Twenty-Three
Gabriel
Aisha came over for dinner the next evening with her husband, Ravi. They'd been married for a year, and while I didn't know him as well, I got along with the guy because he was good to Aisha.
Aisha wore her trademark off-duty outfit of dark-wash jeans, a button-down box shirt patterned with lilies—she had a closet full of flower-based shirts, a gift from her gardener husband—and black boots, her dark hair in its usual bob and some light makeup dusting her face.
Ravi, all lankly five-and-a-half feet of him, wore black jeans with a few small dirt stains, as if he'd had to help some plant on his way out, and a short-sleeved t-shirt with a denim jacket on top, his round glasses halfway down his nose already.
They arrived with a bottle of wine, and I took it from Aisha before pulling her into a quick hug.
A part of me wished I could tell her the truth about Xin, but I knew it wasn't my secret to tell, and I doubted Aisha would believe me anyway.
She was a very factual person, rooted in logic and hard proof.
Nothing short of Xin shifting in front of her would make her believe me.
"Come on in, guys," I said, leading them into the house as Gray came racing to greet them.
Aisha and Ravi both cooed over the dog while I shook my head, glancing up as Xin came in from the kitchen where they'd been magicking up a dinner worthy of royals. I'd told them they didn't need to go all out, but they were determined to impress Aisha.
With Gray suitably loved up, Aisha and Ravi straightened, their gazes drifting to Xin, where they stuck. Aisha's eyes widened and Ravi's face went slack as they looked at my mate, and the caveman part of me wanted to puff up and show them off, but I restrained myself.
"You said they were gorgeous but..." Aisha trailed off with a shake of her head while Ravi nodded woodenly.
Xin ducked their head in an uncharacteristic move, and I wondered if they were embarrassed. But then I noticed the slight tremble in their shoulders and realized they were trying not to laugh.
I squinted at them. Had they somehow pushed the ethereal aura they exuded up a notch? Was that why Aisha, my eloquent detective friend, had suddenly found herself tongue-tied? I supposed that was one way to impress them.
I cleared my throat, and Xin's gaze slid to me. I raised a brow at them, and they gave me a sheepish smile.
"Hello, I'm Xin. It's nice to meet you," they said, and my friends startled out of their admiration.
Aisha flushed, then gathered herself as she stepped closer. "Hey, Xin. I'm Aisha. It's good to finally meet you. This one's said a lot about you."
I was just glad I'd never mentioned Xin's name to Aisha before, or I would've had some explaining to do.
We settled in the living room for some pre-dinner conversation, and Xin and I wove the tale of our meet-cute as Aisha and Ravi listened intently, Aisha rolling her eyes at story-me's clumsiness.
"So, what do you do, Xin?" Aisha asked, and I blinked, realizing we'd never discussed that, which was dumb considering it was such a basic question.
"Graphic design," Xin answered smoothly, squeezing my knee with the hand they'd placed on it when we sat down and never removed. "Mostly freelance, but I work with various companies for singular projects. I don't like being tied down to one place."
"Oh?" Aisha asked as she leaned forward, and I groaned internally. That was her detective face.
Xin blinked, then smiled. "For work," they said, then glanced over at me, their smile softening.
They had a special smile just for me? How had I not noticed that before?
"When it comes to Gabriel, it's different.
Very, very different." Their eyes stayed locked on mine as they spoke, and I swallowed.
Had the room gotten hotter all of a sudden?
It took me a moment to realize Aisha hadn't replied, and when I turned to look at her, I found her watching me, a smile hovering on her lips.
"Yeah, I can see that," she finally murmured, and I felt myself blush, which just made her smile widen. "They're cute together, aren't they?" she asked her husband, making no attempt to lower her voice, and Ravi nodded quickly.
"I feel beige in comparison," he mumbled, and I covered my face with my hand, making them both laugh as Xin squeezed my knee again.
My heart felt tight in my chest, like it had gotten too big for the space it was stuck in. It took me a few long seconds to gather myself before I could sit up straight, and Aisha shot me an apologetic look.
"Sorry. We didn't mean to tease."
I waved her off, and the conversation turned to Ravi's work. He owned a nursery and could bring to life even the most dried-up plants. Which meant he was nothing like me. I couldn't keep anything alive that couldn't remind me to feed them.
We seamlessly moved the conversation to the rarely used dining table in the kitchen, sharing the meal Xin had magicked up—aka stolen from a Thai restaurant.
"This food is delicious. You made it?"
Xin nodded, sneaking a look at me. I wasn't going to expose them. It was sweet how hard they were trying to impress Aisha and Ravi, even though they didn't have to. I valued Aisha's opinion, yes, but I knew Xin better than she did. I knew they were perfect for me, little white lies and all.
The meal passed amid easy conversation and copious amounts of wine—Ravi stopped after a glass so he could drive them home—though I had a feeling it didn't have much effect on Xin even as my mind grew hazy and pleasantly quiet.
We chatted for a while after dinner, finishing another bottle of wine between me and Aisha, before they decided to head home, Ravi supporting a slightly unsteady Aisha.
She could hold her liquor far better than me, because I was swaying where I stood as I waved them goodbye, and then I couldn't seem to remember how to lock the door once I'd closed it.
