Chapter Thirty Eight
Aaron
five months later
Ican hear my mom. Whatever she’s saying is unintelligible—but I know it’s her. My mouth feels like a desert and my body like lead. How long have I been asleep? What is this beeping?
“Mom?” My voice does not sound like my own. Shuffling—a glass breaking on the floor.
“Aaron? Aaron!” I crack my eyes open to a painful sun—letting them adjust before taking a look around. My parents, Felix and Kayla, are all with me.
“What? Why are you—”
Benjamin. Our moment of freefall. I was there for so long. Did I die? Is this Heaven? Or did I come back to life? Where the fuck is Benjamin?
“You were in a coma, Little Bird.”
“Where’s Benjamin?” Felix sighs.
“You two are ridiculous. He’s probably at my apartment. He just got done with therapy.” Therapy? Felix’s apartment? What the fuck is going on?
“I… what?” My mom holds my hand—smiling at me with teary eyes, my dad the same behind her.
“You’ve been in a coma for five months, Bub.”
“Five months? What the fuck? And he’s okay? Why is he at your apartment?” Felix rolls his eyes.
“Yes Aaron—other than the coma, you’re in perfect health—fuck.
But yes, he had minor injuries and was only here for a few days.
Although they did have to physically restrain him for some of it.
” My eyebrows shoot up. “He was losing his mind. He would wake up and sprint in here screaming at you to wake up, grabbing you and crying. The staff didn’t know how to handle him. ”
I look down at the IV in my hand. I freaked Benjamin out pretty badly, it seems. But he’s alive and I’m alive and the infinite moment is over. How—I don’t know. I was certain we were going to die.
“Can we call him? Have him come?” I ask but Mom shakes her head.
“Let’s get you examined and discharged—then we’ll go see him. He comes every day so he might get here before we leave anyway.” My heart soars at her words.
“Every day?” Mom laughs a happy, watery laugh.
“Yeah. Bear has come every day for five months. He’ll talk to you—play your favorite shows or music. He even shaves your face for you, which I find very adorable.” Felix nods at her words, rubbing his chin.
“Yeah—he eats lunch with you most days. On therapy days he does dinner. He hasn’t stepped foot in your apartment since that day so it’s been kind of annoying hearing let’s go see Aaron—do you think Aaron will be awake?
Guess what I told Aaron today. But it’s been really nice seeing him improve like this. He… he promised you.”
“Promised me?” I ask—tears slowly spilling onto my cheeks as I listen to the events of the past five months.
“The day he woke up and found out you were in a coma, he came in here and lost it. He promised to eat, to talk, to leave the house. He said he gets it now—that he wouldn’t die.
I think he actually—Mom, close your ears—” My parents plug their ears and Felix leans in and continues in a low, awkward voice.
“I think he actually said something along the lines of finally letting you fuck him in the kitchen?” I burst out laughing, dropping my face into my hands.
“Oh my God.” My little Benjamin. I will hold him to every promise he made.
“Yeah—so he’s been working really hard to be able to fulfill those promises by the time you woke up.
He’s gone to therapy twice a week every week since he was discharged and he’s slowly started eating more—leaving the house.
He’s doing well. For you.” The soft cries feel so hot against my face—so loud in the quiet room.
I feel as though we were given another chance. That we have circled back around, ending up together once again like two little planets in orbit—always drawn together.
“Little Bird—why don’t you take a shower while we get the paperwork together? I can imagine you’d want one.”
“Yes. A shower would be great.” I feel disgusting. No amount of shaving or sponge baths were going to make me feel less grimy after five fucking months.
◆◆◆
Three hours later I’m in Felix’s car heading to his apartment. Luckily Benjamin had brought me a set of clothes for when I woke up a couple weeks ago. Black shirt and jeans—of course. Apparently, he was very confident I would need them soon. He was right.
I can feel my heart pounding like we’re going on our first date—like I am a high school boy about to ask out his crush.
If he hadn’t been visiting me every day—trying so hard to get better—I think I’d be having a panic attack wondering if he still loves me or not.
Of course he does—we’re destined to be together.
Of course he does. No amount of time in that infinite fall would have changed that.
When we enter Felix’s apartment I can hear movement in Benjamin’s old bedroom. Kayla had turned it into a guest room when he moved in with me so long ago.
“Bear! I’m home.” Felix calls out to him, grinning from ear to ear.
