not ribbons in the show obviously, but you know.”
“So?” Benjamin sighs.
“I don’t exactly know. It might be the collar—people seeing me in it. Or it could be that when we were watching the show one day I said I’d let Guren fuck me.” Felix busts out laughing. “Yeah, I shouldn’t have said that. I mean, he’s animated? Whatever.”
Felix nudges my shoulder with his. “Guren is a tall, dark-haired guy by the way.” I can feel my face flushing.
Benjamin’s still lying back and groaning. I don’t get it. Was Drew always like this? Benjamin wouldn’t have dated him if he was.
“The other one was an angel. It was so common I thought no way I can go wrong with this—but,” He sits up, looking between us with an expression that reads, listen to this shit. “It was very provocative. And since we’re going out with everyone he doesn’t think it’s very respectful of myself.”
“Ah,” Felix says. “Kayla’s going as a sexy kitty. I get to look at her ass all night.” He’s grinning like a man who won an unattainable prize, and Benjamin jumps up—pointing right at him.
“See! Like damn. I didn’t plan on shaking my ass for the entire school, but he’s kind of tempting me.
” Felix keeps laughing, but I can see the building frustration in Benjamin’s eyes.
They’re close to a breaking point. Being out of that town and in the real world, Drew is losing his grip—so he’s grasping onto whatever he can find.
Drew’s been like this since the day they moved in almost two months ago—constantly hovering and watching Benjamin’s every move.
Sometimes he and Felix will be at the apartment and he’ll get a call, wondering where Benjamin is and why is he there at 8 P.M.?
The fuck? So weird. I know they’ve been in a few fights surrounding me.
I’ve seen the tail end of a few of them—Benjamin gesturing in the direction of the group and Drew shaking his head.
At the end of the day, Benjamin still treats me the same—the same way he treated me before I ever saw him naked back in 2017.
Except now he bears my mark and openly wears my charm.
Mine.
I’ll wait.
“I don’t know what to do with him sometimes. Once I explain why what he said or did was too overbearing he’ll own it and apologize and get all sweet and touchy. But two days later I’m outside of a coffee shop trying to calm him down over the phone.” God, he looks miserable.
“Whatever you decide to do or not do, we support you.” Benjamin groans and flops back again.
“Fuck this. Aaron, I’m taking a nap.” He crawls up my bed and tucks himself under my comforter—pulling in a deep breath as he buries his face into my pillows. Then he releases a content sigh.
I love him so much.
“Sweet dreams, Button.” Felix and I leave the room, shutting the door behind us. Once we’re in the living room he turns to look at me where I’ve dropped onto the couch. “What?”
“Drew has always been a good friend. And in junior year he was a really good guy. He was so good to Bear. It was a hard time for him and Drew really kept him together. Then, they started dating. Drew was obsessed with Bear. It was cute, but it just makes everything else more odd, doesn’t it?
” This strikes my interest, but unfortunately the play-by-play of their fairytale love story that I’m being subjected to does not.
“What do you mean?”
“Think about it. He’s a nice guy—befriended us most likely to get close to Bear—and was exactly what he needed.
Then they start dating and it’s like the volume was turned up by twenty.
Which is fine, until you think about how Bear’s dad was a dick to them and then Bear said some hurtful things when he was recovering from the trauma—and suddenly Drew’s completely different? ” I sit at attention, leaning forward.
“That is weird.” Felix nods.
“Sure, Drew was recovering too, but not to that degree. And he abandoned Bear. Do you do that to someone you love?” I shake my head no. “Right. And then, Aaron—I snooped on their talk. The one where Bear told him about that night after Ronnie.”
“What?!” Felix waves a hand at me.
“He knew the whole time. Point being, the way he told Bear you never loved him—that Bear shouldn’t think you ever did—implying you never respected him and shit-talking what he enjoys in, uh, in bed.
I understand he was mad. I would have been so angry.
But I never would have spoken to Kayla like that. Ever.”
I’m staring at my baby brother as he trembles in front of me. He’s got something big to say—the final send-off—but he just can’t get himself to say it.
“Go ahead, Fe.” He takes a breath.
“I think he’s hiding something.”
I’ve never considered it. I just figured he was dumb and mean. Brainless. Apparently, he’s a criminal mastermind.
“Don’t mention anything to Bear—I’m going to be normal until he wants it differently. Or something comes to light. Whichever comes first.”
The second time Felix says it, he says it like whatever Drew is up to has already been confirmed.
◆◆◆
A few hours later, most of our little friend group has gathered outside of the library.
Once we cross the street, we’ll be surrounded by Halloween parties to attend.
Halloween isn’t here yet, but in college you have parties to celebrate leading up to the party.
Benjamin is calling it costume test runs—which I think is pretty cute.
Josh and Angie stand close by—devil and angel, which is perfect in every way.
Cammie and Jenna are Bonnie and Clyde. Amber is a witch, but of course it’s a mostly naked one.
Gotta love her. Kade and Darian go as zombie basketball players—which is completely unoriginal, but to be fair so is a witch.
Alex is Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. It looks pretty convincing since I think he’s actually stoned.
Felix is a zookeeper, following around his sexy cat—something I find adorable and weird in so many different ways.
My costume is decently lame. When you don’t know what to do, you go Purge style.
Amber smeared fake bloody handprints all over my bare stomach and chest—some on my back as well.
I have a glowing, neon-blue smiley mask pushed up on top of my curls, and I’m wearing a pair of those camo, army-grade cargo pants with some boots. Bam. Purge.
We’re really just waiting for Benjamin and Drew, and everyone’s getting restless.
“He just texted—they’re almost here from Drew’s dorm.” I have a feeling there was a lot of bickering about whatever Benjamin is wearing.
I, more than anyone else, hate the idea of anyone even looking at Benjamin.
I actually feel a murderous rage most of the time.
But I’m not a dick and can tell that it’s not Benjamin’s problem.
He can’t control them. He’s enjoying dressing up and should be allowed to.
Damn. Drew really needs to get his shit together. And then give Benjamin back to me.
“Sorry! Sorry!” I hear Benjamin’s voice ring out—breathless like he ran here. We turn to look at him and Josh whistles loudly.
“Fuck, Aaron. Your little Button sure is something.” I ignore him—instead I take in Benjamin and his adorable little costume.
Benjamin is a tennis player. He has a green tennis racket in his hand, a green-and-white striped sweatband on his forehead—peeking out from under his hair with every move.
His thick-strapped tank top is white with some obscure green logo on the front, tucked into a pair of tiny green shorts with a white stripe up the side.
They stop right above my scar—leaving a good stretch of his legs bare before the thigh-high socks start right above his knee.
White base, green stripes horizontal at the top—and some white sneakers.