"You're drunk," Xin said matter-of-factly as they took over, and I leaned into them, tucking my nose into the side of their neck and breathing them in.
"You always smell so smokey. Is that from hellfire?"
"There's no such thing," they said with a chuckle, and I hummed, feeling perfectly comfortable as I leaned most of my weight into them. I felt like I could fall asleep just like this.
Xin
Gabriel had gotten absolutely smashed on red wine, and he looked impossibly cute with rosy cheeks and bleary eyes. He leaned against me as if he intended to fall asleep right there, and I shook my head. I needed to get him to bed.
"Whoa!" Gabriel exclaimed as I picked him up, cradling him against my chest as I headed toward his bedroom. He gazed up at me through wide eyes, his fist curling into my shirt. "You're so strong."
I chuckled, and he grinned, then patted my chest. "You really are. I know you are. But I'm still scared," he murmured, voice dropping as if he didn't want to admit it.
I frowned. "Scared of me?"
"No, stupid!" he said, making my frown disappear. He was so cute. I wanted to pull his cheeks, but I doubted that would go over well. "I'm scared of you getting hurt. Of... of you going away."
I'd concluded as much from my peek into his thoughts after our first date, but still, hearing him say it broke my heart. He never would've admitted it out loud if he wasn't drunk, and I felt a little bad taking advantage of the situation, but not enough to stop.
"I get that. You have every right to feel that way, Gabriel. But I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure I always, always come back to you."
Gabriel blinked up at me, and his eyes filled with tears as I placed him on his mattress. He wrapped his limbs around me as I went to pull back, and I stopped.
"Shh, I'm not going anywhere. Let me lie down with you."
Reluctantly, Gabriel let me go, and I let a wave of magic sweep through the house, turning off lights, putting the leftovers in the fridge, refreshing the water in Gray's bowl and closing the bedroom door.
Then I got rid of our clothes and climbed into the bed, freeing my hair from the bun I'd placed it in earlier. Gabriel shuffled close as soon as I was horizontal, his eyes searching for mine in the dark.
"I'm sorry," he murmured after a moment, and I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around him as he nuzzled into my chest.
"You have nothing to apologize for."
"I know it's your job, and you can't change it. I'm trying to be okay with it, I swear."
"It's okay, Gabriel. I understand. I promise."
Gabriel was quiet for a long moment, and I rubbed his back, hoping it would comfort him enough to fall asleep.
"I'm drunk," he mumbled suddenly, and I chuckled.
"Yes, you are. Are you enjoying yourself?"
"A little. I could enjoy myself more," he said, a sly note in his voice as his hand slid from my back to my ass.
I bit back a moan, then reached back to pull his hand into safer territory. "Not while you're drunk, Gabriel."
"I like it when you say my name like that," he said, changing tracks in the way only a drunk person could.
"Oh? You like it when I call you Gabriel?" I asked, each syllable rolling off my tongue with a deliberate pause in between.
"Fuck." Gabriel shifted closer, and his erection pressed against my leg, making my brows shoot up. Oh. He really liked it when I said his name, huh?
"When I grow up, I want a big house," he said, once again making a turn. "With a room just for Gray with all his favorite toys. And a music room. Maybe I could offer classes from home."
A house, huh? I could make that happen. I would have to look into what kind of qualifications he'd need to teach from home, but I guessed less than what he needed to teach in a school.
"Do you have a house in the demon realm?"
If I wasn't a demon, I'd have trouble following all the conversation threads he was weaving together. As it was, I answered him after only a moment of thought.
"Not exactly. The demon realm consists of a connected cave structure, and all of us have our private suites in different caves within the same structure."
"Oooh. Can I see it?"
"Of course. But maybe after you've sobered up, hmm? I don't think you'd want to meet any of the others in this state."
"True, true. I want them to like me," he said with a sigh.
"Of course they'll like you. You're my mate."
"Do you love me?" he asked, and I froze.
Should I put him to sleep? I wasn't sure how he'd feel about this conversation tomorrow, and I'd rather he didn't say something he would regret.
"Because I think I love you. But I'm scared to say it," he said, his dark eyes meeting mine, the vulnerability on his face making my magicked-up heart ache.
"I swear I'll treasure your heart more than my own," I said, holding him close.
Gabriel smiled, soft and tired, then dropped his gaze to my chest. "It's not you. I'm just—I—I think I'm cursed," he said with a laugh that was anything but amused. "Everyone I've ever loved is dead. What if I love you, and you die too?"
"You're not cursed," I promised, speaking past the lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat.
The wine had loosened his tongue, revealing all the fears he'd been hiding inside his heart, and I desperately wanted to make them disappear.
"Trust me, I would be able to tell if you were.
Your parents' death, your brother's, it wasn't your fault. You were just a child, Gabriel."
He nodded slowly, but I wasn't sure he believed me. No matter. I would tell him that as often as it took to change his mind.
"You should get some sleep, Gabriel," I said, and he hummed as he nuzzled deeper into my chest, his breathing slowing down almost instantly.
I think I love you. I'd told myself it didn't matter if he ever said the words, but I had to admit that even drunk, they sounded good. Right.
I'd wanted to say it back, but I couldn't, not when there was a possibility he'd forget all about it when he woke.
No, I'd tell him tomorrow, when he was awake and aware of every word I said, so he would know I meant them.