“Hey!” His voice. God, I miss him so fucking much. I might have been asleep, but I feel like I haven’t seen him in years. “I’m packing a little bag. I’m going to stay with Aaron tonight. Want to come have dinner?” Fe nods his head toward the bedroom—telling me to go to him. Breathe, Aaron—breathe.
Benjamin has his back to the door, shoving random clothes and toiletries into a backpack. Feeling a presence behind him he keeps talking.
“There’s another race on so I’m thinking of streaming it to the TV. I really do think the bike sounds are helping—I don’t care if you think I’m crazy.” He’s laughing as he talks, grabbing a laptop off of the other side of the bed.
Benjamin looks exactly the same from the back. Same golden hair—same little back dimples, same smooth skin. He’s wearing some low-hanging sweatpants and a little blue crop top. His black socks give him zero traction so as he moves to lean over, he slides a bit. So beautiful. My sweet Button.
“Ten bucks says if I yell at him some more, he’ll wake up tonight.” There’s a sadness laced into his happy tone, his shoulders sagging as he zips the bag.
“I’d take that bet.” Benjamin’s entire body tenses—not a single muscle moving, not a single breath taken. “But now you owe me ten bucks.” He stands up straight, back still to me, now breathing loud and fast.
“No…” He whispers, shaking his head just slightly, like he won’t let himself believe it. Like he can’t afford to.
“Benjamin.” I’m using that stern voice—the one that commands him so easily. “Turn around.” So he does.
Slowly, like he’s fucking terrified, eyes on the ground.
When they land on my shoes—the ones he brought for me—it confirms it.
It makes it real. His gaze shoots to mine and an expression I’ve never seen before—such a heavy mixture of absolute joy and overwhelming pain—contorts his face.
He sobs, running straight at me. I catch him in my arms, breathing him in, holding the back of his head as I force his face into my neck.
He wraps his legs around my waist, arms around my shoulders.
“Aaron—” He cries. “Aaron, you woke up! You remember me?” He pulls back enough to see my face—searching it. “You know who I am? That you loved me?” Benjamin looks terrified—like I might not even as I’m holding him in my arms.
“Love. That I love you. Yes, Button. I would never forget you.” His mouth is on mine—hands gripping my face so hard that I groan against the pain.
His tongue forces its way in to rub against mine—to lick everywhere he can, to taste me like he’s been starving without it—damn near slicing me open with that fucking piercing.
Then, he shoves me away, hopping down. Oh—he’s angry. One hard punch to my chest.
“You are in so much fucking trouble, Aaron Archer.” The glare Benjamin is leveling me with is actually kind of scary. I reach for his hips, to hold him some more, to feel him. He sidesteps me.
“What?! Why? I’ve been sleeping for months. I couldn’t have done anything.” I’m grinning at him, but my comment definitely makes it worse.
“How dare you jump. Are you fucking stupid?! I slip so you think—okay cool let’s both fucking die.”
“That’s exactly what I thought, actually.” I confirm and as his mouth hangs open in shock I tell him— “I would follow you anywhere Benjamin—even into death.” His eyes are watering again, narrowing on me with so much anger and love and misery.
“I am so pissed at you. So fucking mad. I oughta beat your ass. Maybe put you back in a coma so you can sit and think about what you’ve done.” We hear Felix burst into laughter in the other room, so I turn around and shut the door.
“Baby, that’s not fair. You were literally about to jump.”
“Not anymore!” He throws his hands up in exasperation. “I was coming down!”
“Yes, but you still fell. And if you go—I’m going too. No matter where.”
“Ugh!” He turns away from me—walking toward the backpack on the bed. He doesn’t make it far before I’m behind him, pulling him back against me. Benjamin lets out a quiet, breathy groan when his back hits my chest, hand covering mine on his stomach.
“Don’t be mad, Button. I can’t live without you.
You know you would have followed me too.
” He says nothing, just gives me more skin to drag my lips across as he tilts his head to the side.
“I saw you the entire time.” His breath catches.
“The entire time I was asleep I was stuck in this one single moment with you. You looked so beautiful—I wanted to tell you how much I love you.” I slip a hand under his shirt, running my fingers up over his soft stomach and to the bars in his nipples.
“How much I wanted to touch you—to hear you.” Benjamin is panting now, hands grasping my thighs.
“Aaron—please. Let’s go home. Right now.” Grabbing under his jaw I tilt his head back to look up at me—seeing the heat in his eyes, the love and the longing.
“You have to wait, baby. My family wants to see me for a bit since I’ve been asleep so long.” Benjamin whines and I loosen my grip enough for him to speak.
“I’ve been waiting. So patiently.” Aw, fuck.