Chapter 4
Four
Pythor
I closed my door behind me, and eyed Vanessa's car. Was I supposed to teach her as well? My neighbor—Codie, I reminded myself—hadn't mentioned her. Not that I minded. Teaching two people would be the same as teaching one person.
Making my way across the street, I climbed the three porch steps, then knocked on the door. It was five minutes to eleven, but I figured that wasn't too early.
I heard soft footsteps approach the door, then pause, and waited patiently. Codie was clearly nervous about this whole thing, and I didn't want to make it worse.
After a moment, I heard the lock turn, then another, then a third one. Codie was really afraid of someone, wasn't he? Just who was he scared of, and was there a way I could help him?
While he wasn't really my responsibility, I wanted to do as much good as I could while I was here in the human realm.
The door finally opened, stopping as the chain went taut, and an overwhelming scent slammed into me, making me stumble back as I met warm brown eyes full of nerves that turned to confusion at my reaction.
Codie glanced down at himself, clearly trying to make sense of my reaction, and I shook my head, then gave him a warm smile, trying not to let the weight of my realization show on my face.
"Hey. Codie, right? I'm Pythor."
He blinked, then slowly removed the chain and pulled the door open wider, staying behind it as if shielding himself. "Come in. Please."
I stepped through, and he quickly closed the door, turning only one of the locks. He was clearly unsure about having me in his space, and I could understand that.
My mild curiosity from before had now turned into a raging need to know just who he was afraid of, but I tamped it down before my anger got the best of me.
Now that I was inside, I got my first good look at Codie.
He was shorter than me, around 5'8", and dressed in a long, thick, dark brown overcoat, the sleeves reaching past his wrists as he kept his arms crossed over his chest. His skin looked soft and warm, his eyes dark brown and cautious as he peered at me.
His hair was a mess of curls on top of his head, and trimmed short at the sides. He was beautiful.
"Pythor, glad you could make it!" Vanessa said as she came over, and I turned to her with a smile.
"Thankfully, there wasn't much traffic," I joked, grinning when it pulled a chuckle from Codie.
Vanessa rolled her eyes, then clapped her hands. "Let's do this. My kid's at daycare on a weekend, so Mama's in a hurry."
"I told you you could bring her here. She could've watched TV in my bedroom," Codie said, and Vanessa waved him off.
"And I told you I'd be there for you a hundred percent, didn't I?"
Codie shook his head, though he couldn't quite hide his smile. They were clearly very close, but I didn't get the feeling they were involved romantically, which was good.
"Where would you like to do this? We need some open space," I said, and Vanessa waved toward the open plan living room.
"We can move the couch and coffee table back. Will that be enough?"
"Sure. I'll help," I said as Vanessa waved Codie off and took the other end of the couch.
I took most of the weight—I could've easily picked it up with one hand, but a human couldn't, so I had to pretend—and Vanessa shot me an impressed look as we moved the couch against the far wall, then the coffee table.
"Okay. Are you ready to start?" I asked Codie, and he visibly swallowed, his eyes flicking from me to Vanessa, who gave him a wide smile, before returning to me as he nodded. I smiled, then took a few steps back, giving him some space as I tried to switch my brain to teacher mode.
"Before we move to the physical side of things, there are a lot of ways you can protect yourself without fighting.
Fighting always, always has to be the last resort, because not only is it much harder to fight off an attacker, especially if they're bigger than you, but it can also cause you physical harm and be just as deadly. "
Codie shuddered, and I paused, unsure if I should continue. I didn't know what had happened in his past—though I desperately wanted to so I could punish whoever was responsible—but it was clear he was still dealing with the trauma it'd caused, and the last thing I wanted to do was make it worse.
"Go on," he murmured after a moment, a look of determination crossing his face, and I nodded.
"The most important thing you can ever do is trust your instincts.
Humans are probably the only species in the world who thinks they're smarter than their instincts, and they're wrong," I said, then blinked.
Oops. "Our instincts are just as good as any other animal in the animal kingdom, and we should trust them, especially when they're warning us against doing something or trusting someone. "
Vanessa nodded sagely, then chimed in. "I knew I shouldn't hook up with the sperm donor the moment he bought me a drink, but I'd been stupid. Not that I regret having Alia, but still."
I smiled, glad for the moment of levity since Codie once again looked like he wasn't fully here in the present.
"Codie?" I pressed, and he jumped, then gave me a sharp nod.
"Trust your instincts. Got it."
I gazed at him for a long moment, wondering if this was the right decision on his part. Was he truly ready for this? I didn't want to cause him harm.
The moment he'd opened that door, all my goals and wants, my whole reason for being here, had changed. The moment his sweet scent had slammed into me, the moment I found out what he meant to me, my whole world had tilted on its axis.
If a dark soul walked past at this very moment, I didn't think I'd want to chase after it, not when it meant leaving my mate behind.
Codie
Pythor was nothing like I'd expected.
He was tall, and muscular, and if any other man who looked like him was this close to me, I was sure I'd be in the middle of a panic attack. Yet I didn't feel a lick of fear around him, which just made me more nervous.
