Chapter 10
TEN
HATTIE
Isit back in the truck as Casper starts the engine. Heat warms the chilled air, but neither of us talk. I don’t really know what to say, and neither does he.
I’m not surprised by Stella’s request. The audacity to ask, either. But I am shocked by what Casper revealed, even if it was only part of whatever bigger thing happened between them.
“What did you mean by that?” I ask quietly, watching him as he sits back in his seat.
“I don’t know,” he replies, eyes on the steering wheel. “I do, but—fuck.”
He pulls away from the curb, scrubbing a hand down his face as he does. There’s a part of me desperate to know what it meant, to understand that time better. But I’m also deeply afraid of pushing him.
He might have been worried about scaring me away, but now, I’m the one sitting on the sidelines, forced to watch on as he goes through something I don’t understand.
I blink hard against the threat of tears as emotion thickens my throat. “You can tell me anything,” I say, closing my eyes. “I won’t judge you, Casper. Not for what happened. It hurt when you two got together, but if there was something else, something you haven’t told me…”
Casper is quiet for a long moment before he rests his hand on my knee. “I want to tell you. I just don’t know how.”
“I’m here for you,” I whisper, forcing my eyes open. We aren’t heading towards the inn, I realise. Or the diner. Frowning, I sit up. “Where are we going?”
“Home,” he says, squeezing my knee.
“You shared something totally earth shattering, but won’t explain it, and you want to take me home?” I ask, heart pounding. “Why?”
“Because the night’s not over,” he replies. “And I do want to tell you. I think it’s time to. I need you to know that I never, ever did anything with Stella. Not ever.”
“You dated her, despite knowing what she did to me,” I point out hesitantly. “You still chose her over me at some point. She still got between us.” But now I’m starting to think it was more than that.
Despite the darkness of the truck, I notice the tick in his jaw as he clenches his teeth. “Yeah,” he says shamefully, I think. “But you don’t know the whole story about that, either.”
I shudder, wrapping my arms around myself tightly. It has to have something to do with that comment. There’s a part of me who doesn’t want to hear anything more about her.
And yet… “What don’t I know?”
He spares me a quick look before sighing. “I wasn’t with her because I wanted to be,” he admits, voice low. “It happened at a party. You were away at that art camp you finally convinced your mom you wanted to go to.”
I nod slowly. “I remember. We were emailing the whole time.”
“Yeah.” He takes us onto the ranch, which is dark. The main house has the lights out, the wedding venue quiet. “It was Stella who convinced your mom to let you go. She admitted it to me. Because she wanted to make sure we’d be alone.”
My heart races as he pulls into the main house. God, I haven’t been here in years.
“What happened?” I ask, turning to him fully. “She wanted you alone. Why?”
“She wanted to get me alone to sleep with me.” I press my lips together and let him continue, but I’m not surprised. She had to have everything I had. I just never really thought about how badly she wanted my best friend.
“Stella and her two little followers showed up,” Casper continues, his voice full of shame.
“She came to me with hopes of getting me to sleep with her, and was surprised when I said no. The friends laughed, she got pissed, and then she started talking shit about you. Wanted to know if the reason why I wouldn’t fuck her was because I was already screwing you.
If Calder was, too. She made comments about you being ours for fair use, and I was pissed. ”
Why does she hate me so much? Why did she hate me so much then, and even now? For years, I’ve tried to figure out why.
And I don’t know why this finally breaks me.
I let the tears flow freely and sit back. All the nasty things come back to me; the harsh words, the shoves, stealing things that meant something to me. Within weeks, she’d had my own mother wrapped around her little finger.
Cas leans over and wipes the tears away. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head with a strained laugh. “I don’t know why I’m crying. That’s so on brand for her.”
“I should have told you sooner,” Casper murmurs, “but I wanted to protect you. I would have done anything to protect you. And I need you to know that the only reason why I even entertained the idea of Stella was because I thought I could keep her away from you.”
My stomach bottoms out when I meet his concerned stare. There’s something in his eyes that tells me he isn’t lying, and I don’t feel like he is, either.
It’d always rubbed me the wrong way that he decided to give her a chance. It was a betrayal of our friendship—of my love for him. So, knowing now that he did it to protect me?
I don’t really know what to think.
“She said she’d stop,” he continues, “if I just…chose her.” Casper shakes his head as he cups both my cheeks between his warm hands, thumbs wiping away stray tears. “I thought that maybe I could do it. Could get her to leave you alone.”
“But she was worse,” I whisper, leaning into his touch. “She made my life a living hell because she was with you. Because on the outside, it looked like you turned on me, too.”
Casper’s eyes shutter and he drops his head.
“I can’t make up for what I did before. I thought…
I really thought I was protecting you. But now…
” His eyes open, and he takes me in with such reverence that it makes my heart skip a beat.
“I love you, Hattie Simms. More than anything. I thought staying here would be what’s best, but I see now that I was wrong.
I want a life with you, a future—and I don’t care where that is.
If it’s in Willow Ridge or New York or Milan.
I’ll follow you anywhere in the world as long as I get to be with you. ”
His words have my heart racing, belly flipping for entirely different reasons. “You’d leave the ranch…for me?” I ask, breathless.
Casper bows his head in a single nod. “Yeah, shortcake. I get why you don’t want to stay here. Your family are here, and they…they would make our lives hell if you stayed. I understand that now. It was selfish as fuck for me to make that deal. I get that now, and I—”
I cut him off with a kiss. Casper melts into it immediately, his fingers moving to cup the back of my head, bringing us closer, deepening the kiss. My hands stray to his chest. If I could get closer, I would climb the centre consul in a heartbeat to mould our bodies together.
But he breaks the kiss with a gasp, resting his forehead against mine. “What was that for?” he asks breathlessly.
“It was for everything,” I whisper. “For trying to help me. For having my back tonight. And for choosing me.”
“I will always choose you, Hattie.” He meets my stare with a fierceness that has my heart stuttering. “I always have.”
Emotion thickens my throat, making it hard to breathe.
But I swallow hard and pull back to take all of him in.
It still surprises me that he’s willing to give up his life on the ranch.
That he’d follow me around the world if that meant we got to be together.
I never thought I’d ever get lucky enough to find someone willing to do that for me.
But I also know Casper, and his life is on this ranch. My dreams used to be here, too.
“I’ll make you a deal,” I say, voice hoarse. Casper’s eyes darken, but he gives me a nod, remaining quiet so I can continue. “One year. We spend one year abroad. We travel and see the world together, just like we said we would. And then we come home for good.”
Casper’s lips part like he wants to say something, but I quickly shake my head.
“I always wondered what life would be like here. With you, your family. And I know that you’re not meant for big cities like New York, Casper.
You’d hate it. I barely even tolerate it.
” He barely hides the smile pulling at his lips, one that makes my chest warm.
“So, let’s do one year together away from the drama that’s going to come.
Stella won’t take that lying down. But I’m tired of wondering what they’ll do to me. I’m so sick of being scared of them.”
“They can’t take anything from us,” he replies, leaning in closer so our noses brush. “Not anymore. No more years apart. I accept your deal, shortcake. I’ll go with you for as long as you want. We’ll see the world. And when we come back, we’ll build our home together.”
A shiver rolls down my spine at the promise in his words. “Deal,” I whisper, closing my eyes as images of what life will look like spring to mind.
And I really, really like the idea of it.