Nineteen
Gabriel
The pizza was hot, cheesy, and hit the spot perfectly. Xin only ate a couple of slices while I demolished the rest, and as we ate, we talked.
"So what all can you do with your magic?" I asked before taking an unreasonably large bite, then instantly regretting it. I must have looked like a damned squirrel with my cheeks all puffed up.
"I think the better question would be what can't I do?"
"What can't you do?" I repeated with a roll of my eyes, making them grin.
"Well, I can't cause harm to humans," they said as they started counting on their fingers.
"I can't bring anyone back from the dead, or save someone on the brink of death or create life; I can't give someone else powers; I can't tell people about what I am and where I'm from, so I can't do anything that would expose my magic; and that's about it. I think."
I stared at them for a moment, pizza slice hovering in front of my mouth. A piece of pepperoni fell off the slice, breaking me out of my stupor. "Wow. There really isn't a lot you can't do, huh?"
Xin shrugged, and I thought about it for a moment. "Could you..."
"Yes?" they prompted when I trailed off, and I chewed on my lower lip before exhaling gustily.
Finishing the slice of pizza—the last one, I suddenly realized—I pushed the box away, and Xin took my hands in theirs, magicking them clean. So damned useful. They were going to turn me into a lazy bum if they kept doing this.
"You messed with Patrick's memories, right? Made him forget things?" I asked, and they nodded. "Could you do the opposite of that?"
"Give someone new memories?" they asked, confused, and I shook my head.
"Recover forgotten memories."
"Ah," they murmured, eyes lowering to our joined hands as they thought about it. "Yes, I can do that."
"When I was six," I said, clearing my suddenly dry throat. "My parents took us to Disneyland. I know it was a great day, but I don't remember much about it."
Xin's gaze softened as they leaned forward, the ends of their hair brushing against my arms. "I can help you, but I'll be able to see your memories too, and anything you think of while I'm in your head."
"So not just memories, but thoughts too?" I checked, and they nodded.
I swallowed hard. That wasn't a small thing, but if I could remember that day, it would be worth it.
"Okay. Let's do this."
Leaning forward, Xin kissed my cheek, then gave me a soft smile. "I won't pry, okay?"
I nodded, and they squeezed my hands, then told me to close my eyes.
"Think about that day. Think about anything you do remember. It will create a mental path for me to follow so I can unlock the rest of the memories."
"Okay," I murmured, doing as he'd asked.
I remembered how excited I'd been, how I hadn't slept at all the night before. I remembered the castle, or maybe I'd imagined that.
Xin squeezed my hands, and something warm and wispy surrounded them. Their magic?
No, think about Disneyland.
I thought about meeting a princess, though I couldn't remember which one it'd been. Cinderella? Snow White?
Suddenly, Belle appeared in my mind, a sweet smile on her face as she bowed to me, then placed a paper crown on my head while I tried not to faint from the excitement of it all. Oh right, Belle had been my favorite, hadn't she? Though I'd certainly wanted to be her more than anything.
"Gabriel," a warm voice said, and my chest ached as I turned to look at the man who'd spoken to me. Dad.
I had pictures of him, of course, but I'd forgotten how warm he was. How he was always smiling, no matter what. How he'd been a total softie and let me get away with almost anything.
"Dad! Look, Belle gave me a crown!" six-year-old me exclaimed as he raced up to Dad, and he picked me up, a wide grin on his face.
"I see that. Come on, Mom and Kev are waiting for us. You wanted to go on that ride, didn't you?"
"Yes! Will you take care of my crown? I don't want to lose it," I said, and Dad carefully flattened it before sliding it into his pocket.
"Of course, little man."
The memories flitted past one by one, the rides, the food, the utter joy I'd felt that day. God, how could I have forgotten a day like that?
The memory ended with me curling up in my own bed once we were back home, the flattened crown resting under my pillow.
Where was that crown now? I remembered having it for a time. Had I lost it when we moved out of our parents' house?
Something squeezed my hands again, and I remembered. Xin.
That fear I'd pushed away earlier returned in full force, fueled by the newfound memories of the people I'd lost.
I already cared deeply about Xin, and the thought of losing him... if I lost Xin...
I couldn't—I couldn't breathe.
My heart squeezed in my chest, my lungs constricting horribly, and I felt like I would die at any moment.
At least then I wouldn't have to face losing Xin.
I jerked forward, flailing as something—as someone wrapped around me, their arms tight as they held me to them, as they tucked my face into their neck. There was wetness between our skin, and I realized I'd been crying.
My hands were free now, and I circled them around Xin, clinging to them as I let the tears flow silently.
Xin didn't say a word. They just held me, steady and strong against the maelstrom of my emotions.
When was the last time I'd clung to someone like this?
Right after our parents died, I'd cried into Kevin's arms, and he'd cried with me. But it hadn't taken me long to realize how hard Kevin was working to make our lives normal again, so I'd pushed back my tears and tried to be a happy kid so he wouldn't worry.
Now here I was, crying into the arms of the person I'd just gone on a first date with, had just had sex with. What did Xin think of me? Did they wish I wasn't their mate?