He'd talked about instincts, and mine seemed to insist he could be trusted, that he wasn't dangerous. But had my instincts ever clued me in on how dangerous he was that night? If they had, I didn't remember it. So how could I trust them about Pythor?
The ringing of a phone jerked me out of my thoughts, and I glanced over at Vanessa as she grabbed her phone from where she'd placed it on the counter that separated the living room and kitchen.
"It's the daycare," she murmured, then answered the call. "Hello?" She listened for a moment, and her eyes went wide. "Shit. I'll be right there."
"What's wrong?" I asked as soon as the call ended, and she gave me a pained look.
"Alia got hurt, and she's inconsolable."
"Go," I urged, and she glanced between us, biting her lower lip.
"I can leave," Pythor offered, and I wondered if he'd realized why Vanessa was here after all. "We can meet up again later. It's not like I need to travel far."
"That would be—" Nessa started, but I cut her off.
"It's fine. We can continue on our own."
"Are you sure?" Nessa asked me, her blue eyes wide and full of concern.
The fact that she was so worried about me when her own kid needed her warmed my heart, and I gave her a quick hug, jumping back before she could return it.
Her eyes went even wider—probably because it was the first time I'd hugged her since that night—and she pressed her lips firmly as she gave me a nod.
"Call me if you need anything. Anything. "
"I will," I promised, and she rushed out as I followed after her to close the door. Pythor stayed where he was as I returned, and I swallowed hard.
"Okay, let's continue."
Pythor nodded, then started telling me how to not make myself an accessible target.
He was factual as he spoke, his voice warm and confident, like he truly believed in what he was saying.
I doubted he'd ever had to actually defend himself—a person would have to be an idiot to attack someone like him—but he made me feel like I could be safe if I did what he said.
When he started talking about verbal boundaries, though, I couldn't help flashing back to that night.
Would things have gone differently if I'd been more confident or firm when rejecting his advances?
I'd been trying to be polite. Should I have been direct instead?
And did that mean that everything that'd happened after had been my fault?
Flashes from that night danced before my eyes, memories I wished I could just erase from my mind, and the questions kept repeating in my head. Was it my fault? Could I have done things differently and avoided it all? Was it my fault? Was it?
"Codie!"
I jumped, struggling to drag in a breath as my mind struggled, trapped between the past and the present. Where was I? What was happening?
"Breathe for me, Codie," a warm voice said, and I latched onto it, trying to pull myself out of this miasma and toward it as it kept going. "Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth."
I followed the voice, forcing my unwilling lungs to cooperate.
"In through your nose, out through your mouth," he repeated, and I breathed again, finding it a little easier this time.
"Again. In through your nose, out through your mouth," Pythor murmured, and I nodded as I did it, blinking hard as my vision cleared. I quickly wiped off the tears staining my cheek, and Pythor retreated a few steps.
While with anyone else, I would've felt crowded and uncomfortable, I instantly missed his warmth when he pulled back. Why did I react so differently to him? What was so special about this man?
"I'm sorry," I mumbled as my cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and he shook his head.
"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, Codie," he said, a hint of an accent peeking through his words. I didn't recognize the accent, but it somehow made his statement sound firmer, as if he wouldn't hear any arguments against it.
I shrugged, and an awkward silence hung between us before Pythor cleared his throat.
"How about we end our session here today? You should take some time to recover, and check in with Vanessa. Message me later, and we can decide when our next session will be. I'm free most mornings, so we don't have to stick to the weekends if weekdays work better for you and Vanessa."
I nodded, not quite surprised by his thoughtfulness. He was clearly a good guy, and according to him, I'd be an idiot not to trust my instincts.
"Okay. Thank you, for... for the class," I said lamely, when I'd been thanking him for his help with my panic attack. Mentioning it would make it more real, though, so the lame sentiment would have to do.
Pythor gave me a warm smile, his brown eyes soft and kind. "It was my pleasure."
I walked him to the door, and he stepped outside, waiting until I'd closed and locked the door—thrice—before he stepped off my porch and made his way to his place.
I watched him until he went into his place, and just before he closed the door, he smiled at me, as if he could see me through the solid wood door between us.
My cheeks flushed as I pulled away from the door, and I shook my head. Of course he couldn't see me. He'd been smiling at my house. But why? Did that mean he'd enjoyed spending time with me? Even though I'd freaked out and had a meltdown in front of him?
I shook my head at the fanciful thought and made my way to the kitchen. I always felt thirsty after a panic attack, and I downed two glasses of water before going to my studio, taking my phone so I could call Nessa.
Once she'd assured me Alia was fine and they were back home, I put my phone away and turned my attention to the painting I'd been working on.
The other one still sat abandoned because it reminded me of that night far too much.
I wasn't ready to face it yet. But this one was easy. This one I could handle.
As I painted, my thoughts drifted back to Pythor. Why did I feel so unafraid around him? He looked exactly like the men who haunted my nightmares—except for the skin color, since they'd all been white—and yet he never elicited fear in me.