Xin
I'd still been in Gabriel's head when that panic had flared through him, and the intensity of it had shocked me. Gabriel was terrified. Of losing me.
I didn't blame him. He'd faced more loss than any one person should have to. He'd lost everyone who'd ever loved him, and it had made him close himself off from love in all its forms. He was close with Aisha, but he kept her at a distance too.
And now he'd let me into his life, into his heart. No wonder he was terrified.
I certainly hadn't made it easier for him by sharing my mission and the dangers it entailed.
I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't die—though 'die' was a relative term since I was already dead—that I wouldn't leave him.
I would never willingly leave, but if something happened to me, I might not have a choice.
Maybe it would've been better if I'd waited until the dark souls and Mammon were captured before approaching Gabriel, but I hadn't known then what I knew now. That day, I'd just wanted to help him.
"Gabriel. Gabriel, listen to me," I murmured as I loosened my arms just enough that he could lean back and meet my eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere. Yes, my mission is dangerous, but I swear I will be careful.
I don't have any intention of leaving you, got it?
Even if you push me away, I won't go. I won't leave you. "
Gabriel gazed up at me with tear-filled eyes, then hastily scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry," he choked out, and I shook my head.
"Don't. Don't apologize."
Gabriel swallowed whatever he was about to say and nodded quietly. I wiped away the tears under his eyes, then kissed his soft lips.
"I'm pretty powerful, you know. It might not seem like it in this human form, but I'm quite tough. I'll be just fine."
Gabriel peered up at me, curiosity flaring on his face. "Can I see it? Your true form?"
"Of course. Just remember that it's still me, and I won't ever hurt you."
Gabriel gave me a puzzled look, as if the idea of being scared of my true form hadn't even entered his mind.
Shaking my head, I slipped off the bed, then let the illusion of my human form drop away, revealing my true form.
My hair and my tattoos were the only parts of me that stayed the same.
My height increased by a few inches, my skin took on a bluish tone, small scales that gleamed blue and silver covering the backs of my arms, neck, my back and the sides of my hips and legs.
Wicked claws covered my fingertips, and small, knobby horns protruded from the top of my forehead.
Gabriel gazed at me, his lips parted and eyes wide in shock, and I couldn't quite tell what he thought of me. I shuffled, resisting the urge to shift back, and he leaped to his feet, coming closer.
He reached up to touch me, a question in his eyes, and I nodded, my eyes fluttering shut when he placed his palm on my chest. His skin was smooth and cool against mine, and he made a humming sound deep in his chest as he moved his hand up to my shoulder, tracing the edges of the scales there.
"You're like a merperson," he murmured, the awe clear in his voice, and I pulled him closer.
It was only when he let out a surprised gasp that I realized I hadn't used my hands.
"You can move your hair," he said slowly, awe and wonder coating every word, and I met his gaze, trying not to smile. He really did like my hair, huh? I could have some fun with that.
"Hmm. I don't do it often. My hair is sensitive, so I don't like it being touched, or touching things with it."
Gabriel, who'd been reaching for my hair, froze, and I chuckled softly.
"Not you, Gabriel. You can do whatever you want with it."
Gabriel shivered, his eyes heating as he gazed up at me. "You like it when I touch your hair?"
I smiled, not at all flustered as I nodded. Of course I did. He was so careful with it, so clearly adored it.
"Did it hurt when I tugged at it earlier?" he asked with a wince, and I shook my head.
"I don't feel it as much in my human form, so it's okay then. But maybe don't do it when I'm like this."
Gabriel nodded, his fingers gentle as they slid through the strands of my hair before pulling away.
"You have scales on your face too," he murmured as he reached up to touch my brows—now scales instead of hair—the tops of my cheeks, my chin. "They're softer. Smoother."
I hummed, letting him explore me however he wanted. At least this had distracted him from his fears. For now.
Gabriel explored me for a few more minutes, then let out a jaw-cracking yawn that made me smile.
"Come on, time for bed."
"You'll stay, right?" he asked, reaching for me, his hand hovering in midair for a moment before I clasped it in mine.
"Of course. Would you like me to shift back?"
"Only if it's more comfortable for you."
"I'm fine either way," I assured him as I held up the covers and waited for him to slide in.
"Then stay like this," he said, brown eyes warm as they roamed over me, and I smiled.
"As you wish."
Sliding in beside him, I turned off the lights, dousing the room in darkness. Gabriel shuffled closer, and I wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing my chest against his.
He sighed softly, then kissed my chin. "Good night, Xin."
"Sweet dreams, Gabriel," I murmured, and he shivered.
He'd done that before, and I realized now that it was always when I said his name.
Did Gabriel like the way I said his name?
I filed that away for later as I let my eyes fall shut, though scratching at the door pulled me back from the edge of sleep.
I flicked a hand, and the door unlocked, letting in Gray, who clambered onto the bed and made himself at home near our feet.
I closed my eyes, and this time, there were no interruptions, and within seconds, I was asleep, my mate securely held in my arms.